I'm with ya sister!.................currently in one of those...........nice guy, yet painfully boring, routine, repetitive..........DNR............."do not recycle"..............being human is about reaching for more...........it's when you stop reaching...........is when a little bit of you dies inside...................I wish you luck and wisdom.............it is a giant step for those of us who held on just a little too long..............financially, emotionally and pure happiness..................write your goals down and see how realistic they are...................and if you still "love" him, as I do believe you do...............break it off slowly and allow him to adjust to the changing circumstances.......yes, it's for him and not you...........but you know it's the least you can do........if your around my age (40ish) there's no reason you can't turn into life long friends...............so you have no spark and heavy duty into the doldrums............doen't mean you can't be buds

........For him: easy, gentle and slow
........For you: plan it out carefully

I feel for you. I am in exactly the same situation. I feel like a mother rather than a lover. My husband constantly states how he can't live with out me. I love him dearly but I am not IN love with him anymore. Often it feels I stay in our marriage to make him happy all the while I suffer silently. He continues his daily life unaware anything is wrong, even when there are very clear signs . I've tried to bring it up numerous times, but am only shot down with statements such as " I don't want to talk about it" "Promise you'll never leave me" or "I can't be on my own I'll just fail"

I wish you the best of luck in this as I can not muster up my own courage to leave and live my own life. *hugs*

you know i'm getting married now at age 34 and wouldn't like to imagine after spending this many thousands in a wedding to divorce later and what is worse go to the streets and find a new man, cause being alone sucks..guess i could think of that if I were divorced at a young age like my fiance. He is divorced twice so I'm going to be his third wife. He says by now that if doesn't work out with he has no intention to ever marry again...we say him the third is the charm!

Good luck with that. I think marrying the 'right' person and waiting 'alone' is more important then being with someone who is the wrong one. Alot of people these days get married because they don't want to be alone. Why didn't his last two relationships work

Well said Dale, well said!

Its so sad! BUT VERY TRUE!

I agree with that. I look back and I have waited a long time single but I sure dated all kinds of men around. I dated singles never being married, divorced with children, divorced with no children, widowers.. all kinds so I know for sure what I am getting into. I can't begin to tell how much i have learned but let me just say that never a guy is going to be perfect. One guy may have this good qualities, but then he will have these other problems...I learned that the good bf i had in collegue that i ditch because i felt i didn't love him was actually the kind of man I would marry now. But it took me a decade of dating and failling relationships to learn what is a man that is right...

My fiance had a marriage of five years which ended because she cheated on him, problem was she was sexually abused as child by her stepfather (and she never received any phsychological help) and while the relationship was okay my fiance couldn't figure this kind of problem can take a toll on the phsychic of someone and can end up resurfacing in a marriage. His second marriage only lasted 6 months, this one he wasn't sure it was going to work out but his friends keep telling him everything was going to be okay and sure not it did not so he got away quickly..After this he realized he just can't trust his judgement of character and by when he met me he sure asked his mom for advice, his mom had a checkup list hehe but fortunatetly I did qualified in all the items hehe well basically he learned he can't look for a woman that he is rescuing, but a woman who is already rescued..even thought he is divorced twice he has no children something very important for me..

qualified? You had to be qualified to be with him! Can't he make his own choices.. CAN YOU CHOOSE WEIRD

of course he is making the choice but he is asking advice whether he is making a good choice or not, do you understand? Is not that I have to be qualified to be with him. For example his mom says you should look for a woman who has an education, should have a job and so on..he makes his choice but he's looking this time these qualities..

I definetly have a list of qualities that if a guy is interested in me he must have..must have a job, must have an education..must not have children, must be a christian..and so on..

OK because he SHOULD know IF YOUR THE ONE with OUT asking his mom.. BECAUSE his mom is NOT marrying you.. HE IS and he needs to figure out for himself if youre the right one for him. It's still kinda weird. You must be christian to marry him have an education have a job not have children... So, what if you had a child does that mean you're not qualified? OR what if you couldn't afford higher education.. Does that not quailfy? OR what if you had all of the above, but your job was a stripper.. Would you still be qualified?

Look I can't explain you more so you can understand how it is. English is my second language so that makes more difficult for me to say things in a way you can understand better..so never mind okay..and don't worry. I'm sure the one for him.. we are both very happy and I can't wait for our wedding in october..if want please give me some ideas for wedding favors, I have it all figure out except for that..

Yes I have lots of ideas for wedding favors. I make them for my friends and family and a couple of outside people have asked me to make them.. I can give you lots of ideas. I have my pup waiting at the dorr for her walk so I will tell you some ideas tomorrow! have a good nighT!

great! I look for 'ya tomorrow then

Whats your budget

well i will have about 60 guests..so i'm looking at something about $2 per head..

You are making a hugh mistake! You don't just walk out because your bored. What is wrong with you? What about your vows? Boy, are you in for a big surprise! There will come a day when you'll wish you had stayed where you're at. The grass is always greener on the other side. I know. I was single for many years, and it isn't any fun. Your problem is not your marriage, it's you. You've become soo self absorbed. Here's an idea. Start thinking about someone else other than your self. Do some charity work, join a club, do something. It isn't your husbands job to make you happy. If that's what you think, than you don't understand what marriage is. Get some counseling, and try to work this out.