I have been with my boyfriend off and on
for the past 2 years. I have a 4 year old
daughter who thinks of my boyfriend as
daddy. For the past few months he's been
accusing me of sleeping with guys. I'm 25
and haven't had too many sexual partners,
i've told him about every guy i'd ever
been with. Even after lying straight to
his face I told him I was raped and that
i'd lied about it. To make a long story
short, i've bent over backwards trying to
show him i'm not cheating, i'll stay up
many nights just pretty much talking to
myself because he's trying to tell if i'm
talking (the way I always talk) because
i'm having sex. It's even gotten to wear
he thinks i'm sleeping with guys at my
job. My current boss even talked to him a
few days ago but he still didn't believe I
was at work. I've asked him to give me a
lie detector test but he won't then blames
me and says I don't care because i'm broke
and can't afford to pay for it. I'd even
asked if I could just go borrow money and
he said not to worry about it. He seems
to always be too busy to talk to me or if
were on the phone he won't really talk he
just wants me to talk. This morning at 4
am he said to just leave him alone that
he'd turn his phone off and delete any
emails from me. Most of his clothes and
stuff are at my apartment, forgot to
mention I live in TX and he lives in CA.
He said to just mail his stuff to him, so
I said I would then he is now mad at me
and says that I gave up on the
relationship because I said i'd mail his
stuff. Within the past month when he's
been here we've talked about my daughter
and I moving to CA, us getting a place
together and even having a baby together.
He's fine when he's here with me but as
soon as he's back in CA he's a different
person.
I know this is really long so i'll make
this short, a little info about me. I was
severly depressed 2 year ago when I met
him online. I was self injuring on a
daily basis. He left me for 6 months in
during that time I cut myself really bad
one night. I've finally come to
understand that i'm an alcoholic and that
I can't even touch a drink. I no longer
hurt myself and now realize my mood
swings. I'm trying to be a better mom and
not lose my temper. Why can't I just let
him go, why do I want to try and help save
him like he saved me 9 months ago. A
small bit of info on him, he drinks
regularly even though he says its only
with me but I think he's lying and he does
cocaine this too I believe to be on a
regular basis. Please help me with any
suggestions on why he acts like this, if I
should try to stay with him and help him
or what I can do to just let go.
Thanks and sorry again for this being so
long.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 07-02-07 12:21pm
do you want to up and move your daughter
and change your lives forever just to be
with someone who doesn't trust you and you
don't trust him.He knows you lied to him
once so he will think that from now on.the
fact that you don't trust him and think
he's lying are not good.moving there and
having a child will not make things better
only worsen the matter.If you think he's
doing cocaine and drinking all the time,do
you want your daughter around that? I
wouldn't want to put a child in that type
of environment.she should be your first
priority and her safety as well as yours
should be in mind.Your relationship is not
very stable. I think most women have a
nurturing side to them and always want to
help,to make thigns better.the truth is
you can't.I tried and I know several other
women have and things just don't work and
its for a reason.Maybe you should take a
break.Your a dependant woman and you don't
*need* a man in your life.you should save
your time for someone who is worth giving
it to imo! I hope things get better for
you and you make the right decision for
you and your child.
