Time Span Between Children Posted: 06-30-07 16:07pm
What do you feel is the best time span
between children?
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vanessalouanne
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:15pm
for the mothers sake or the childrens??
my husband and his sister are 11 months
apart and are very close. but there is no
way i could ever do that.
our perfect number that were talking about
is 2 and a half years-3 years. right
around the age 2 mark were going to try
again (give or take a few months)
i feel that at least that way you give
your body a break, the first child some
alone time, and when the baby comes the
toddler is old enough to maybe understand
things a little bit more and they are
getting to that age where they are a
little bit more independent.
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jessesgirl
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:20pm
We want our four children less than 2
years apart. Ava's 8 months and we're
trying right now.
I can't wait to have another baby.
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vanessalouanne
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:23pm
hah you are a stronger women then i am!!
i would love to have all mine close
together but as bad as it sounds i just
hate being pregnant...well im also saying
this when im in the final 2 weeks and am
super uncomfortable.
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vanessalouanne
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:24pm
i read what you wrote on the other topic
too.
im like you in that i want to be done
having all our kids by the time im 26 and
i want 3
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jessesgirl
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:26pm
How old are you?? I loved being pregnant
from what I remember. I'm sure when
heartburn, discharge, and restless leg
syndrome kicks in I'll remember not liking
it very much. I loved my big belly though
and feeling all those kicks.
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OctoberBaby06
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:45pm
I've said since .Kaylee was born that I
wanted to try for another one when she's
1, & now that we're getting a house
we'll be able too because we'll have room
.. Pretty much
whatever happens after my 21st birthday
(.July 28th) is fine with me
My sister & brothers are pretty far
apart & none of us get along hardly at
all. I'm 20, my sister is 17, my one
brother is 13 & my youngest brother is
6 so we're pretty far spread out.
I want my kids to be close enough in age
so they can kind of grow up together.
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jessesgirl
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Posted: 06-30-07 16:50pm
OctoberBaby06
wrote:
I've said since .Kaylee was
born that I wanted to try for another one
when she's 1, & now that we're getting
a house we'll be able too because we'll
have room .. Pretty much
whatever happens after my 21st birthday
(.July 28th) is fine with me
My sister & brothers are pretty far
apart & none of us get along hardly at
all. I'm 20, my sister is 17, my one
brother is 13 & my youngest brother is
6 so we're pretty far spread out.
I want my kids to be close enough in age
so they can kind of grow up
together.
That's what my husband wants too.
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vanessalouanne
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Posted: 06-30-07 17:06pm
i'll be 22 on the 24th.
i figure if i pop another one out in about
2 years and one more after that im right
on track lol.
im sure i will forget how much i hate it
when im holding her in a few weeks.
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kaerbear
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Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 06-30-07 17:58pm
i've got a few weeks left and i'm still
loving it, uncomfortable as it is. i
wouldn't mind having another one soon as
long i was able to get in good enough
shape to start out with. but i probably
won't be doing that because i need to get
my schooling finished and work on us being
more financially ready for the second one.
i hate to set up a big plan because you
never know what life will throw at you but
i'm thinking if i wait 3 or 4 years to try
for second baby i'll still be 35 or
younger and we will have time to be more
ready than we are the first time around.
i also want so badly to be married and
feel bad that we got pregnant before we
were married. but, like i said, life just
happens sometimes and you gotta roll with
it. so for all my planning i just really
hope i don't get preggers right after this
one cuz that would be too much!!
maybe i'll just abstain from sex for 3
years lol. (not)
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Tylanas
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Posted: 06-30-07 18:18pm
My brother and I are 3 years apart, and we
grew up like twins nearly, we're so close.
Then again, we moved every 2-3 years so we
were our only friends haha XD I've always
felt more comfortable with people younger
than myself and I think that's the reason.
I'm the older sibling lol.
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ladylee70
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Posted: 06-30-07 19:35pm
I really think it depends on the
children's personalities.
There is a 14 and 13 year age difference
between me and my two older brothers. My
parents divorced and my father remarried.
My father had two girls who are 7 and 14
years younger. I am in the middle. It was
basically just my mom and I and I felt
extremely lonely as a child. I really
wanted a sibling closer in age.
There is almost a 4 year age difference
between my husband and his brother. There
will also be close to a 4 year age
difference between are two children.
My husband has never been that close to
his brother because they were just very
different in personalities. I am fairly
close to my brother who is 13 years older
and used to be closer to my sister who is
7 years younger. I really have never
fought with any of my siblings because of
the age gap. I will never understand what
it's like to have a really close
connection with siblings, though.
I feel a little guilty because I really
wanted our children to be closer in age. A
two year age difference sounds ideal. You
just never know. I guess I will see how
their personalities come about.
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jenn_smithson
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Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 06-30-07 21:41pm
My older sisters and I have a span of 11
and 9 years respectively with me being the
youngest. I also have a younger brother
with an almost 5 year gap between the two
of us.
I was never close with either of my older
sisters. They always tried to act like my
mother when I was very young and tried to
boss me around a lot. Most of the time,
it was not out of a concern for my
personal safety either, it was just to
boss me around. I really resented the way
I was treated, still do, and finally felt
better when they both moved out (though
they both came right back knocked up).
My younger brother and I are close now but
we weren't always. Growing up, since he
was the boy, the baby, the little prince,
he received the most attention, the best
clothes (I had to wear hand-me-downs for a
long time), the best toys, and the fewest
rules and chores. He would also
physically pick on me until I picked back
because he knew they wouldn't reprimand
him, only me. When he finally grew out of
his obnoxious phase, we became very good
friends and still are. Further, with the
gap between us, my parents were able to
not have two college tuitions to pay at
the same time. I was graduated and
looking at grad school by the time my
brother graduated from high school.
From experience, .i.f I have more than one
child (a big .i.f), they will more than
likely be spaced four to five years a part
if not a little longer. However, since I
am only planning for one child, they will
have all of their undregraduate and
graduate, medical, or law school paid for
so that they do not have to work as hard
as I have. I would want the same for any
additional child I had so I would do my
best to space them far enough apart to
make that a possibility. I have friends
who have had it harder than me in school
because their parents, while making enough
to provide a decent life while growing up,
could not afford multi-tuition expenses
for their closely spaced children and yet
made too much money for any of the
children to qualify for grants or most
scholarships. I also do not think my
sanity could handle more than one small
child at a time and I would not want to
divide my time or attention unequally
between them.
Peace,
Jenn
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 06-30-07 23:18pm
I think it depends on the parents and what
their situation is like. My mom always
had two in diapers and she said it was
tough, but she wouldn't change it. But
she had my dad. If I were a parent whose
significant other was often out of town,
etc, I would space my children out more.
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ladylee70
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Posted: 07-01-07 00:21am
jenn_smithson
wrote:
I have friends who have had
it harder than me in school because their
parents, while making enough to provide a
decent life while growing up, could not
afford multi-tuition expenses for their
closely spaced children and yet made too
much money for any of the children to
qualify for grants or most scholarships.
I also do not think my sanity could handle
more than one small child at a time and I
would not want to divide my time or
attention unequally between them.
Peace,
Jenn
A part of me really wants to have one more
child. What would be really stopping me is
exactly what you have said. In a way, I
am one of those people you are talking
about with regard to lack of money for
college. My mom being a single parent
couldn't afford to put away money for
college but the reason was not due to a
lot of siblings close in age. She ended up
making too much money later and I didn't
qualify for grants. I will be paying
school off for the rest of my life...which
going to school was my choice.
If we have more children, we would not be
able to afford to put them through
college. Do I want my children to
experience what I went through, absolutely
not. My husband's parents said they don't
regret the four year age difference at
all, especially because they only had one
child in college at a time. Their parents
were able to budget everything out quite
well.
Good point.
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Becky
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Posted: 07-01-07 03:40am
my first two are ten months apart and
there would of been a year between my 2nd
and 3rd babies but i miscarried at 21
weeks. i am looking to try for another
baby in the middle of next year hopefully
so layla will be 4 and logan will be 3
when s/he is born
there is 17 years between me and my sister
and she is more like a daughter to me but
you can tell we are sisters cause we still
argue like sisters even with the age gap!
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vanessalouanne
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Posted: 07-01-07 06:08am
ladylee70
wrote:
jenn_smithson
wrote:
I have friends who have had
it harder than me in school because their
parents, while making enough to provide a
decent life while growing up, could not
afford multi-tuition expenses for their
closely spaced children and yet made too
much money for any of the children to
qualify for grants or most scholarships.
I also do not think my sanity could handle
more than one small child at a time and I
would not want to divide my time or
attention unequally between them.
Peace,
Jenn
A part of me really wants to have one more
child. What would be really stopping me is
exactly what you have said. In a way, I
am one of those people you are talking
about with regard to lack of money for
college. My mom being a single parent
couldn't afford to put away money for
college but the reason was not due to a
lot of siblings close in age. She ended up
making too much money later and I didn't
qualify for grants. I will be paying
school off for the rest of my life...which
going to school was my choice.
If we have more children, we would not be
able to afford to put them through
college. Do I want my children to
experience what I went through, absolutely
not. My husband's parents said they don't
regret the four year age difference at
all, especially because they only had one
child in college at a time. Their parents
were able to budget everything out quite
well.
Good point.
agreed!!
i didnt qualify for any grants and i am so
in debt with student loans i dont know if
i will ever fully pay them off and im
still not even done with school.
having the money is so important.
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nightangel73
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Re: Time Span Between Children Posted: 07-01-07 08:42am
jessesgirl
wrote:
What do you feel is the best
time span between
children?
i think shorter spaced would be best but i
don't think there is a rule of what should
be best. It really doesn't matter the span
as long as you can handle it. I have a
coworker who had young siblings and he
hated them screaming and having to deal
with young kid in the house. He also hated
he had to take care of them. So much he
disliked he doesn't want to have children
on his own. Since i'm 34 and i will be ttc
at 35 mine would be close aged but then I
don't know what my thought process would
be then. I may have one and think that is
enough.
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Dannzibelle
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Posted: 07-01-07 09:30am
There was just under 4 years between me
and my sister, i like the age gap because
we were similar enough ages to be really
close but not similar enough to annoy
eachother if you understand what i mean.
My sister's kids have 14 months bewtween
them, she's coped very well and it wasn'tt
oo dificult for her but being pregnant so
soon after her first pregnancy did mean
that she didn't enjoy her second pregnancy
very much.
In an ideal world i'd have another when
.Mika's about 2-3 but i know that can't
happen due to my finacial situation
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sick_mama17
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Joined: 22 Jun 2007 Posts: 960 Location: , England
Posted: 07-02-07 04:07am
ladylee70
wrote:
I really think it depends on
the children's personalities.
I agree.
Having kids close in age doesnt make the
chance of them growing up close anymore
likely. There are many siblings close in
age who dont get on at all and after
leaving home, hardly talk to eachother
anymore.
Then theres many siblings further apart in
age and they are extremely close.
Imo the only real pro for the
children in having them really
close in age, is that they always have
another child to play with in the home
when they are young and to go out shopping
etc with when they get a bit older.
To me, that isnt a great reason to do it
because theres always the parents, and
school friends for them to do those things
with instead, and be close to. (Unless the
parents are the type who are really lazy
when it comes to doing activities with
their kids )
As I dont believe having them really close
in age makes any difference to how close
they will end up being, I personally think
its best to plan the time span between
children, on how you feel you can cope /
provide for them best and enjoy them the
most.
- That will depend on whats going on in
your life with your, finances, housing,
relationship, job, health, other
child/ren. Also greatly on your
personality.