i wrote this better but when i hit submit
it went to login screen it got lost...its
a bit quicker written
so basically the low down of myself is
that im 19, just quit my job and have been
isolating myself for the 8 months or so. I
avoided my close friends/family to the
point where they got the picture and left
me alone. ive always been a little shy
but i would try to work with what i had,
and had a good optimistic view on life.
...but lately i dont know who i am
anymore. I talk to myself frequently now,
inside my head and outside. Sometimes it
gets so bad ill pace my house or just
stare in the mirror talking to myself
about stuff with no importance. But its
usually on self improvement or judgemental
remarks regarding me or situations i could
have played out better. my speech has
gotten pretty bad, maybe its just the lack
of socializing in the past months, but the
thing is i have gotten scared TO socialize
now. I cant find any meaning to anything,
it seems like every experiance to feeling,
seeing,smelling,tasting,touching,hearing,a
nd talking has no importance.
I guess deep down im looking for
something, something that will give me
meaning to this place and how i can deal
with it head on. But the past few days ive
been getting really scared. scared to the
point of semi tears. Im scared because i
am getting infatuated with experiancing
death. the thought of something better
being on the other side makes me TRULY
smile. i mean what if were waisting time
and theres something really good on the
other side. the point is i canot live
anymore, i cannot think, read, type or
anything! i think im SZ, only thing that
makes sense when read. i guess ineed help,
probably some good advice would be good
too. cause im starting to head down a road
that i might regret (but you couldn't)
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
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Posted: 07-01-07 11:45am
I'm sorry this is happening to you. It
doesn't sound like schizophrenia to me. I
think you might want to see a doctor, who
is always better informed. Maybe something
can be done. You know, there might not be
anything better on the other side at all.
If life sucks here, why should it be
wonderful there? Your best bet is
improving things here. Also, I'm wondering
what, if anything, triggered your descent
into this situation? Did something
specific happen?
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Chezzy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2007 Posts: 152
Posted: 07-01-07 19:34pm
Hi zmind..It doesnt sound like your sz
either.Depressed maybe.What happened for
you to quit your job??Or did something
happen in your family life..Has the past
anything to do with your situation now and
how your feeling..Sometimes when bad
things happen in the past, it catches up
with us.im not saying anything has but
there might be a key there to unlock your
door that you feel trapped in my friend.
Maybe talking to someone about your
emotions and how you feel at the moment,
talking is good, getting things out in the
open releasing hurts, fears. Not holding
things inside.
I believe things start with us, on this
side of the world, even though you may not
think there is no way out, god will never
shut a door without first opening another
for you to walk through.
Keep in touch and think about maybe
talking things through with someone, find
the root cause of your un-happiness and
why you feel withdrawn.
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
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Posted: 07-03-07 10:07am
You say "God doesn't shut one door without
opening another". You make it sound like
we're rats in a maze. What does that make
God?
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Chezzy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2007 Posts: 152
Posted: 07-03-07 17:49pm
That was not my intention at all..What
ever made you say that???
Tell me why God gets all the blame for all
the horrible things that happen to people
in life??
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1422 Location: , Georgia USA
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Opinion.......... Posted: 07-03-07 18:03pm
Zmind, you have all the symptoms of
depression. Something has triggered this
and its come on big time for you. This
isolation and pacing the floor, talking to
yourself.........and there is NOTHING on
the other side. Look at those fool suicide
pilots from 9/11. Did their crazy ass
truly believe they were going to paradise
for killing innocent people? Get a grip.
There is NO PARADISE.You need to find
help, because there is a chemical
embalance up there in your head that you
have absolutely no control over. Find a
mental health professional and talk with
these people. They can turn your whole
word around. No magic pill is gonna help
unless you take control and say you want
your life back. Until you have come close
to deaths door, you really won't
appreciate what you have and who you have
in this life. Wake up and do something
before its too late........Been there done
that and ain't going back!
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
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Posted: 07-04-07 10:31am
Chezzy
wrote:
That was not my intention at
all..What ever made you say that???
Tell me why God gets all the blame for all
the horrible things that happen to people
in life??
He gets the blame because he's conceived
as a big Father figure that pulls strings
and controls things, and if you say that
he closes and opens doors for us, then
that's your conception of God as well. I
don't mean to be nasty, I just strongly
disagree with this concept.
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Chezzy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2007 Posts: 152
Posted: 07-04-07 20:08pm
OK I see what your saying there, and I see
why you are saying it..Bad things do
happen in life, I believe they do, to say
they don't I'd be a wally . But I
don't believe god should be blamed for bad
things that happen to people, maybe I said
it wrong, I guess I was talking from
personal experience which isn't always the
case for others, so I apologise.
Even though people suffer and they ask,
OK, big boss up stairs, why is this
happening to me..And people suffer, iv
watched my mum suffer for many many years
with so called schizophrenia that they
told her she had, in our situation, we
have found answers to why this has
happened, as iv written in another
thread.
I believe in Jesus and God, and certainly
know what the devil can cause and do to
people..Like I said in our situation Iv
seen doors open, and things brought to
light, I guess that's why I said it..But
as I said, its not case with some people,
each is different, and I guess its how we
see things.
Do you believe in Jesus???
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-05-07 09:57am
I doubt that Jesus can help you from
outside. If you want liberation or to be
saved you can try to be BE Jesus and do it
that way. So you can use his example, and
that's laudable. But other cultures come
to a realization or deal with negative
aspects of our lives through other means,
like meditation and other practices. So
Jesus is a cultural model, not an
objective world-wide saviour.
. But I
don't believe god should be blamed for bad
things that happen to people, maybe I said
it wrong, I guess I was talking from
personal experience which isn't always the
case for others, so I apologise.
