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Q: Need Advice

asked by: nikki_caro on March 4th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Ok some of you know that before we were having problems with joses sister. Shes only 14 and he was talking to his mom last night and she said that shes been hanging around a 21 yr old guy!!! I was freaking out, I know whats on the mind of a 21 yr old man! And so jose starts yelling at her and lecturing her and I guess another guy was there and he was yelling "send him home now!!!!!!!" and I had mentioned boot camp before...Hehehe so now he wants to send her! Hahahaha but the thing is, im pretty sure shes having sex and I wanna talk to her about it and stuff, but 1. Im shy, 2. She aint my sister, only by marriage and 3. I dont wanna talk about sex! So I dont know what to do, get her condoms, or ask if she needs birth control, or maybe send a letter! How about that! Hmmm, because they are in another state, I can write a letter and send it! I dont know what else to do, but after he yelled at her, she took off and left and it was 10 at night and the mom didnt say anything! I would have dragged her back inside and grounded her! But shes staying there, I really dont want her to move out here but we might have to.....

Replies(7)

KissyBai912

replied on March 4th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Nikki, as awkward as it will be, I would say talk to her. Somebody has too. Or else she might end up a pregnant teen. Ask her if she needs to be on birth control. And ask her, that if she is sleeping with this guy, what she thinks he is doing with a 14 year old, chances are he doesn't love her like he probably says he does. Just let her know she is better off with boys her own age. (or none at all) lol. Just try to be more of a friend than an authority figure. I wish someone had been for me. Sad

babyrae

replied on March 4th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Hey!
I think sending a letter is a good idea. Explain ur intentions and tell her how u feel and why she should be practicing safe sex. I know my uncle's boyfriend (odd but he was a nice guy) sent my sister a letter and sked that only she read it. It was when she was sleepin round, doin drugs, stealin cars and such... After that letter she finally had someone in the family to talk to and it kinda eased her up a bit. Shes very good now... So I think ur idea of a letter is a good one and it will show her ur not out to get her or lecture her but ur just lookin out for her. Hope all is well!

Shauna

little_woman

replied on March 4th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

I think talking to her would be best, as she needs to hear from another lady that nothing good comes of a 14 yr old girl hanging around a 21 yr old man, and yes a letter is a good thing at least she will know someone cares about her, as her mother let her walk out of the house @ 10pm. I just hope they are not having sex (its pretty @#$! Illegal!)

insurancegirl

replied on March 5th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

nikki_caro

replied on March 5th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Ok thanks guys! I thought maybe talking to her as a friend would be good. Plus shes coming down for spring break and I hope to spend time with her and come off as a sister and someone she can confide in. Im nervous though! Lol its different in person! Haha but maybe if I share some stories about how guys are dumb and stuff then maybe she will get to talk to me better! Thanks!

JillMarie

replied on March 5th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Im in a similiar situation with vanessa (jesses sis) she is 15 and been with nearly 15 guys. I took her and got her pregnancy tests and birth control (which she woont take cause she wants a baby) I really dont know what else to do. I dont help the situation any by being pregnant cause it makes her want a baby more.

Mesmerizeu15

replied on March 5th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I think it would be a good idea to talk to her when she comes, that way she isnt acward around yu when she gets there. Love, stacie

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