I think parenting is a partnership, so of course one parent, whether it is male or female, doesn't have the right to make all of the decisions.

what about circumcision?
or spanking?
ear piercing?
abortion?
pain relief in the delivery room?

Abortion: The female's body, the female's choice. The other partner, whether male or female, (lesbians) has no say.

Pain relief: Again, the woman's body, the woman's choice. The other parter has no say in violating her spine with a needle if she doesn't want it. S/he also cannot prevent the delivering mother from getting one if its what she wants.

As for spanking and ear piercing, these are discussions that the two parents should have together and come to an agreement on.

as far as abortion goes, the father helped create the life that is in a females uterus so he doesnt have any right or say?

im not arguing or disagreeing ...just trying to get conversation started..

In my opinion, he has a right to give a suggestion, but in the end, it is not his body that is being used to carry the fetus, thus it is not his right to force the woman to make a choice she doesn't want to make. The father's rights end where the woman's body starts, and that includes her uterus and anything growing inside of it.

so if the women grows the child in her uterus and his rights stop, when do they begin again?
because we do carry a child and that child develops in us, then why does he have a right to parenting?

I think a man should have the same decision making capacity regarding being a parent that a woman does. He gets a time limit to decide, and he has to go through the court system to remove his "father" status. The woman can take this into consideration when she decides her own parental status, if she wishes.
I do not believe anyone should be forced to be a parent.

I wouldn't father a child with a man who was for circumcision, or hitting. At least, not intentionally. That's how it's going now, anyways. Ear piercing, well, that's up to discussion.

Good topic, vanessalouanne.

labour would be entirely the womans choice i would think as she is the one in pain!

everything else- the man should have a say too.

lets play the what if game..
what if the father was adamant for something you felt strongly against... like circumcision or spanking.

and as far as everything else, does the pregnancy count?
should the father have the right to say no or yes to certain prenatal tests?
should he be allowed to put his foot down when it comes to something like drinking alcohol or smoking while pregnant?
this goes back to the its a women's body.. how much right does the father have?

I think the father has the right to an opinion when it comes to something that is within my body. I will listen and make my decision. Abortion? My body, my choice. Pain meds during labor? My body my choice. I will certainly listen to his view, but make the decision.

Any decision in regards to the child once he's not attached to me should be made by both the childs parents. A mother shouldn't go get their kid's ears pierced without talking to the father, and vice versa.

I think in regards to spanking a couple should probably discuss those types of views before they conceive. If one believed in it and the other was dead set against it, that is something that will cause huge rifts within the relationship.

I think the maternal bonds between a mother and her child are much stronger than the paternal bonds between father and child. I believe hat no matter what the situation, the mother should know what it is best for her and her child, and that this instinct can do the parenting all on it's own.

Look into some history. When a baby cries, the mothers already know what the child needs, while Men need a few seconds to guess. Don't get me wrong, there are also some cases where the roles arereversed. I used to babysit a little boy who's mother had absolutely no attachment to her child, and even talked about giving him up for adoption, while the father doted on him day in and day out.

However, I just don't think there are too many cases of that. Seeing as how I have never seen much of it, just that one case.

Therefore, the mother's the one taking care of the tuerus, and once it's born- the baby! I think she should have most of the rights to what happens to her child, although she should take the father's opinion into deep consideration.

-maleyah "Babigurl"

what if you miss the chance to discuss it..
for instance a unexpected pregnancy?

i must say this is a brilliant topic that has brought out alot of double standards in me

i would tend to ultimatelty make the decisons for my child as i carried them and gave birth to them and i stay at home with them 24/7.

i know that's unfair but i'm just being honest

The fetus gets the same rights as an independent human the moment it is born. Then it's rights are its own, and the parents have equal say in what happens to it.

Why does he have a right to parent? He doesn't. Neither does the mother. Parenting is a privilege, and one that the father hopefully earned by being a nice enough person to marry. Same as the mother hopefully earned the right to bear the man's child by being kind enough to marry and for him to impregnate.

I know, me too. I feel that it's my body, so it's my decision. But then, I think that without him, there would not be a child. As far as the pain meds during labor, I feel that is definitely a woman's choice. No question.

However, when it comes to the parenting...we both will be working full time and probably spending about the same amount of time with the child, so I think it should be equal. He should have just as much say as I do.