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I Have Eating Disorder

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Ever since I can remember I've had a problem with eating disorders. At one point I got help and got better...at least for while. It wasn't until this morning I realized I really had a problem. I have been crying and bawling ever since my daughter banged on the door while I was purging. When I opened the door, there she was wearing a pair of my capris, fitting her around the waist but long enough to be pants. She is 10 and I am 30. I have 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls. My 10 year old daughter is already starting to 'watch' calories. She only weighs 57 pounds and she's watching her weight! What have I done? I hadn't even realized I started purging. I have never done this before. I was mainly anorexic and when I was bulemic I mis-used laxatives. I've just realized that I'm addicted to laxatives, clenbuterol and ipecac. I hardly ever eat and when I do I'm dousing my body with these harmful 'chemicals'. I don't know what to do. My husband doesn't know...and quite frankly I'm afraid to tell him. He won't understand. He'll tell me to stop without realizing that it's not that simple. I'm at a point where just talking isn't going to make a bit of difference. I need some serious treatment. I am at a loss but I need to get better, if not for me for my children. I cannot imagine the pain of watching one of them become like me. Where do I start? I HAVE to get help and now is not fast enough!
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replied June 27th, 2007
If you don't know the number to a treatment facility, call your local ER and ask them for a number. Or, you could ever go into the ER, and tell them your problem. They will probably admit you immediately, and set you up with a treatment facility.
Keep us posted on how you're doing.. and I'm very proud that you're taking the initiative to get yourself better =) That's a huge step.. and your children will definitely thank you for it soon enough. because they'll actually have a mother in a few days..
Congrats and good luck with everything
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replied June 28th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Hey, welcome here.

You're taking an important step, so you gotta have strengh to carry on. Do as Jess said and contact professional people who will definitely know how to help you.

Good luck and keep posting Smile
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replied July 16th, 2007
Get Help
get help because if you keep doing this your daugfhter could develope one.i developed it at 12 and i am now 14.i am underweight and malnutritioned.you need to get help for the sake of you and your kids
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replied September 20th, 2007
Hey everyone...it's been a while but I made it back. You'll be happy to know that I did some inpatient treatment and am now seeing someone as an OUT patient. I will say I am not completely cured, as I still think about food almost every second of every day and I will admit I do slip up once in a while, but I DO know and am more aware of it now. Who knows, maybe someday I'll be cured..it's what I'm working towards. It's a long road but I choose life.

For anyone else here suffering, please...if I can do it, so can you. Bulimia is second nature to me after years and years of suffering and I'm working towards a better life. I'm learning from it and taking that experience with me. You can too. I admit I'm still afraid of who I am without it, but I believe the end result is worth the effort. If you're suffering from an eating disorder, PIPE UP and let us help!!

Jess18 wrote:
If you don't know the number to a treatment facility, call your local ER and ask them for a number. Or, you could ever go into the ER, and tell them your problem. They will probably admit you immediately, and set you up with a treatment facility.
Keep us posted on how you're doing.. and I'm very proud that you're taking the initiative to get yourself better =) That's a huge step.. and your children will definitely thank you for it soon enough. because they'll actually have a mother in a few days..
Congrats and good luck with everything
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replied September 21st, 2007
Experienced User
Hi Allie,

I am so glad u are doing better, u are great, 5 kids, its a challenge. God bless u and ur family.

I have suffered almost as long as u have and am about ur age. I also do believe in recovery.

The system I have discovered myself is releasing the tension and the energy spent on ED fear comes back to u. u feel energized as a newborn. One day I said enough is enough and just had left the binge stress go, I just could not go further with this stress.

best
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