Ever since I can remember I've had a problem with eating disorders. At one point I got help and got better...at least for while. It wasn't until this morning I realized I really had a problem. I have been crying and bawling ever since my daughter banged on the door while I was purging. When I opened the door, there she was wearing a pair of my capris, fitting her around the waist but long enough to be pants. She is 10 and I am 30. I have 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls. My 10 year old daughter is already starting to 'watch' calories. She only weighs 57 pounds and she's watching her weight! What have I done? I hadn't even realized I started purging. I have never done this before. I was mainly anorexic and when I was bulemic I mis-used laxatives. I've just realized that I'm addicted to laxatives, clenbuterol and ipecac. I hardly ever eat and when I do I'm dousing my body with these harmful 'chemicals'. I don't know what to do. My husband doesn't know...and quite frankly I'm afraid to tell him. He won't understand. He'll tell me to stop without realizing that it's not that simple. I'm at a point where just talking isn't going to make a bit of difference. I need some serious treatment. I am at a loss but I need to get better, if not for me for my children. I cannot imagine the pain of watching one of them become like me. Where do I start? I HAVE to get help and now is not fast enough!