Boyfriend of 4 Years

We don't know how often he is lying or what he is lying about, so it'll be very difficult for us to give you our opinions. Either way, only you know what you want. So only you know what is right for you. Do you think it is worth it?

yeah, your gonna have to be MUCH more specific than that.. if you want honest opinions than you need to be honest about what is going on...

i dont care how offen he is lying or about what. dont have a baby with this man.you dont have trust. either find out why he is lying and put a stop to it or leave.

Well... its a long story. He has this friend Sofie who i totally hate because she is highly available and sleeps around, and there are a couple other reasons why i dont like her nor trust her and thats the main one. He went to six flags with his friends, you know a guys night out with 2 of his GUY friends, but then my best friend Maria sound of from one of my boyfriends guy friends that SOfie was there and was drunk and so was my boyfriend and his friends and they had sex... OK, so a month later Sofie ( the one my boyfriend suposedly had sex with) Randomly pulled my boyfriend aside one day and said she thought she was pregnant. Th is was a month after six flags. Ok then 3 weeks later my boyfriend graduated and hung out with his 3 friends and Sofie again. Well that night i turned off my cell phone because i was so mad at him for going out to a party with her, and the next day i found a condom in his bag.. He said His friend Ryder had put it in m boyfriends bag because he was going to have sex with his girlfriend, but Ryders girlfriend was there with me and said that she was not going to see ryder that night nor have sex with him. Weird huh? There are just so many weird things going on with her..... He has been gone for three weeks, and we just had our 4 year. I feel like all i do is worry.... My boyfriend says im crazy, and that there is nothing going on. And i say so you swear on my life you havent cheated on me or are currently cheating and he will text it to me.... and he will spell things wrong or say he tells me thats im once again being crazy.... I feel in my heart that he has cheated, my friend maria thinks he has. Other people say he would never cheat... I dont want to be hurt and he is the love of my life, but this has really hurt me emotionally... I have dreams now at night where i have dreams about him cheating and i wake up feeling like caca and believeing that he has cheated.

So what do you think? I need serious help!

If you can't trust him, then something is definitely wrong.

Thats the thing. I want to trust him... But he already lied about stuff with her before. Its all i think about. Its not just about him, its also about me, i dont want him to cheat on me, but if he did he needs to tell me, because what if she has a disease? I dont want to get it, what if its aids or something.... Its also a safety thing. I just cant trust him anymore, i try but then he does something to make me not trust him anymore. I dont know what to do anymore, all he says is that im crazy.... Even his mother says he is playing with my head.... I just dont know what to do....

I would probably leave if I were you. Wanting to trust him is not the same as being able to trust him. You're right that it's a safety issue for you at this point as well.

Thats exacally what im saying.... I guess its just to the point of when i see him now.... Thats all i can think about... and when i look at him thats all i see... I guess i just dont know what to do anymore. Thank you for your responces.

We also have a lot more relationship problems..... Here i will write it.... it might be kinda long.. sorry.

So my boyfriend and i have been together since we were really little. I met him when i was in 7th grade and he was in 8th grade. I swear i fell inlove with him imedietly. Anyways, i have been a flirt my whole life... Ive never had guy friends... And i also dont know how to act around guys because i flirt. I dont mean to, i just dont know how to act. Anyways, While the first 3 years of our relation ship i was a flirt, i would flirt with guys, give them a hug, but i never ever cheated. My boyfriend got really hurt over the years and finally said enough is enough. When i was younger i would dress in skirts and white beaters, or tank tops and shorts, and i guess i would call attension to myself... I always liked getting attension because it made me feel better about myself.

Now it wasnt just that i was a flirt, i also lied a lot without relizing i was doing it. I would lie about dumb things to. I mean i lied in March to him because i was to scared to tell him the truth. So he doesnt trust me at all.

From last summer on, he made me dress like t shirts and pants hair up no make up, i would have to look down at school so i wouldnt attract attension, and also not EVER talk to any guys because if i did we would be over. Now i dont care about not talking to guys because i have no need to and they just get me into trouble. He has all of these rules i have to follow if i want to be with him. And i love him with all my heart and soul and i will do whatever he says. But that doesnt bother me anymore im now used to acting that way.

But now he does even more, sometimes when i see my friends im not aloud to go outside because he doesnt trust me or the friend i am with. But i think it started in January, he sometimes would get mad at me and hit me or throw me or choke me. I would start to cry and he would call me a baby or something like that. but like 20mins after he did that he would then be really nice to me....

I love him so much, i let him boss me around because he has for so long im used to it now. I dont need to talk to guys because all they do is cause trouble in my life and he is right on that. I just dont like being called crazy a prostitute a female part of the body a health forum or anything like that. I dont like being hit, and when i hangout with my friends i just want to be left alone and trusted.

I have never cheated on him in my life. He has been my first in everything and i have been his first for everything, and i have such a good connection with him.... But now we fight so much, and we like dont get along.

Now i found out that he has lied to me, and i dont know what to do anymore... and then all that stuff with Sofie happend and now i dont trust him at all.

Tonight he said i lied to him, which i didnt, and he through my wallet at me and it hit me in the face and he slammed the passenger door in the car and left saying that we are over. I drove off crying.....

I just dont know what to do anymore. I love him more than anything in the world and i never want to loose him because he is such an amazing person. I dont want to talk to any men anyway anymore because they cause trouble in my life, its all the other things i cant handle.

Any advice?..... i really do need help. i dont know what to do.... I know i sound like an fool saying this, but i feel like ive been brain washed. Even his mother says he is playing mind games with me.....

oh my god!!!!!!!! imo you should leave this guy alone. no woman deserves to be hit . leave him alone before he kills you!

If all you say is true, then he is extremely abusive. He is by no means an "amazing person." He's just a lying, cheating, woman beater. You need to get out and away from him. Do whatever you need to do to get out. Tell parents, teachers, counselors, police, anyone who might be able to help you and keep you safe from him.

I was in a relationship just like yours for four years. I was too ashamed to get help. I was miserable for four years and look back on it now and see how much was wasted. I could have had fun, I could have lived without fear, I could have dated nice boys and had friends if I had just gotten help and gotten out sooner.

Its all true, i feel like im the bad one in the relationship.... He says im the "bad person of our relationship" and " its my fault that our relationship has gotten so bad" Ive only flirt, and lied... But it was because i was to scared to tell him the truth....

Thank you 4 the comments : )

[quote="Rachel-Isabel"]Ok, I wanted to have my boyfriends baby, but now im finding out he is lieing to me. Should i deal with his ***? is it even worth it? or should i move on.[/quote

My boyfriend and i have been together for three years and i too have felt so much love for him that i wanted to have his child, but my feelings for him have changed. Because he never stoped lieing to me. The first day i met him he lied to me. When i cought him i confronted him, and he only lied more. So maybe you cant totally relate but when it comes to the lieing part, i can tell you right now by my very said 3 years of experience, he will just keep on lieing. my boyfriend went above and beyond to lie to me so if you have a feeling he is lieing to you go with you gut not his well performed act. staying with someone like that changes you and not in a good way.
The only way to live life is not just to love, but to love with all your heart, and that love will come back to you. So if this guy is stupid enough to keep treating you like that you will find someone else in time and he will love you with all his heart as you will come to love him. Ok i wrote too much now bye.

hun,just read your posts and ask yourself if it's worth it!

We had a really really ect, good talk, and we are working everything out. Im not willing to give up on our relationship because we are like family and his family sees me as apart of his family. He is the love of my life. Thank you for you help.

Im going through a hard time right now with my own family and he is the only person i can rely on to help me. Me and him are going through a hard time, but we will get through it like we always do.

Thank you everyone

you guys met when you were really young, still figuring out who you are..people change..maybe the two of you have grown apart through the years but are just afraid to end the relationship since you are each others firsts...and you do NOT deserve to be hit for any reason at all what so ever...if he does it once and finds out he can get away with it..he will eventually do it again..no woman deserves to be physically or emotionally abused like that...this relationship sounds unhealthy but its up to you to make the best judgement call and if you think its worth working out and you really want to..then go for it..i personally, would NOT put up with any of that..and the suspicion would eventually drive the relationship to an end for me...trust is key to a relationship...i wish you the best of luck but dont settle for anything/anyone