just to add that my mum dresses gothic and listens to rock music- i grew up wearing trainers and blue jeans and listening to pop and hip hop

then when i turned sixteen i decided that I actually think the way my mum dresses is cool and i started to get little bits and pieces- now i am a goth too and listen to even more rock music than my mum

she never influenced me or forced it upon me- i did feel like it was 'in my blood' though

i dress my kids like every other child- in jeans pink t-shirts etc- they don't look like alternative children at all and admittedly i do play rock music around the house but as they get older they can choose what music they like.

will my children be like me or will they rebel? only time will tell....

Unfortunately many parents do force their way of life on their children. A lot of parents that are gothic would dress their kids that way and say, "oh isn't my little one so freaking cute"? Or they will say "my daughter just loves .Marilyn .Mansen".
I think dressing your child the way other children their age dress is probably the best choice. Little kids can be so cruel and tease others for really silly things. There are some really adorable .Gothic stuff out their for babies and little kids, but.....
Let them choose when they are older who they want to be, chances are if your a good parent they'll follow in your foot steps, like .Beck did her mom.
As far as music, kids are a captive audience at the mercy of whatever their parents listen to. I like rock of all forms and that's what .I listen to. I have a great appreciation for music, so .I listen to nearly everything (except twangy cryin in my beer country, eeeew). In my cd player .I have 6 cds, which are probably all over the board as to what style music they are. I hit random and let them play.
When my daughter is in the car, she is in control of what we listen to. I just think if the lyrics talk about killing, drugs, sex, and violence, you may want to make another choice. Kids are very impressionable, and .I wouldn't want my 2 year old singing about capping a cop.

It's a personal choice but i'm not going to push my way of life on .Mika. I have some very strong opinions but they are *my* opinions and not .Mika's. When i was growing up my parents listened to rod stewart and madonna and i listen to punk and hardcore and wear tutu's and corsets, deffinatley not like either of my parents So far all the clothes i've got for her are just the average clothes you see for a baby girl, but if i do happen to see a t-shirt that is the kind of thing that i might wear i'm sure i would buy it but i'm not going to dress her up as a little mini me, she can make her own descisions about music, clothes and various opinions, i'll tell her what mine are if she asks but i'm not going to say 'i don't eat meat so you can't'

I think there is a very fine line between pushing your 'way of life' and setting guidlines.

Such as dress code. I, personally, am not a conservative person. However, I will have certian 'rules' about what is exceptable for my child to wear. I don't think that is pushing a way of life, but, the rules will be different for every parent. So, that could be up for debate.

This depends entirely on the age of your child! You should not allow a 5 year old child to be the owner of his own destiny ~ firstly because he would have no idea how that will impact his life. Yet, as a responsible adult, the parent should know.

That said, I'd love my daughter to wear dresses. Does she want to? No way. So we don't buy dresses and I don't force it on her. As a teenager, I don't know what will happen, she'll obviously have the need to break away from her parents (a natural progression in every person's life!) so she'll rebel with music, etc - and that will be ok as long as it isn't a safety issue and it doesn't go against the values I think are important.

My job as her parent is to make sure she is safe and loved - but also prohibit things that aren't appropriate for someone her age, whatever her age is at the time.

i think you raise a child with your beliefs and morals but when they get to the point when they begin to question their own values you let them make their own decisions and just guide them the best that you can. for example my daughter will be raised going to church but if when shes 15 if she decides she wants to explore other options and maybe look into different religions i will encourage her because id rather have her have a strong belief in something then no belief on anything..
not to mention i think children will resent you if you push your way of thinking on them as the only way of thinking. let them find the answers for themselves.

i believe in the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child". to me that means everyone puts a little bit of their values into that child's life. for instance:

My fiance' is Wiccan, I have no religion, My Mother is Christian/Spiritualist, and my Father is Catholic. So, for my soon to be child there will be alot of different points of views going into his choices and he will have guidance no matter his religious choice. Also, we all have different views on sexual gender preference... where as i and my fiance' are bisexual and see homosexuality as completely acceptable and a blessing just as is heterosexuality. my parents are Heterosexual but still quite open with bi/homosexuality. His Parents are homophobic and probably wouldn't accept our child as their own blood. but we still hold firm that this child will be loved with or without them involved.

so views will be imposed upon our child, but it will be his choice as to what views adhere.

I try very hard to be neutral and give many sides of an issue to my five year old. But I also insist that she know the truth. She asks some very tough questions now.

"Mom, aren't you going to get into trouble if you don't pray?" This is the direct influence of her very kind but very fanatically baptist babysitter. I think of them as grandparents, but they definitely propse ideas to my child that I don't agree with. I tell her everone has a different way of "praying" and that people can pray the way that best serves them.

"Mom, does Jesus love you?" No, honey, Jesus is no longer living and cannot love people the way you or I can. he was a very good person, though and tried to teach people to love each other.

"Mom, why does everyone hate George Bush?" Not everyone hates George Bush, but some people think he is doing some things wrong, like sending soldiers to a war that they don't think we should be fighting.

"Mom, did Charlie go to heaven?" I don't know, what do you think? "I think that everyones' soul turns into clouds and when they pass overhead, they are reminding you to think about them".

Obviously, I have much stronger opinions, but I try to temper them so that I am not just "brainwashing" my child. We are vegetarian, but i tell her she can eat meat if she wants to, I'm not going to cook it. I also have told her that meat is made from cows, and when she sees one, she reminds herself why she doesn't eat meat. My hope is that if I tell her why we do or don't do things, she will come up with doing things the way I think is best, but on her own terms. if she doesn't, at least I tried my best. I would rather she be her own person, whoever that is, than just a clone of myself.