Hi Morton65,
I'm sorry to hear that your pain has gotten worse. I'm not surprised to read that you were diagnosed with mono. Somehow, mono and TMJ have been linked, but I have no idea why. I know that when I am in pain, I am exhausted all the time with swollen glands. That seems to be a common complaint.
I'm also not surprised to hear that your TMJ symptoms got worse after you had a lot of dental work done. Keeping your mouth open wide for a period of time can over-stretch the ligaments that work with the disc and even displace the disc. Also, another strange common problem I read about is root canals and increased TMJ symptoms. I haven't had any big problems there but it is extremely important for the dentist to make sure that the remaining tooth/crown fits into your bite. If just a little bit off, it will cause havoc.
Regarding our diet - I do know that we TMJ sufferers should not have any caffeine. No caffeine! I have eliminated both caffeine and most processed sugars this past year from my diet. My TMJ has been doing well, but I also made a lot of other changes so can't say how much the diet helps. I do feel healthier, tho. I never really think much about salt other than using as little as possible because it can affect the blood pressure.
Braces. That is a hard decision. I personally think you are right in that if the bite splint isn't eliminating the pain, how is permanently changing your bite going to help? You might want to consider going to a different TMJ specialist (even more than one) to get their ideas, etc. I have been impressed with Functional Jaw Orthotics which start out with bite splints. Phase II can include braces but other bite corrective measures also. Neuromuscular dentistry is also very helpful. You might want to do some research on these and see if you can find these types of dentists and make appointments with each kind.
I can't imagine having TMJ and starting a family. Estrogen affects TMJ, but I haven't gotten that cleared up in my head yet as to the hows and whys, etc. I think you are wise to try and resolve your TMJ issues (or at least get some control over the pain). Good exercise should be good for your TMJ and body as long as you don't put undue stress on the TMJ joints. Doesn't exercise help our bodies become more pain tolerant? When you jog or weight lift, you might want to wear your bite splint so your teeth never come together.
It doesn't sound like you have rushed into anything too quickly yet. Bite splints are a very good, effective (reversible if necessary) treatment plan. It's the next step that can be difficult. I hope and pray that you will find that next step.
God bless...
Carol