Our relationship has been off and on almost since the beginning... We were going out for a year and suddenly she calls me and said that she didn't want to be with me... It was one of those out of nowhere things for me.... I found out much later that there was another person involved.... and that there were others while we were dating... This typ of behaviour has continued throughout our relationship. She would leave go to somebody else.. come back and I would take her back every time cause I love her.. and her point that always helped me justify it was "we were over mike" That might explain my lack of trust.. It doesn't make it right.. but it is what it is....

Now... a typical day.... I get up.. go to work... we email each other throughout the day.. jokes... bs... and even somtimes romantic stuff... flirting.. that type of thing.. Weeta is a huge email flirt... anyway.. I leave.. go get the kids.... come home... on the way home.. I call her to tell her that kids are ok... whatever.... I start dinner.... do some laundry sometimes.. sometimes not. Weeta gets home.... Dinner isn't quite done but its close.... I get "I'm starving hurry up"... she hugs the kids.... and goes in our bedroom. every once in a while she helps with dinner. In the bedroom she will randomly yell things like... "isn't it done yet" or "where is nanna" "are you watching her??" If I reprimand the kids"she wants to know why and will critique how I did it.. no matter how little or large the punishment was. I get dinner on the table for the kids.. and she want to eat in bed again.. I bring her a plate and something to drink... "are you doing laundry" if I didn't "why not?".... a big roll of the eyes. If I try to hug her "get off me" I eat... I clean up dinner....I get the kids ready for bed... and they go to bed... getting up 5 times for water or potty or whatever... everytime they get up, "Deal with that". Go to sleep.. go to kiss her goodnight "GET AWAY FROM ME"

This.. is a good day.

On a bad day.. I get an email at work saying things aren't working... She comes home and complains how I didn't do anything (as I'm folding clothes) She tells me how dead she is inside... "medical question you mike" "I hate you Mike" "Your PATHETIC MIKE"...

Any wonder why I'm a bit insecure yet.... A description of this doesn't even do it justice....

2 to 3 weeks now she tells me she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

This has been a progressive thing. I HAVE NOT HELPED.. but I didn't understand.. and I am a defensive person... I have said things in the past that have been hurtful...But you deal with this... and see what you end up saying... do you really think I dont regret every bad thing I've said....

Bi polar II is a smaller version of bi polar disease... the highs are less high and less frequent.. the lows more frequent but less low. another HUGE issue is the fact that people with this disorder have a very hard time forgiving... Lequitta is still as angry as the day it happened when my mom locked her out of the house and I didn't go out. I stayed and talked to my mom. Why... cause I was trying to close things out before I left... It was a POOR choice by me. I have applogized over and over again.... but she will never let it go... "I see red" she sais. Now you could say that is a "woman" trait.. but... she is still as mad as the day it happened.. maybe more...

When her dad died and I didn't want her to go to ari cause we were short on money... I was wrong.... but it will never go away for her...

every time she hurt me... I was wrong... I drove her away... she said sorry.. but Its not a "I am soo sorry".. is was a "sorry... and if thats not good enough... tough"

And through all of this... I still love her.. still want to be with her.. still need her... she sais I'm "obsesive" what she doesn't realize is I'm IN LOVE. She doesn't realize it because she isn't able to feel it... as the disorder progresses it becomes worse. and it has.

Now that I'm reading all of this... its so clear.....

Look... She may be fine.. she may not be... Like I said.. saving our marrage is secondary at this point... She needs help.