Working Mothers Vs Stay-at-home Moms (Page 1)

I think this is a double edged sword.

I am a working parent. I have to be. I own my home (or the bank and .I do). It's expensive to live and .I like to have nice cars, clothes, and .I like to have money. Even with 2 incomes, we sometimes struggle financially.
If .I could stay home and know that my bills would be paid, even if .I had to cut more corners, I would. I absolutely love being at home with my baby! I had to work when my daughter was young too. There were so many firsts that .I had to miss. I did my best to be there when .I could, but .I missed so much that .I can never get back.

yeah, i don't think either one is better than the other. if you can afford to stay home with your baby then great!

but my mom has worked 2 jobs my whole life pretty much and has taught me that i have to work for what i want and she's taught me how to be strong in doing so, so i look up to her for that

agreed.. if you have the means to stay home with the baby then awesome but thats usually unrealistic. as long as you make time for your child and provide good care for them then you do what you have to do.

i don't really have an opinion because i know people *have* to work.

i like to believe that all mothers would love to stay home if they could.

i'm lucky enough that i can stay home, but we've made a lot of sacrifices so i could. i'll be honest, it's a huge struggle, but i wouldn't have it any other way.

Some prefer to go back to work, some would love to stay at home but cant. i don't think one is better than the other. I consider my self to be lucky in the aspect that I did have a parent stay home with us. as long as the children are cared for and know that thier parents love them that is what matters most.

the only thing i have issue with is parents who pawn off thier kids to whom ever, spoil them rotten and not teach them respect. They treat them like a status symbol as well as a burden. its just sad.

i would love to stay home while my child is really young but i know i probably won't have that choice. my parental benefits will run out before the baby is a year old and i don't think we can survive on one income for long after that. we are already making sacrifices as it is to afford this baby so it wouldn't be fair for me to expect my partner to be the only breadwinner in the family when i'm perfectly capable of making money too. i will do my best to be at home with my family as much as possible but, realistically, it's just not an option at this point to be full-time, stay at home mom. i think we should support women in their decision to work or to stay at home because parenting is hard work and most moms are doing what they think is best for their family. a lot of us don't have much choice in the matter.

I only work on Saturdays (and then only for a few hours teaching piano) but I wish that I didn't even have to do that.

My desire is to stay home with my baby. I know that some moms have to work and that doesn't bother me. What does bother me is whenever I see moms that want to go back to work as soon as possible and say that they go crazy being home all the time. If you don't have to work you should definatly stay home with your kids. That's my opinion I guess.

We could never make it off one income. I will have no choice but to work, and i will be working up until my water breaks unless i'm given other instructions from the doc. I'm finding it very hard to even get by on the two incomes we have now. I have offered to give up my car for a cheaper one, but i don't know if i can do that. I might be stuck with it. But i'm trying my best just never seems to be enough.

neither is better.







i dont have to work. we could make it just on my husbands paycheck. but i want to work.

Giving up a full time job and learning to stretch a buck is hard, but if you can and want to do it you will.

I think it's good to stay at home to a point; (like about nine years old).

They've developed their personalities and are stable in most aspects of daily life.

I have stayed at home too long and my two oldest are undiscipled and lazy. While I still have to keep tabs on my 9 year old the two oldest still expect me to cater to them.

The "Terrible 2's" is nothing compared to when they become teenagers!

As people say, "enjoy them, before you know it they're grown up!". "It's true"!

Common sense and a lot of patience is what it takes at any stage.

And lots of love!

Which it sounds like you already have!

Good luck!

Some stay at home mothers think that anyone can do it if they "buckle down" enough. This is certainly not true. Some people can not get medical insurance if they don't work at a job that provides. There are people who fall in the "tough luck" category. There significant other makes too much money money to qualify for state insurance but yet they can't afford the $600 or more a month to get private insurance. Anything on your medical record makes that figure go up higher. Some people will say sell your home. Some people don't have a home, are renting and still struggle month to month. They cut out all expenses including cable, buy the cheapest brands, shop at used clothing stores and go to garage sales. They have extremely old cars and still struggle. We are among those people. We are educated (15 years of college between the two of us). When we lived in WA state and even AZ, I couldn't stay home. The cost of living in western WA state was such that not even households making the above average medium income for the country could make it on one income unless they bought a house five or more years ago. Even renting an apt was spendy in most places. In AZ we had other unique circumstances that made it impossible. I am happy I only have to work part time now. Moving to Idaho made that possible. Not everyone has the option to move either.

My son was in full time daycare since he was 3 months. What has affected him the most was the constant changing of daycares after his first daycare provider stopped watching kids at age one. After that, we went through horrible experiences. That truly affected him. We then moved several times due to some other unique circumstances which affected him even more. He went to the same wonderful place last year for one for year. He started to make huge strides again. Then we moved and he regressed emotionally again.

I strongly believe that if you need to work or choose to work, you really need to find a consistent and loving caregiver to watch your child during the day. The first three years of life, children learn "trust vs mistrust." If children do not learn to adequately bond to their caregiver then some issues of attachment could occur. I don't believe that complete attachment disorder can occur if the primary caregivers (mom and dad, usually) still provide love to their child.

I believe through my child's experiences, he did start to develop minor attachment issues. We provided him with so much love, but I worked very long hours and he was not in a stable, consistent environment for a long period of time after the first caregiver.

The issue between parents who work outside the home and parents who work solely inside the home will continue to be an on-going debate. The biggest issue is quality time spent with your kids. There are many full time working parents who spend a lot of quality time yet there are a lot of full time stay at home parents who don't at all.

I am happy I will be working part time in a few months. I believe this is the best of both worlds for me and my children. My older child (still expecting #2) is a very social child so he gets to spend some time away from me, I will get adult interaction and work at a job I like, and I will be making some needed money. I am a much better mom when I am at least working a little because it helps me organize my time and really spend some quality time with my child(ren). Everyone benefits.

amen karin. I couldnt agree with you more.

not to mention what about single moms who dont have that option available to them?

whether it's a choice or not it just seems odd that women still have to defend it. my mom's generation were proud to say that they had the right to choose whether they worked or not. they had to fight for that right but it seems like we still have to defend our choices. i had a single mom and i am still amazed by how much she accomplished while raising 4 kids (sometimes 5). i give a lot of credit to women who are able to balance a career and motherhood because they are both a lot of work.

neither is better. Aslong as you are a good mother to your child/ren then that's all that matters

I have been a working single mom with my first child I worked over 13 hours a day and only saw her in morning when i dropped her off at first sitter (she had 3 a day ) and she was sleeping and at night again when she was sleeping. It was verry hard and i feel personally for me that i missed alot of her important milestones in the beginning . now with my 2 and 3 i am a stay at home married mom for about 5 years now and i love it it is still verry hard $$$ wise my dh is an over the road truckdriver so still seams like i am single mom again but i am here for every milestone.
but i also am a work -stayat home mom i babysit to make a little extra $$ AND AM A (sorry caps button stuck) independent avon rep. It is hard either way and i do not think moms should be penalized or put down for there choices of stay at home or working moms.