|What does bother me is whenever I see moms that want to go back to work as soon as possible and say that they go crazy being home all the time.|
|Some stay at home mothers think that anyone can do it if they "buckle down" enough. This is certainly not true. Some people can not get medical insurance if they don't work at a job that provides. There are people who fall in the "tough luck" category. There significant other makes too much money money to qualify for state insurance but yet they can't afford the $600 or more a month to get private insurance. Anything on your medical record makes that figure go up higher. Some people will say sell your home. Some people don't have a home, are renting and still struggle month to month. They cut out all expenses including cable, buy the cheapest brands, shop at used clothing stores and go to garage sales. They have extremely old cars and still struggle. We are among those people. We are educated (15 years of college between the two of us). When we lived in WA state and even AZ, I couldn't stay home. The cost of living in western WA state was such that not even households making the above average medium income for the country could make it on one income unless they bought a house five or more years ago. Even renting an apt was spendy in most places. In AZ we had other unique circumstances that made it impossible. I am happy I only have to work part time now. Moving to Idaho made that possible. Not everyone has the option to move either.
My son was in full time daycare since he was 3 months. What has affected him the most was the constant changing of daycares after his first daycare provider stopped watching kids at age one. After that, we went through horrible experiences. That truly affected him. We then moved several times due to some other unique circumstances which affected him even more. He went to the same wonderful place last year for one for year. He started to make huge strides again. Then we moved and he regressed emotionally again.
I strongly believe that if you need to work or choose to work, you really need to find a consistent and loving caregiver to watch your child during the day. The first three years of life, children learn "trust vs mistrust." If children do not learn to adequately bond to their caregiver then some issues of attachment could occur. I don't believe that complete attachment disorder can occur if the primary caregivers (mom and dad, usually) still provide love to their child.
I believe through my child's experiences, he did start to develop minor attachment issues. We provided him with so much love, but I worked very long hours and he was not in a stable, consistent environment for a long period of time after the first caregiver.
The issue between parents who work outside the home and parents who work solely inside the home will continue to be an on-going debate. The biggest issue is quality time spent with your kids. There are many full time working parents who spend a lot of quality time yet there are a lot of full time stay at home parents who don't at all.
I am happy I will be working part time in a few months. I believe this is the best of both worlds for me and my children. My older child (still expecting #2) is a very social child so he gets to spend some time away from me, I will get adult interaction and work at a job I like, and I will be making some needed money. I am a much better mom when I am at least working a little because it helps me organize my time and really spend some quality time with my child(ren). Everyone benefits.