well... i don't really know how much those things would hurt your baby, i'm sure someone on here could answer that part though.

but if you really want this baby then i think you can make it work. are you afraid that you can't afford it? do you have a job? you could apply for some sort of benefits to help you out if you really want to have this baby. there's wic to help you with formula and other foods as the baby gets older like juice and cheese and milk, ect. im not sure what else, im just giving you some of the facts, because you sound like you're resting on the fence here.

but if you do have an abortion, i hope your parents come around. i can't imagine making my daughter go through that alone.

i think you should think it through a little more, 3 days isn't really that long... and you don't seem very convinced on what you want to do. good luck and keep us posted please!

It sounds like you already know the answer, but you want to hear other people say that you are not a bad person to think this way. Well, I will tell you, you are not a bad person for thinking this way.

In regard to your fear for fetal abnormalities-The literature is out on the effects of these drugs on sperm and chromosomal abnormalities, but it would appear from the literature that .L.S.D. causes more chromosomal changes than do other drugs. there is not much evidence in regard to methamphetamine use by the father and subsequent fetal abnormality. Codeine, Vicodin, and Percocet, although not ideal, do not cause a tremendous amount of harm to a developing fetus. I would think your greatest concern would be for the anesthsia used during your tonsillectomy. If you truly want to know whether or not you fetus suffered any harm, you might consider consulting an obstetrical care provider, midwife, or your local planned parenthood clinic for better information than I can provide you with on a health forum.

I am sorry for the stance your parents have taken inregard to this issue, and I can understand how stressful that must be for you. I can tell you as a parent that raising children is very difficult, and although it is rewarding in the long run, it is still difficult, even under the best financial, social, and family situatioins. Quite frankly, I just don't know how single moms do it, and my hat goes off to them.

So my advice is go and speak with a planned parenthood counselor about your cocerns, your medication use and your surgery, the father's drug use, find out what the issues are, the pro's and con's, and go from there.

Best of luck to you, and remember, you are certainly not a bad person for looking at your situation realistically.

You're right that the baby certainly might have something wrong with it. It is not a guarantee, however.

If you want to have one night stands, fine, but definitely make sure you use protection in the future, not just for pregnancy but also for STDs. Have you been checked for STDs since then?

If you have no money, having a baby would be very difficult. Not impossible, but certainly difficult. It sounds like you might not be able to give the baby everything it deserves right now. If you really want to try to have this baby, however, you could always look into what services you could get. You might be able to make use of things like Planned Parenthood, WIC, or welfare.

Either way, you have a tough decision to make, and it will be a little bit of gamble either way. You know more about your life, so you'll be able to make this decision better than we can. Think about what is the most realistic option for you. Think about all the things the baby would need and whether you could provide those things. Think about whether you would be able to care for a child if the child had a serious health issue or learning disability.

My advice is to get to a doctor asap and see if you can get an ultrasound. They may be able to tell you if your baby has any abnormalities from that (although the foetal anomaly scan is usually done at 20 weeks in this country, I'm not sure about where you are) and you will have a better understanding of what you are dealing with.

Oy vey, I'm sorry about your situation.

Your parents sound like awful, crappy people, so why would you do anything to please them?

If I were you, I'd hike it to a doctor, who can tell you exactly what you're dealing with.

As far as having the baby and being happy...do you mean "keeping" the baby and being happy? Because I think you could have it, and adopt it, and be happy. It's a compromise that might work for you.

If I were you, after going to the doctor, I would emancipate myself from these awful parents, move out (if you haven't already done so), get a job, get hooked up with social services, and live my life the way I wanted to, regardless of if I kept the baby or not.

I know it sounds hard, but I did the same thing at your age, minus the pregnancy aspect. I am much happier and healthier. You can do it!!!

You already cannot afford a baby unless you go on welfare/ssi/wic/public assistance, and even in that case, you still can't afford a baby because you're making everyone else pay for it. Your parents might soften up a little bit (most do), but if you already have a bad relationship with them, I tihnk the chance of them following through with their word would be a bit higher than normal. I also don't think the baby daddy is going to be showing up to deal with his kid, either...besides, would you really want a drug addict caring for your child? Considering the drugs he put in him, I'm shocked you conceived his child - drugs like meth and cocaine damage sperm quite a bit.

As far as the drugs/meds the fetus has been exposed to, the least that could happen is your child could end up addicted to any of the drugs you mentioned (codeine, vicodin, etc.) The anesthesia could have caused problems as well (as previously mentioned in another post); it could easily have decreased blood and oxygen flow to the fetus while you were under, which could cause any number of problems for the fetus (I'm sure you know that oxygen deprivation, even for short periods of time, can cause neurological damage). I would venture to guess that, due to daddy's drug use, he was probably producing abnormal sperm - and if one of the messed-up ones is what caused the conception, this can also cause problems in the fetus.

Reiterating llewellyn, have you been checked for STDs? If you have a venereal disease, you could easily pass it to your child during birth. What if your child is born with a defect of some sort - something that may not be the result of the exposure to the drugs? If you already can't afford a normal, healthy baby, how could you afford to care for a child with a weak heart, down's symdrome, or mental disabilities? Pregnancy - even when you do everything right - is like spinning a roulette wheel. Even if you're extra-careful about how you treat your body, you could still end up with a screwed-up infant.

It really does not sound like it's a good time in your life to be having a baby - even if you direly want to have the child, love alone doesn't pay for diapers, formula, doctor visits, daycare, school, and so forth. You definitely must consider the child's needs first - wanting a baby and having the ability (especially financial) to properly care for it are two different things, and it sounds like you do not have the latter of the two.

If you are dead-set against abortion, I strongly suggest considering adoption so, in the event you still can't afford a child by the end of your pregnancy, you can give it a chance at a happy, healthy life with people who can afford to care for it. Doing so would not make you a bad person - in fact, I think it would be far more benevolent to give a child away so it could possibly get adopted than to keep it and let it be neglected when you know you can't afford it.

I have had 3 abortions, my BC method failed...

Why not have an abortion? Only if you do not want one.

I am quite shocked that they performed surgery on you without first doing a pregnancy test. Here in the states, it is mandatory for any woman of childbearing age to have a pregnancy test before they put you under. If they did a pregnancy test and it was negative, you probably not far enough along for their to be any lasting damage. If that were the case you probably would have miscarried shortly after (that is a common occurrence). The morning after pill will not effect the health of an embryo. As for the meds that you were on, though they are not ideal, they can be prescribed in pregnancy if the benefits out way the risks. The only way to know if there is any damage to the baby is to have a sonogram. I'm not sure where you are, but many of the abortion clinics in my area (fl) do a sonogram before an abortion anyways.

You are in a difficult position. You really need to think through all of your options. The fact that you are here asking us, leads me to believe that you have doubts. I suggest that if you have any doubts not to do it. Adoption may be an option.

Regardless of your choice, you need to go to a doctor. If you decide to keep the child you should be under a dr care now. And if you are going to terminate, you still need to be under a dr's care.

Are you sure of how far along you are?

My advice? Ignore the people in your face. They aren't you, they don't know what it is like to be you.

What is obvious here is that you are in no position to care for a baby. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that and acting based on that fact.

If you want to keep the pregnancy and parent the resulting child, then that is what you should do. Since this is your body and your life, it's your choice to make and no one else can tell you what to do.

People have been getting pregnant accidentally for a very, very long time. Most people who are even alive today are here because they were an accident. There are only very few of us who were planned. And, .women have been having and raising children alone since time began. Sucks, but very, very true.

If you really want to keep the pregnancy and become a parent, then you will find a way to do so. It won't be easy and you may not have the kind of life that you dreamed you would have when you got older. You may have to work very, very hard everyday for the rest of your life just to make it work but if that's what you truly want, because that's what it sounds like you want, then the act of surviving and of living with your decision will more than likely instill in you pride and contentment. Probably not day to day but certainly when you look back on it. Women have been able to do this for centuries and you can too if it's what you really, really want.

Why shouldn't you have an abortion? .because .y.o.u don't want to. That's really all the justification that you need.

Whatever you decide to do, you need to seek medical care immediately and tell them what you have posted here. You can still have a healthy pregnancy, if that's what you want, if you follow the doctor's directions.

You said that rehab has helped the "father," would it be possible for him to pay you child support or to be more involved? What about his parents and family? Don't put yourself in a position of depending on child support, but it is an option if you can make it stick. Other than that, there is temporary assistance to needy families which will give you cash allotments once you give birth, I believe, but they do have a time limit on them so you can only get them for so long before you have to find actual work. You should be able to find subsidized daycare. Medicare will pay for your pregnancy, you might want to save up a little bit of money to pay for an epidural since medicare, in certain states, does not cover the cost of pain relievers for childbirth. As has been posted, after the birth .w.i.c will be available to you as well as food stamps.

Do you have any plans to continue your education? If you look long and hard enough, you may be able to find scholarships or special grants for people with children. If you can't find any, student loans are always an option. You need to have an education if you choose to keep the pregnancy and want any kind of decent standard of living in the future for you and your child. You can most likely get your nursing degree in 2 years, if that appeals to you, and nurses these days make excellent money.

It would be ideal, should you choose to keep the pregnancy, to try and work out the differences you have with your parents. I understand that sometimes that is not possible but if you haven't truly tried to yet, you may want to consider giving it a chance. It would be best if you could continue living with them and have them supporting you while you get an education.

Not to put anymore pressure on you than you are already feeling but if you do think you must have an abortion, if you can find no viable alternative, then depending on your state you are fast approaching some very real legal deadlines. You need to check your state's requirements should you choose an abortion.

A lot of people have been in your position and have found ways to make it work. If it's what you really want to do, you can too.

Best of luck and keep us posted!
Peace,
Jenn