You didn’t describe how your husband was abusing you. Sexual abuse in marriage is often very difficult to prove. However, when you talk about these incomplete memories and abuse in the past it seems likely that your husband’s behavior awakened older, suppressed memories in you. Maybe your husband wasn’t as abusive as you perceived. Perhaps you were sexually abused during childhood but your mind forgot that by suppressing the memory in the subconsciousness (psychogenic amnesia).

Memory of psycho-emotional suffering can't be erased completely. Suppressed memories will find their way to be expressed by creating associations in the present or via nightmares. People that experience sexual suffering during childhood have difficulties in sustaining strong relationship with members of the opposite sex. It seems that this might be the cause of the problem. If so, you'll need expert help from a mental health professional.