Hello. Congrats on breeding.

It's obvious that women think about their decision ahead of time, why would you say that? Reading in between your lines here, and I do so humbly apologize if I'm offbase, but one would think that you might be implying that if women thought "before performing this choice" ahead of time, they might choose otherwise?

Maybe?

Eh?

And why should they think about how the decision (to have an abortion) will affect the pple around them? Are "the people around them" going to take care of said baby and/or said pregnant woman?

I always advocate making the decision based on exactly what you want, not any other person. It goes both ways, too; boyfriend wants abortion, girlfriend doesn't, do what she wants. If she took into consideration what he wants, she might end up doing something she regrets.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend makes you feel guilty about your thoughts in the beginning of your pregnancy. He has no idea what you were feeling.

she is a doll.. Thank you for not killing her!! some women NEVER get over the fact that they took a life of a child. Do not think bad of yourself for thinking about aborting her. You did not do it and that is all that counts.. Thanks for toughen up!

I agree with your statements about choice, but this kind of made me raise an eyebrow:



Why should a woman think about how her decision will affect others around her if she gets an abortion? If she's a teen knocked up from prom night and still living with Mommy and Daddy (and will most likely be mooching off their wallets to care for Junior because Mickey D's doesn't pay a six-figure salary), then I could understand why she would need to think about 'people around her' if she planned on keeping it. But why should other people be taken into consideration in terms of abortion? It's the woman's choice alone, and if someone doesn't like her choice, why should that make a difference?

I'm sorry your boyfriend was such a jerk to you - sorry, but men have no business telling women what to do with their bodies. They never have and never will know how burdensome pregnancy is, even if the child is wanted. It's really easy for them to say they're against abortion because they'll never find themselves in a situation where they might need one. Regardless of your choice, your boyfriend deserves a smack across the head for guilt-tripping you.

Well what I was tryin to say is that...when I was pregnant and wanted the abortion, I knew that it would affect the ppl around me like my family and friends. I know that these ppl would want to take care of my baby if I didnt want it. Also I know it would've affected my b/f even more b/c he wanted the baby. I've thought about what it would've done. My friends who are against abortion would've hated me...my b/f would've prolly fell into a deep depression...my family would've been upset but not disappointed if I made that decision. I did what I wanted. I wanted to have the baby and i did. She turned out wonderful. But still women have the right to make their own decisions. If they decide right in the beginning of the pregnancy that they want an abortion, I'd think it over for a few weeks. I wouldn't just go out and get it over with just a day after the decision was made. Women should feel comfortable with whatever decision they make and not feel regret for whatever the decision is.

I just tried to explain this more to another person.

You are lucky that there were people around you who would have been willing to care for the baby if you didn't want it. Most women don't have that, so "thinking about the people around them" involves not wanting to place the burden of a baby on them, because the people don't want the baby.

if what grows inside the woman is half the flesh of the man he should definetly have a say.

My thoughts on abortion is that I feel that women should have a choice but they should think their decision over before moving ahead to perform this choice. Also think about how the decision will affect the ppl around them.[/quote]


You are so right in what you said '...they should think their decision over before moving ahead to perform this choice.'
I know of many women who are having all kinds of problems because they DID abort their babies. Many abortion clinics misinform these girls/women, by such statements such as, 'the abortion doesn't hurt'; 'it's not a baby yet...just a blob of tissue'; etc. The clinics tell them that if they have the abortion, no one will ever have to know. But what they don't tell them is of the post-abortion syndrome that many women suffer for years. Many begin a cycle of self-abuse, mood-swings, anger, low self-esteem, etc.

If a person does the medical research, they will discover that these tiny babies ARE babies at just a few weeks old. Some of these women who have had abortions have seen their baby as it was being sucked from it's safety of the mother's uterus. All I'm saying is...think it over very long and hard and make sure you've been given ALL the facts...pro and con.

Personally, I believe you will be blessed because you chose life for your little girl.

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. And i agree with what you mentioned about post abortion syndrome.

I just wanted to add thatI'm a 20 year old mother...I'll be turning 21 in July. I may sound pathetic but I am not financially stable at all b/c i have not worked a day in my life. i'm a college student right now tryin to finish up my last few years of college so i can begin providing for my daughter. So, my family gives me money to buy clothes, formula, diapers, etc. for her. So I had to think about my family...cuz they always give me money when i need it and i dont need it.

Men should at least have a say in this situation b/c it is their baby also not just the woman's. Just b/c men should have a say doesnt mean that you cant do what you want. At least listen.

So you would support a man who coerces his partner into keeping an unwanted child? On the same level, would you support a man who makes his partner abort a child she wants? Giving men a say in things as personal as abortion would open up that door of women being property that was closed on American soil a long time ago.

I agree with what you are saying about being concerned with the people around you. I can understand why your boyfriends opinion on the situation would affect your decision. I think that if I was in that situation, I would have to take in the opinion of my husband, because the ultimate decision affects his life as well as mine. In the end it is the womans decision, but it makes sense to be concerned with what your partner wants as well.

Have you ever heard of post partum depression? How about post partum psychosis? Ever heard of infanticide? How about teenage girls giving birth in the bathroom so nobody finds out? Don't you think that people ought to counseled on these things before they proceed with an unwanted pregnancy? Why would you insist that people who wish to abort be "counseled" on all of these things when people who don't want to abort are not counseled about the negative aspects? Why aren't expectant mothers warned about what could happen if the placenta decides to bring her external organs outside of her body along with it? Why aren't they warned about the dangers of pre-eclmpsia and eclampsia? Why don't we show them photographs of what it will mean to have a screaming toddler running around the house destroying everything in his path? Why don't we show her graphic photos of perineal tears and explain to her how she won't be able to jump or sneeze without crossing her legs, because she might wet her pants in the grocery store? Why don't we show her graphic video of women dying in childbirth and then look at her very seriously, and say "now, are you absolutely sure you want to do this? There aere a lot of complications. your life will never be the same again. You could die. The baby might die, be deformed, etc. Are you absolutely sure???" Furthermore, the people around you, as was stated earlier, are not going to have to give birth to this child and face all the repurcussions and health risks related to said pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I understand taking into account the wishes of one's partner when making such a decision, but it is a woman's body. Nobody should force a woman to embark on such a task without her wanting to. Would you force someone to climb Mount Everest against their will? Because carrying a child requires the same human effort as a summit bid on Mount Everest.

Thank you...that was the point i was tryin to get at.

i too contemplated an abortion with my first pregnancy as i didn't feel ready and was scared. in the end i decided not too. after the birth i fell into really bad ppd and i constantly regretted not having an abortion.

i blamed everyone around me for not letting me get an abortion. i sent my daughter to go and live with my grandparents at the other side of the country for two weeks. after a week they asked me to go and get her. i cried my eyes out and they thought it was happiness but it was cause i didn't want her back.

my husband took her to his house (we lived seperate at the time) while i tried to 'sort myself out' and eventually i just sort of learned to live with the fact that i was a mother.

now i love my babies more than anything and had three children in under three years.

what i am tyring to say i guess is that sometimes an abortion is for the best. i was very depressed during my pregnancy and i guess this was a sign for things to come. i don't think anyone should have to 'just live with it' especially if they were using contraception like me

Does he get "a say" in her diet? Her living habits? etc...

That's a can of worms I'd rather stay shut, considering the patriarchal nature of our society to begin with.

I advocate men's choice in regards to parenting 100%, but not in regards to pregnancy decisions.

Thank you so much for sharing that! I think all too often people expect mothers to be glowing with love and adoration for their newborn, and sometimes it just isn't the way things really are. I am so glad you were able to make it out of that scary mess. We should talk some time