Last Sat I spotted all day. Some pink blood, some brown and then some pink. No cramping at all. Went to the ER that night and they told me that there was no heartbeat. I was 11 weeks along, but the baby died some time during the last week because the u/s aged it at 10 weeks. I now have to have a D&C done tomorrow. I had to see my dr and they did another u/s and this time I got to see the baby and I was hoping that the ER doctors were wrong. I was wishing for that heart to beat. Some sign that this little life that shouldn't have been was and now was no longer. For you see I had just finished cancer treatments last Sept and the dr told us that we couldn't have anymore children. I have 4 and thought at the time that 4 was fine but when this happened we were shocked and surprised. I had a year and a half of preparing myself that there would be no more little feet running in my house and then there it was. Now to find out that it won't be is just killing me. My Dh is trying to keep it logical, that there was a good reason it died and that it was for the best, but that is all I hear. I feel that I have failed as a mother, that I couldn't do what all mothers do, keep their children safe so they can grow. I am 33 years old and don't know if we will have any more. SO very happy for the 4 that I have. This is my 3 loss and this is the one that hurts the most.