I'm in a bit of a sticky situation. I have
been with my girlfriend for almost three
years now. I love her to death and I do
plan on marrying her in the near future. I
wouldn't say I have a porn addiction, but
on occasion I would look at it and
masturbate. Not a daily thing, I wasn't
one of those people who spent thousands of
dollars on it. I kept this fact from her
because previously she had said she was
disgusted by it and would be upset if I
watched it. Being the jerk that I am, I
kept doing it and kept her in the dark.
The other day, she found something on the
computer and confronted me about it, I
came clean.
She is really upset and hurt about it and
she told me she thinks that I don't love
her and aren't attracted to her anymore,
which isn't true at all. I know I should
have respected what she said about and I
should have been honest from the
beginning...jerk move on my part. I
screwed up. But do you think she wil get
over it? Any other guys on here, what do
your girlfriends think about porn, or
girls, how do you feel if you find out
your boyfriend was watching it? I just
don't want to lose her and am willing to
do anything to make it right. One of my
friends told me she is overreacting. I
don't know if I believe him and I wouldn't
ever say that to her. Any advice is
appreciated. Thanks.
p.s. Sorry If I posted this in the wrong
place, not sure where else I could put it.
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2700
Thanks: 6
Thanked:1
Posted: 06-19-07 10:55am
I personally don't have a problem with
porn. I like to watch it, and so does my
husband. sometimes we watch together.
I.M.O. if you aren't having online sex
with someone, then you aren't cheating.
Obviously your gf thinks differently. You
lied to her, and I would think that she's
more upset about the deceit than the
actual porn. You need to work this out
with her. Have a sit down and try to
discover exactly what about it makes her
so upset. Perhaps you can educate her
about it. Tell her what it does for you.
See if she would be willing to watch it
with you. You both need to agree, and
then stick by your agreement.
Here's a funny story for you. I used to
be very against strip bars. I told my dh
that if there were strippers at his
bachelor party, to forget the wedding.
Well, obviously there were strippers at
his bachelors party ad nobody told me.
About 2 years later we were on vacation
and his friend took us to a strip bar. At
first I was pissed off, then as I sat
there and had a couple of cocktails, I
discovered that it was a musing and fun.
I had a couple more cocktails and had a
great time. Our evening almost ended
inme getting a tattoo, but I was too drunk
and the tattoo place refused to do it
until the next day (thank god!). The next
day he told me about his bachelor party,
and I wasn't mad at all. I realized I was
just being stupid. (I am not saying your
gf is being stupid, just me). Now we go
to strip clubs every once in a while
together. For my 12th anniversary, a
bunch of my friends went there with us and
I got a stage dance. That was funny. The
girl kept talking to me and when I was
done the guys with us asked what we were
talking about and I said "hair care
products", which was the truth, but they
never believed me.
Anyway, my point is that sometimes we can
change even our deepest convictions when
we are shown the truth. Good luck.
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shgrdii
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Mar 2005 Posts: 14
Posted: 06-19-07 12:09pm
Honestly, I can give up porn for the rest
of my life...I don't need to watch it, I
don't see it as a necessity. I can live
without it. I don't want to ever watch it
with my gf. I'm not going to try to
suggest she get into it. You're right
though, she is more upset about the lying
than the actual act of watching it. Being
honest is important to her and I should
have respected that. I lied to her and
broke her trust. Now I have to do the work
to make it better. It is kind of hard
though when you lie to someone to get
their trust back right away.
