I'm in a bit of a sticky situation. I have been with my girlfriend for almost three years now. I love her to death and I do plan on marrying her in the near future. I wouldn't say I have a porn addiction, but on occasion I would look at it and masturbate. Not a daily thing, I wasn't one of those people who spent thousands of dollars on it. I kept this fact from her because previously she had said she was disgusted by it and would be upset if I watched it. Being the jerk that I am, I kept doing it and kept her in the dark. The other day, she found something on the computer and confronted me about it, I came clean.
She is really upset and hurt about it and she told me she thinks that I don't love her and aren't attracted to her anymore, which isn't true at all. I know I should have respected what she said about and I should have been honest from the beginning...jerk move on my part. I screwed up. But do you think she wil get over it? Any other guys on here, what do your girlfriends think about porn, or girls, how do you feel if you find out your boyfriend was watching it? I just don't want to lose her and am willing to do anything to make it right. One of my friends told me she is overreacting. I don't know if I believe him and I wouldn't ever say that to her. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
p.s. Sorry If I posted this in the wrong place, not sure where else I could put it.
I personally don't have a problem with porn. I like to watch it, and so does my husband. sometimes we watch together. I.M.O. if you aren't having online sex with someone, then you aren't cheating. Obviously your gf thinks differently. You lied to her, and I would think that she's more upset about the deceit than the actual porn. You need to work this out with her. Have a sit down and try to discover exactly what about it makes her so upset. Perhaps you can educate her about it. Tell her what it does for you. See if she would be willing to watch it with you. You both need to agree, and then stick by your agreement.
Here's a funny story for you. I used to be very against strip bars. I told my dh that if there were strippers at his bachelor party, to forget the wedding. Well, obviously there were strippers at his bachelors party ad nobody told me. About 2 years later we were on vacation and his friend took us to a strip bar. At first I was pissed off, then as I sat there and had a couple of cocktails, I discovered that it was a musing and fun. I had a couple more cocktails and had a great time. Our evening almost ended inme getting a tattoo, but I was too drunk and the tattoo place refused to do it until the next day (thank god!). The next day he told me about his bachelor party, and I wasn't mad at all. I realized I was just being stupid. (I am not saying your gf is being stupid, just me). Now we go to strip clubs every once in a while together. For my 12th anniversary, a bunch of my friends went there with us and I got a stage dance. That was funny. The girl kept talking to me and when I was done the guys with us asked what we were talking about and I said "hair care products", which was the truth, but they never believed me.
Anyway, my point is that sometimes we can change even our deepest convictions when we are shown the truth. Good luck.
Honestly, I can give up porn for the rest of my life...I don't need to watch it, I don't see it as a necessity. I can live without it. I don't want to ever watch it with my gf. I'm not going to try to suggest she get into it. You're right though, she is more upset about the lying than the actual act of watching it. Being honest is important to her and I should have respected that. I lied to her and broke her trust. Now I have to do the work to make it better. It is kind of hard though when you lie to someone to get their trust back right away.