I'm officially having a bad year. My gram died (well right before Christmas really), Joe died, my mum died, my cousin just died three days ago and now I just found out that one of my uncles is in the beginning stages of kidney failure due to complications from diabetes. With the new chu fiasco and finding out that one of my husband's nephews (the one that I actually like) has been being sexually abused for years I'm about to lose it. I'm so angry right now and I want to just scream but I'm afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop. This is the worst year of my life and to think that I was actually excited about it, and convinced that my life was going to change for the better. I wanted to get help because I've been having panic attacks again but no regular doctor will treat me because they are saying that the attacks have nothing to do with depression and everything to do with grief. They suggest that I just give myself time to get over dealing with so many deaths. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!