Hi Zappa,
I'm sorry to read that you are having problems with loud sound levels. This is actually a common complaint of TMJ sufferers and I'm sorry to say that I've never read where anyone truly conquered this problem. I do think that if you can keep the TMJ and pain at a manageable level, it will help. I am much more sensitive to loud noises when in pain versus no pain. I wonder if it has anything to do with the vibrations structurally inside the ear necessary to even hear sound? The inner ear and TMJoint are right next to each other and share muscles, nerves, etc. Perhaps these vibrations also aggravate the actual joint area. In thinking this thru, I would suppose that when we are in pain, there is usually swelling in the joint and the vibration of hearing (loud noises having a stronger, bigger vibration) would definitely irritate the jaw. It makes sense to me, but I haven't read anything to back up my thinking.
What are you going to do now that you have been diagnosed with TMJ? Treatment plans? I really do believe that TMJ and its symptoms can either be "cured" or managed. It frequently seems to be a matter of finding a good dentist and treatment plan. I pray that you will find the help you need.
Hello TeamKime. Your posting about your daughter and the flute brought back many memories for me. I also was planning on becoming a professional woodwind musician (bassoon). TMJ totally sidetracked my plans, but it wasn't the only thing. I also played the flute and in trying to remember the flute embouchure, I can see where your daughter would have problems.
I know this is only my opinion, but I would highly urge her to see dentists who specialize in either functional jaw orthotics (FJO) or neuromuscular. I do think she may have to go the "longer" route to beat this with possibly repositioning splints, etc. I hope I am wrong and that it is a simple matter of one tooth cuspid being too high and causing her to grind her teeth at night.
Sadly it will take several "specialists'" opinions and research on your own before you are able to pick a truly "right" way to help and then there are still no guarantees that it is right and will work. I'm sorry to make it sound so doom and gloomy, but there honestly is hope. I didn't fully give up playing the bassoon because of TMJ. I didn't have the resources to go to auditions, so in combining all that (plus, I wasn't really good enough I don't think), I became a secretary (a good secretary, mind you

). If your daughter is that good, keep seeking the help she needs and also plan on having to pay a fee, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Please take care both TeamKime (daughter) and Zappa. I will pray that you find the help you need.
God bless you,
Carol