Depression Forum - Lack of Self Confidence ...

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Q: Lack of Self Confidence ...

asked by: mohitsingh009 on June 17th, 2007

New User

its a problem that i m suffering since i've beeen to collge....normally i was very naughty and cute guy in my early childhoood..but after the age of 16 i found some change in myself and felt lil matured...bcoming mature...at that time maturity implies to me that speak whenever u askd or remain silent,dont do naughty or childrn stuff lyk that...
i keep on practising this until my highschool..and i still doin it,i was 18 at that time......and
seriously remain silnt in the party,in the crowd,in frnd circles left me behind what i was actyally...i bcame a reservd person....

and its been one yr since my coll has started i m feeling lonelynes.In the crowd i felt strange almost everytime....and its lyk now i dont lyk crowd...self consciousness is there,Somtimes passing by my classmate appears to me a difficult task and i try to follow difernt path...!!
lack of self confidence....cant speak i feel in public....feeel inferior to ppl who r smart or are richer ........phobia of crowd...!

in colllge..my batch has 60 studnts..but normally i used to spoke to 3-4 studnts only.Talking to other ppl is not possible for,i felt inferiority complex to almost everyone and whenever i tried i dint get the expected repli as nobody is interstd in me.I do lyk girls lyk all the other boys and also i have a fantasy toward them but whenever it comes to girl,i took one step behind.
i dont know why but my policy is one step behind..and due to this i m not living the lyf i deserved....

m goin to b 19 in july...and i dont wanna live a lyf like this what i m havin for past one or two yr...plzz....help me out...

Replies(5)

johnR

replied on June 19th, 2007

Experienced User

Have you given cbt a try yet? Cbt is what taught me how to counter my inaccurate thoughts and build my confidence and overcome my anxiety and panic. The cbt book we used in my group called Been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz is very good and teaches you the TEA form thought countering exercise. If you do the Tea forms everyday you will build your confidence up steadily. There's a link where you can read the forward to the book on the website www.Tao3.Com If you are willing to put in the effort it will help you. Good luck!

mrsbuzski

replied on June 21st, 2007

Experienced User

Relax

Too much to decipeher.

Relax!

Spirit

replied on June 21st, 2007

Experienced User

Mohitsingh, ask yourself this question...............if I had just met me.........would I want to be around me?? That is, do you give the impression of being a likeable, friendly, approachable person?.................or are you painfully shy?, put your head down/look the other way when people approach you?.

..........not unfixable...........change the way the world sees you..........a little at a time so it's real and comfortable for you...................keep your head up, look others in the eye.........just a little bit longer than usual(but don't stare)...........give a friendly nod............acknowledge people...............that's all they want...............that's all we all want

And remember.............people love to talk about their favourite subject..............themselves!.......... ...show real interest and the favour will be returned.........................however if you continue to look the other way...................skulk around like an antisocial type..............than don't be surprised if people walk wide circles around you Smile

starkitten

replied on June 21st, 2007

New User

Dear mohitsingh009,

I'm sure you are a lovable and fun person beneath all that, or at least you can be. So be honest with yourself. What do you like and not like about who you are? What is different about who you are today and how you used to be? Better yet, who do you want to be? If you could write a character in a movie, what would you be like? Forget what people have told you about being an adult, forget what you think people want. What do you consider an amazing person that you would want to get to know? Someone kind, loving, funny, what? Who is a kind and happy person in your eyes? And how can you find those things inside you so that you can let that part of you grow? Just think about it, dream a bit, and apply it to your life. Or try something new, meet new people. It's quality, not quantity. One person can help change your life. You don't have to be the life of the party if it is not what you want anymore. Good luck!

<3 Starkitten

mohitsingh009

replied on June 22nd, 2007

New User

yep..i think u got me somewhere.i m lovable and funny guy.

Always try to b honest to myself as well as to other.But i believe its hard for me to be someone i really lyk even having those qualities.....but yea somewhere deep down in me i think its not difficult..without any doubt i will think what u have said....

....and yea its quality not quantity...and yes...i always want to b the lyf of the party..but it will never happn..
anyways...what do u think abt phobia of crowd or people.

@spirit

would I want to be around me?? alwys...
That is, do you give the impression of being a likeable, friendly, approachable person? somtimes
.................or are you painfully shy? yes,it's alwys put me behind

, put your head down/look the other way when people approach you?.somtimes...but most of the time other guy doesn't respond...as if they'r not intrsted

but i think i got u...have to chnge the way i look society...and i know its not easy to do..

thankue guyss...

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