I think you may be a little confused. This forum was designed to help people in all different situations.

1) if trying to get pregnant...
We ask why, are you sure, we try to figure out how we can all help that person. Possibly make it so that they see the light it they honestly dont..
2) if pregnant..
We help them no matter what. We offer support for whatever they are cousing to do and we help them through the rough times
3) teen mother....
We guide them, or they are guiding others.

My point is everyone is helping everyone. And I am sorry that you feel the way that you do. But I dont agree. We are just trying to make there girls look positive we dont want them to think that this has to be the end of there lives. There can be many more things to come.

Love stacie

You want to know the difference? When 14 year olds come in here wanting a baby, they have no clue how to raise a child, no idea the financial hardship or anything. Chanda on the other hand does, she has helped raise not only her sister, but her niece too. Now no offense or anything kari, but just because your pregnant, doesn’t give you the almighty knowledge of how to raise a child. Secondly I think chanda has a little bit of a better grasp on how to raise one, being as her life has been surrounded with little children and helping her mom. It all depends on your individual situation, and when it comes right down to it, I think chanda would make an excellent mom. You my dear are a hypocrite, whether you used protection or not, having sex leads to babies and many other things. You made a decision, so let others who want to make their own. Chanda never asked for your opinion on this decision and I know she doesn’t appreciate you trying to bring her down.

Meg

Nicely said megan, I agree. I hadn't read the chanda post before posting I should have... Chanda will make a great mom if that is what she chooses to do!!

I totally and completely agree with jen. I think chanda would make an excellent mom one day. But for now I think it would be smart to wait because I hear that her relationship is not so solid. Chanda hun, don't ever rely on a baby to bring your family together. That is too much stress for the poor little one. And this baby will most likely either bring your b/f to u for good, or drive him away for good. Are you willing to take that risk? I know you don't want your baby to have a family life like yours was do you? I know I don't want josh to have one like mine. That's why I am so glad that his father is in his life to the best of his ability. I honestly don't want to see my child go through the pain I did when I found out my father wanted nothing to do with me, then, now, or ever. Trust me, you will make a wonderful mother one day. Just try and wait until the right guy comes along. It could be josh but I think you shaould wait and make sure. And it would be a good idea to finish high school too. You don't have much longer and early pregnancy wipes you out and makes you so tired you feel like you can't do anything but sleep. Hope this helps.....

Meg & stacie-you are great girls!
Everyone else: chanda is her own person-no one has any right to tell her why she shouldnt be a mother now.So what if she's 17-chanda is a responsible,caring person who would no doubt make a great mom.
I think its anyones choice if they want a baby-its her body,her life,her mind.Why should we try & talk her out? I certainly wont
chanda-do what is best for you huni-ur a great girl

Thanks for the support girls. Most of you are all so wonderful! Kari~i don't want us off to a bad start since we never talk much. Just..... Deal with my decision. I know about life. And I know what my child (when I have one) will and will not need to deal with. Either way... It's my decision and my kid, now or later will be fine!
Uncle spanky~you crack me up babe!
Love,
chanda

Like I said, im taking no sides im in my own canoe but if a teen comes here and wants to get pregnant, im gonna try to let her know not to. I dont think teen pregnancy is the best. Some girls will make great mothers but at the right time. And this forum is support for everyone no matter what the situation. Kari I know your intentions are really good and I appreciate your concern but sometimes there is no convincing someone what they are doing isnt the best. We can only try so hard. But just to answer you, the forum is support.

Well I agree with nikki, jennifer, and kissbai. See, if chanda wouldnt of stated the reasons she did, then I wouldnt have been as against it. And meg, u said its different when 14 yr olds come in here and dont have the concept etc. .But with the reasons stated, about making her relationship more 'real' etc.. Well that sounds like not knowing the concept too. Also, she said shes 'kind of' with her boyfriend... I just think some people here say its perfectly okay for some to trry to get pregnant wether they have bad or good reasons to just because they happen to 'like' the person. I know I cant convince anyone, but I mean its the baby im thinking about. And u know I tried the best I could to not get pregnant and it happened..But I certainly wasnt trying and there is a difference.I may come off harsh, but its a serious topic that I feel strongly about. And homecomingqueen I never said I was an expert, my baby isnt here yet, but I do know the difference between right and wrong, and I know its not right for teens to try to get pregnant and I know it wouldve been wrong for me to try.. And I know its not right, at least not for me, to support that. If they think their so ready and are mature .. They should be mature enough to wait till their graduated, can support themselves and another life, and are in a stable relationship, y else plan it?

Everyone..Geez…lol ok I am gonna try and be nice but ah hell no I won’t everyone grow up, you all need to be much more mature than this! What example would this be to show your kids huh?

Sorry hun but this place is full of debate.
Im just really starting to realize how 'cliquey' this place really is. I know if I stranger came in here saying they wanted a baby to make her and her boyfriend closer she would get bashed. .But if its someone in their clique its perfectly fine. Im not even picking on chanda. Ive noticed this many times now. How can we be in cliques if people have never even met?! Its starting to remind me of highschool all over again. Im not completely talking against everyone or the whole forum.. Just certain times I notice this alot. .Other times I find it very helpful and supporting. Hopefully no one yells at me for posting that its just my feeling.. And ive talked to 2 others (wont name names) who feel the same way. I mean people have even lefted because they were ganged up by once again.. Cliques.

Sorry to say u act like u know everything u preach to ppl about everything when ur not in the best situation urself like meg said u have no right to give advice to ppl about rasing children when u havent even experinced it yourself!!! Liking kids or knowing kids doesnt automaticly give u permission to preach to ppl nor does it mean that u know what it takes to be a good parent and raise a child.. U seem to get on everybodies case about the decisons mostly all u have to say is negative at least thats what I have noticed from ur posts

I'm keeping my opinion to my self, all I know is that I will be behind chanda in what ever she decides. Whether it is right or wrong that is only for her to decide.

Brenda

Once again! This isnt just about chanda!!! And u know what dominicksmommy,. It doesnt matter whether I had kids or not, whether I was pregnant or not, I still know whats right and wrong therefore yes I can give advice or advise. U dont have to have kids to do that! Its just people should know its ignorant to try to have kids when their not even in a stable relationship and when they want it to make their relationship stable. In general. .Anyone. But whatever this place angers me off and I know girls whove left because of it because its a highschool click anymore. Not a support forum. Also, no my posts arent all negative , the ones that are are once again only to girls who are trying to have kids when their still in damn highschool and arent even ready or financially stable to have them yet their trying. Sometimes mistakes happen and thats different. But whatever call me negative, im being realistic. I mean I am at least out of highschool, and although my pregnancy was very unplanned I am out of school so I can work full time like a do and make enough to support my baby and I will move out on my own before its born. Im not bashing those young teens that do have em, like I said, accidents can happens, and at least their stepping up and thats great. But anyhow im sure i'll get bi*ching about this post but thats fine, I dont plan on coming back for a while.

Kari you need to chill the hell out.. This isnt all about how you feel about the situation. It isnt just about how any of us feel. Everyone should just keep our opinions to ourselves. And for those of you who are calling this cluqie you dont know what the hell it is then. This is not being clickish, this just simply stating an opinion and other sharing it with you. Chanda has now left because all of the caca. So what she said some things that you guys dont agree with that is how she feels. I had my son because I was tired of moving around the country, because I wanted to be free, because I thought that I could handle it, because I thought it would be nice. And ya know what that is all the wrong reasons!! Bet you didnt know that now did ya? But you know what the difference is, I have learned my lesson on my own. Not by people preaching to me. I would never have matured to this standpoint without living through it. I love my son and I think that having him was the best thing I have ever done. And you know what the caca about it is, my family agree my grandma will tell you to your face.

I love you all..
Stacie

Ok everyone needs to calm down and breathe. There is no need to be yelling at eachother like this. We have our opinions and thats that. We cant make anyone listen, this isnt about chanda but about being in a stable relationship. Im one of chandas good friends and not even I want her pregnant so im clicking with nobody....

Ok, well im going to sit right in the middle of the fence here....... My first reaction would be to agree that teen pregnancy is something that should be discouraged, not only for the babies sakes, but for the parents sakes..... But being a teen mum my self its a bit hypocritical, I made that choice my self and I wouldnt give my girls back for a minute! I can say is that being a mum has made me grow up faster than most of my peers, (good and bad) and made me respect my mother oooooh so much more than I ever did before I had children...... I have my good days and my bad days, and my nothing days!
If a teen wants to be a parent thats their choice..... But please let it be because they want to shower a child with unconditional love and understanding, that they want to share with that child all of lifes wonders, not because they feel that a child will repair a relationship, fill a void or give them love............ Because a small baby will do none of these things,
that statement extends to all prespective parents, of all ages........
Chanda........I wish you luck with what ever you decide to do, and if it is a baby you want, this forum will always support you and any other young parent.......... But as I said earlier, teen pregnancy is nothing to be incouraged...... ( I believe teen parenting needs to be nurtured) good luck girls.......

Well I agree u with u mumof2 and nikki. . But u mezmermize.. Id rather not here your replies in my post cuz u always piss me off* but once again. . Iknow its your opinion and all opinions are aloud. And ive saw several instances where this place is clickish.. But if ur in the 'clique' then u probably wouldnt see it but whatever im not all too worried about it. This place isnt my life or anything. I just used to like it alot better. And by the way im not saying all teen pregnancy is terrible, yea, I think it should be avoided, but its just mostly when its for all the wrong reasons like ive seen lately. And also, about chanda, she has writtin me to 2 times and she didnt seem pissed off... She said she will be back soon. .No big deal. Tons of people have left here, some for good and some come right back. Overall, I dont think people should stop giving their opinions and advice, if people dont like it o well it sucks but thats y this place is here. Not everyones going to agree, we'll always hear more then one side.

I was going to read this post but I cant stand the narrow colum(sp?)!