Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
What Is This Forum? Posted: 03-01-04 07:11am
Hi everyone~ for those of u that dont know
how this came up then u could read the
post by sparkleypixie labeled "chanda".
. .
But after that post and the replies from
chanda.. Im just wondering what u all
think.. . I didnt think this forum
was a forum supporting teens to try to get
pregnant.. I just thought it was a
forum supporting teens in the same
situations and supporting teens who have
already had kids or are pregnant.. Not
a forum supporting teens to try to get
pregnant. I mean I will never support a
teen trying to get pregnant.. If it
happens then im happy they step up and
take responsibility, afterall I am 18 and
pregnant (definitly unplanned)...But if
not then I think they should always wait..
Especially if its for the wrong reasons
like trying to bring a relationship closer
together, trying to grow up, or wanting
someone to love/love them. Id like to
know your opinions, just to as what u
think this forum is for/about. Not
trying to start a fight, but now im really
curious to know what u all think about it.
Also it seems as if ive noticed
sometimes that when a teen will come on
here saying they are trying to get
pregnant, many advise them not to or speak
against it, but when its someone who's
been here or someone they like, people
seem to completely support it. I wont
be on to reply till later because I work
7:30am-5. Thanks*
|
Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 03-01-04 08:14am
I think you may be a little confused.
This forum was designed to help people in
all different situations.
1) if trying to get pregnant...
We ask why, are you sure, we try to figure
out how we can all help that person.
Possibly make it so that they see the
light it they honestly dont..
2) if pregnant..
We help them no matter what. We offer
support for whatever they are cousing to
do and we help them through the rough
times
3) teen mother....
We guide them, or they are guiding
others.
My point is everyone is helping everyone.
And I am sorry that you feel the way that
you do. But I dont agree. We are just
trying to make there girls look positive
we dont want them to think that this has
to be the end of there lives. There can
be many more things to come.
Love stacie
|
HomecomingQueen2003
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Dec 2003 Posts: 936 Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posted: 03-01-04 09:33am
You want to know the difference? When 14
year olds come in here wanting a baby,
they have no clue how to raise a child, no
idea the financial hardship or anything.
Chanda on the other hand does, she has
helped raise not only her sister, but her
niece too. Now no offense or anything
kari, but just because your pregnant,
doesn’t give you the almighty knowledge of
how to raise a child. Secondly I think
chanda has a little bit of a better grasp
on how to raise one, being as her life has
been surrounded with little children and
helping her mom. It all depends on your
individual situation, and when it comes
right down to it, I think chanda would
make an excellent mom. You my dear are a
hypocrite, whether you used protection or
not, having sex leads to babies and many
other things. You made a decision, so let
others who want to make their own. Chanda
never asked for your opinion on this
decision and I know she doesn’t appreciate
you trying to bring her down.
Meg
|
Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 03-01-04 09:40am
Nicely said megan, I agree. I hadn't read
the chanda post before posting I should
have... Chanda will make a great mom if
that is what she chooses to do!!
|
insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 03-01-04 10:16am
Last edited by insurancegirl on 10-08-04 14:13pm; edited 1 time in total
|
KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003 Posts: 1762 Location: Venice, Florida
Posted: 03-01-04 12:32pm
I totally and completely agree with jen.
I think chanda would make an excellent mom
one day. But for now I think it would be
smart to wait because I hear that her
relationship is not so solid. Chanda hun,
don't ever rely on a baby to bring your
family together. That is too much stress
for the poor little one. And this baby
will most likely either bring your b/f to
u for good, or drive him away for good.
Are you willing to take that risk? I know
you don't want your baby to have a family
life like yours was do you? I know I
don't want josh to have one like mine.
That's why I am so glad that his father is
in his life to the best of his ability. I
honestly don't want to see my child go
through the pain I did when I found out my
father wanted nothing to do with me, then,
now, or ever. Trust me, you will make a
wonderful mother one day. Just try and
wait until the right guy comes along. It
could be josh but I think you shaould wait
and make sure. And it would be a good
idea to finish high school too. You don't
have much longer and early pregnancy wipes
you out and makes you so tired you feel
like you can't do anything but sleep.
Hope this helps.....
|
sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 03-01-04 12:45pm
Meg & stacie-you are great girls!
Everyone else: chanda is her own person-no
one has any right to tell her why she
shouldnt be a mother now.So what if she's
17-chanda is a responsible,caring person
who would no doubt make a great mom.
I think its anyones choice if they want a
baby-its her body,her life,her mind.Why
should we try & talk her out? I
certainly wont
chanda-do what is best for you huni-ur a
great girl
Thanks for the support girls. Most of you
are all so wonderful! Kari~i don't want
us off to a bad start since we never talk
much. Just..... Deal with my decision.
I know about life. And I know what my
child (when I have one) will and will not
need to deal with. Either way... It's my
decision and my kid, now or later will be
fine!
Uncle spanky~you crack me up babe!
Love,
chanda
|
nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 03-01-04 17:34pm
Like I said, im taking no sides im in my
own canoe but if a teen comes here and
wants to get pregnant, im gonna try to let
her know not to. I dont think teen
pregnancy is the best. Some girls will
make great mothers but at the right time.
And this forum is support for everyone no
matter what the situation. Kari I know
your intentions are really good and I
appreciate your concern but sometimes
there is no convincing someone what they
are doing isnt the best. We can only try
so hard. But just to answer you, the
forum is support.
|
KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 03-01-04 17:48pm
Well I agree with nikki, jennifer, and
kissbai. See, if chanda wouldnt of
stated the reasons she did, then I wouldnt
have been as against it. And meg, u
said its different when 14 yr olds come in
here and dont have the concept etc.
.But with the reasons stated, about making
her relationship more 'real' etc.. Well
that sounds like not knowing the concept
too. Also, she said shes 'kind of' with
her boyfriend... I just think some
people here say its perfectly okay for
some to trry to get pregnant wether they
have bad or good reasons to just because
they happen to 'like' the person. I
know I cant convince anyone, but I mean
its the baby im thinking about. And u
know I tried the best I could to not get
pregnant and it happened..But I certainly
wasnt trying and there is a difference.I
may come off harsh, but its a serious
topic that I feel strongly about. And
homecomingqueen I never said I was an
expert, my baby isnt here yet, but I do
know the difference between right and
wrong, and I know its not right for teens
to try to get pregnant and I know it
wouldve been wrong for me to try.. And
I know its not right, at least not for me,
to support that. If they think their so
ready and are mature .. They should be
mature enough to wait till their
graduated, can support themselves and
another life, and are in a stable
relationship, y else plan it?
|
Seana Analesa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 83
Posted: 03-01-04 19:26pm
Everyone..Geez…lol ok I am gonna try and
be nice but ah hell no I won’t everyone
grow up, you all need to be much more
mature than this! What example would this
be to show your kids huh?
|
KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 03-01-04 22:06pm
Sorry hun but this place is full of
debate.
Im just really starting to realize how
'cliquey' this place really is. I know
if I stranger came in here saying they
wanted a baby to make her and her
boyfriend closer she would get bashed.
.But if its someone in their clique its
perfectly fine. Im not even picking on
chanda. Ive noticed this many times
now. How can we be in cliques if people
have never even met?! Its starting to
remind me of highschool all over again.
Im not completely talking against everyone
or the whole forum.. Just certain times
I notice this alot. .Other times I find
it very helpful and supporting.
Hopefully no one yells at me for posting
that its just my feeling.. And ive
talked to 2 others (wont name names) who
feel the same way. I mean people have
even lefted because they were ganged up by
once again.. Cliques.
|
dominicksmommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 279
Posted: 03-02-04 00:33am
Sorry to say u act like u know everything
u preach to ppl about everything when ur
not in the best situation urself like meg
said u have no right to give advice to ppl
about rasing children when u havent even
experinced it yourself!!! Liking kids or
knowing kids doesnt automaticly give u
permission to preach to ppl nor does it
mean that u know what it takes to be a
good parent and raise a child.. U seem to
get on everybodies case about the decisons
mostly all u have to say is negative at
least thats what I have noticed from ur
posts
|
lee25
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 1018 Location: new york
Posted: 03-02-04 01:48am
I'm keeping my opinion to my self, all I
know is that I will be behind chanda in
what ever she decides. Whether it is
right or wrong that is only for her to
decide.
Brenda
|
KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 03-02-04 06:14am
Once again! This isnt just about
chanda!!! And u know what
dominicksmommy,. It doesnt matter
whether I had kids or not, whether I was
pregnant or not, I still know whats right
and wrong therefore yes I can give advice
or advise. U dont have to have kids to
do that! Its just people should know
its ignorant to try to have kids when
their not even in a stable relationship
and when they want it to make their
relationship stable. In general.
.Anyone. But whatever this place
angers me off and I know girls whove left
because of it because its a highschool
click anymore. Not a support forum.
Also, no my posts arent all negative ,
the ones that are are once again only to
girls who are trying to have kids when
their still in damn highschool and arent
even ready or financially stable to have
them yet their trying. Sometimes
mistakes happen and thats different.
But whatever call me negative, im being
realistic. I mean I am at least out of
highschool, and although my pregnancy was
very unplanned I am out of school so I can
work full time like a do and make enough
to support my baby and I will move out on
my own before its born. Im not bashing
those young teens that do have em, like I
said, accidents can happens, and at least
their stepping up and thats great. But
anyhow im sure i'll get bi*ching about
this post but thats fine, I dont plan on
coming back for a while.
|
Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 03-02-04 10:17am
Kari you need to chill the hell out..
This isnt all about how you feel about the
situation. It isnt just about how any of
us feel. Everyone should just keep our
opinions to ourselves. And for those of
you who are calling this cluqie you dont
know what the hell it is then. This is
not being clickish, this just simply
stating an opinion and other sharing it
with you. Chanda has now left because all
of the caca. So what she said some things
that you guys dont agree with that is how
she feels. I had my son because I was
tired of moving around the country,
because I wanted to be free, because I
thought that I could handle it, because I
thought it would be nice. And ya know
what that is all the wrong reasons!! Bet
you didnt know that now did ya? But you
know what the difference is, I have
learned my lesson on my own. Not by
people preaching to me. I would never
have matured to this standpoint without
living through it. I love my son and I
think that having him was the best thing I
have ever done. And you know what the
caca about it is, my family agree my
grandma will tell you to your face.
I love you all..
Stacie
|
nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 03-02-04 11:17am
Ok everyone needs to calm down and
breathe. There is no need to be yelling
at eachother like this. We have our
opinions and thats that. We cant make
anyone listen, this isnt about chanda but
about being in a stable relationship. Im
one of chandas good friends and not even I
want her pregnant so im clicking with
nobody....
|
mumof2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 307 Location: Australia
Posted: 03-02-04 11:25am
Ok, well im going to sit right in the
middle of the fence here....... My first
reaction would be to agree that teen
pregnancy is something that should be
discouraged, not only for the babies
sakes, but for the parents sakes..... But
being a teen mum my self its a bit
hypocritical, I made that choice my self
and I wouldnt give my girls back for a
minute! I can say is that being a mum
has made me grow up faster than most of my
peers, (good and bad) and made me respect
my mother oooooh so much more than I ever
did before I had children...... I have my
good days and my bad days, and my nothing
days!
If a teen wants to be a parent thats their
choice..... But please let it be because
they want to shower a child with
unconditional love and understanding, that
they want to share with that child all of
lifes wonders, not because they feel that
a child will repair a relationship, fill a
void or give them love............
Because a small baby will do none of these
things,
that statement extends to all prespective
parents, of all ages........
Chanda........I wish you luck with what
ever you decide to do, and if it is a baby
you want, this forum will always support
you and any other young parent..........
But as I said earlier, teen pregnancy is
nothing to be incouraged...... ( I
believe teen parenting needs to be
nurtured) good luck girls.......
|
KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 03-02-04 14:08pm
Well I agree u with u mumof2 and nikki.
. But u mezmermize.. Id rather not
here your replies in my post cuz u always
piss me off* but once again. . Iknow
its your opinion and all opinions are
aloud. And ive saw several instances
where this place is clickish.. But if ur
in the 'clique' then u probably wouldnt
see it but whatever im not all too worried
about it. This place isnt my life or
anything. I just used to like it alot
better. And by the way im not saying all
teen pregnancy is terrible, yea, I think
it should be avoided, but its just mostly
when its for all the wrong reasons like
ive seen lately. And also, about
chanda, she has writtin me to 2 times and
she didnt seem pissed off... She said
she will be back soon. .No big deal.
Tons of people have left here, some for
good and some come right back. Overall, I
dont think people should stop giving their
opinions and advice, if people dont like
it o well it sucks but thats y this place
is here. Not everyones going to agree,
we'll always hear more then one side.
Last edited by KariM18 on 03-02-04 14:13pm; edited 1 time in total
|
JillMarie
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 3022 Location: Iowa
Posted: 03-02-04 14:12pm
I was going to read this post but I cant
stand the narrow colum(sp?)!
