Hi, I'm a 17 year old male and I don't have much of a social life.
I only see my friends about once a month for about 3 hours and the rest of the time I spend in front of my computer, watching TV, doing some exercise etc...

The thing is that I'm not particularly sad, I just feel empty and I don't know what I want. I am so withdrawn from the real word that I feel like I have taken a liking to emotions such as sadness and loneliness, It's like a form of self-pity.

I have no suicidal thoughts whatsoever and I consistently feel thankful for everything I have. I have been looking for a job and have been turned down at least 10 times and, to a social hermit like me, 10 turn-downs is a lot.

My problem is that I can appreciate everything in my life on a conscientious level, but there is very little substance to my emotions.

My main problem at the moment is that I lack motivation. I think that my sedentary lifestyle is contributing to this cycle of emptiness.
Occasionally, I'll get bouts of happiness (often after going for a jog), but a lot of the time, I'm empty.
Ironically, instead of being sad as depression usually entails, I feel satisfied; so much so that my happiness depends on it; it's like my only source of my happiness.

I probably didn't mention this, but I finished school last year and I have never really connected with anyone, in the 4 years that I have been at this school, I haven't become emotionally attached to anyone.

Sometimes, I feel like even my friends aren't really my friends because of that lack of emotional attachment. They are REALLY kind to me... Way more than I deserve according to the saying "What goes round comes back around."

I think that every problem I have depends on me getting a job... I feel like getting a job at Macdonald's could end up marking the happiest day of the past 4 years of my life... I applied and I REALLY hope they employ me... At first, I underestimated how difficult it was to get a job and the lower I go on the corporate ladder, the less I think of myself...

I really wish that I could establish and maintain an emotional connection with a bunch of friends, but it's not happening... Maybe it's because males are unemotional. I wish I could have a girlfriend but my social anxiety is stopping me from doing so. I have never had a girlfriend in my life so all I got for emotional discourse is my mum, but it's getting boring a predictable and it only goes so deep... I don't want my mother to think that I'm not happy with my current state of being.