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Strange Form of Depression?

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Hi, I'm a 17 year old male and I don't have much of a social life.
I only see my friends about once a month for about 3 hours and the rest of the time I spend in front of my computer, watching TV, doing some exercise etc...

The thing is that I'm not particularly sad, I just feel empty and I don't know what I want. I am so withdrawn from the real word that I feel like I have taken a liking to emotions such as sadness and loneliness, It's like a form of self-pity.

I have no suicidal thoughts whatsoever and I consistently feel thankful for everything I have. I have been looking for a job and have been turned down at least 10 times and, to a social hermit like me, 10 turn-downs is a lot.

My problem is that I can appreciate everything in my life on a conscientious level, but there is very little substance to my emotions.

My main problem at the moment is that I lack motivation. I think that my sedentary lifestyle is contributing to this cycle of emptiness.
Occasionally, I'll get bouts of happiness (often after going for a jog), but a lot of the time, I'm empty.
Ironically, instead of being sad as depression usually entails, I feel satisfied; so much so that my happiness depends on it; it's like my only source of my happiness.

I probably didn't mention this, but I finished school last year and I have never really connected with anyone, in the 4 years that I have been at this school, I haven't become emotionally attached to anyone.

Sometimes, I feel like even my friends aren't really my friends because of that lack of emotional attachment. They are REALLY kind to me... Way more than I deserve according to the saying "What goes round comes back around."

I think that every problem I have depends on me getting a job... I feel like getting a job at Macdonald's could end up marking the happiest day of the past 4 years of my life... I applied and I REALLY hope they employ me... At first, I underestimated how difficult it was to get a job and the lower I go on the corporate ladder, the less I think of myself...

I really wish that I could establish and maintain an emotional connection with a bunch of friends, but it's not happening... Maybe it's because males are unemotional. I wish I could have a girlfriend but my social anxiety is stopping me from doing so. I have never had a girlfriend in my life so all I got for emotional discourse is my mum, but it's getting boring a predictable and it only goes so deep... I don't want my mother to think that I'm not happy with my current state of being.
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replied June 14th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
that sucks and i know how you feel, i had friends but they werent like real ones like a shoulder to cry on i guess you could say, i have trust issues so i never opened up to anyone and still learning the process with my husband, personally i thought i would besingle the rest of my life and never have kids but im happily married with 2 wonderful children.
Getting a job is hard to do, also you gotta be more social and open in order for them to want to hire you, so they know your a good worker and are good being around people. Most jobs u need to be pretty social at. I think getting ajob is the first step, u meet people at work , possibly hang out with them.
excersizing is good for depression it helps get you out of that slump so i think it would be wise to jog everyday maybe in th emornings to start your day off good.
Im not sure but therapy might help to teach you to be a more open person and express your emotions better. Get rid of the social anxiety you feel around people as well, so its something to look into.
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replied June 17th, 2007
Look i exactly understand what u feels coz i,ve passed that period after quiting my job, the majority of my friends are busy at work or marriage life .. etc

Emptiness makes u feel that you are unmotivated to do anything, and days become the same, everymorning you wake up you feel so hollow coz there,s no specific goal n your life.. i felt that after i left my job

i became kinda introverted, staying the whole day in my room infront of my PC and that made me lose my connection with ppl.. i felt that i became connected online but disconnected in real life and its horrible..
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replied June 17th, 2007
Experienced User
It sounds like you have to take positive action and get the social side of your life in order.

AD medication is unlikely to help this problem in the short term, never mind the long term.

There is many a self-help book there in this day and age, so I would encourage you to use what power you have to help yourself.
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