It's the same kind of lax logic skill thats makes posters respond to threads like "I'm pregnant and don't want to be" with "you should've used protection" or "you shouldn't of had sex". How is that helpful?
What's done is done; what should or should not of happened is irrelevant.

This kind of reasoning is an eyesore of the human race.

If you do not like my posts, you are welcome to make posts of your own giving her whatever advice and information you want. I don't see how criticizing my posts and trying to call me names is going to help her. I stand by what I said.

Thanks for the advice, I already did. I am also welcome to criticize your posts as well, especially if I believe they are unnecessary and narcisstic. And if I were "trying" to call you names, I would of. I was describing your response as illogical, and guilt-inducing. At least you haven't refuted that.

Maybe you don't understand that I am not specifically speaking about your comments to 'go to a doctor' or the like, just the first paragraph that I separated and quoted.

I don't understand how you can stand by what you said, and call it reasonable and helpful to a scared seventeen year old who just took a gazillion harmful drugs. These are real people on the other side of the screen-they have done real things, and take what is said seriously.

Don't project your own values on posters like this-it's not about you and what you want or think about what they have done in their past.

Once again, I stand by what I said. I don't know why you have such a problem with that. People are allowed to give advice and opinions here. I gave mine. If you do not agree with my posts, fine. I believe your posts are illogical, guilt-inducing, narcissistic, and unnecessary at this point. I don't see what the big deal is. I am not trying to debate with you. We disagree. Not everyone agrees with everyone else. It's really not a big deal. Drop it.

Because this situation, where a girl has taken all kinds of pills and she's pregnant, is "not a big deal"?

See?

You don't understand the gravity of what you can do on here. It's not about me disagreeing with your posts, or thinking you're not allowed to "give advice" (if that's what you call it), it's that you don't understand that there are real people behind these computer screens, and you don't know how sensitive they may be, and you have to watch what you say in certain situations. It is a big deal.

I'm sorry you have been misunderstanding me from the get-go.

Oh, no, I did not mean that this girl's situation is not a big deal or that what we say to people here is not a big deal. What I meant was that it is not a big deal if two people disagree like we do. I don't see the need for all the debate. She did put her body and her baby's through a lot. I don't see what is so wrong with telling her that. If you think it was a little too harsh, you are welcome to that opinion. I don't see the need to keep going back and forth debating it though. Like I said, yes, I certainly would say the same thing to her in person. I know she is a real person, but I just disagree that what I said was out of line in any way.

I apologize-I often think that someone might have the ability to understand something that they do not, and then I optimistically go through the process of working it out with them, only to come to such a bunker as this.

If you would really go up to a 17 year old stranger who told you about her situation and her pill taking, and say what you did, then we not only have a "disagreement of opinion", we have deeper conflicts indeed that cannot be worked out over a computer screen.

Seriously, act like an adult. Keep your insults to yourself. You should have learned in kindergarten that it's ok for people to disagree.

I have not insulted you, nor do I have a problem with us disagreeing. You clearly do not understand what I am trying to say, and take this as slander against you or something.

There is a deep crevasse in your understanding of people if you would be comfortable going up to this poster as a stranger and saying what you said in person.
I would not walk up to a disturbed 17 year old girl and berate her for what she did to her "poor baby" after she took so many pills.

I thought you might be able to understand this, but you do not, so we have reached an impasse. You are a different 'type' of person.

[I reread my last post and thought you might have taken "bunker" as an insult-I only meant it as 'an object getting in the way'. Like a bunker on the beach at Normandy, per se.]

No, I did not take "bunker" to be an insult. However, I do take it as an insult when you say or imply that most posts are illogical, guilt-inducing, and ingenuous. Or when you say or imply that I have no tact, lax logic skills, and that my reasoning is an eyesore of the human race. Or when you imply that I am too stupid to understand or agree with you.

It is interesting that you address what you perceive as my "tone" versus my content. All of these things listed are true; therefore, they cannot be an insult unless you have come to the understanding that you had no tact, etc, and just haven't gotten around to admitting it yet. You are being highly defensive without addressing any content.

If you say something illogical or insensitive, then it is illogical or insensitive; and it isn't an insult to point it out.

If I say the earth is square, and you show me the earth is round, then you are not insulting me.



No, not that you are "too stupid" just a different "type" of person, like I already said. If you do not understand how your actions were insensitive, even after someone pointed it out, then you are a different "type" of person than me.

I am sorry you can not understand what I am trying to say. So often, people jump the gun and make assumptions without sitting and thinking. I think this is one of those situations.

So now you are trying to say that you never said or implied that I have no tact when you said, "go find a dictionary and look up tact"? So what exactly did you mean when you said that then? If you said it, don't act like I made it up. That was in the content, not the tone of your post. That was a direct quote from you. I can quote you on all of the other things too if you have already forgotten that you said them.

You seem to have no idea what the difference between "fact" and "opinion" is. What is illogical and insensitive is an opinion, not a fact. If I say something that is incorrect, as in not a fact, then you can let me know. However, if it is your opinion that what I say is insensitive, tough. That's your opinion, not a fact, and I disagree with it.

Honestly, how long do you want to keep your childish debate up? Just drop it. I have no idea what you want and what your point with all of this is. If you just wanted to let me know that you disagree with my post, then yeah, I got the point. If you have another goal with all of this, you'll have to let me know because I have no idea what you want at this point.

You clearly do not understand.

This is not childish. It is very serious. You do not understand that you were insensitive, and tactless. You also do not understand that what you say can affect people.

These aren't insults when they are true. There is no opinion about the insensitivity of your comments, and if you believe there is, then there is a chasm running deep between you and kindness.

The earth is round, the sky is blue, your comments were insensitive and tactless. I have only been trying to get you to understand my viewpoint. As you continue to respond, I assume you are looking for answers as well.
Hopefully in the future you will consider what you say and how it may make people feel.

No, I do not understand, but don't worry about it. I apologize. I did not realize what I was dealing with. Are you currently in therapy? If not, it sounds like it might be a good option for you. Feeling that one's opinions are facts, or that one is a moral authority, and other such things is a sign of quite a few mental conditions. Those feelings are often called "delusions of grandeur" or "megalomania." Don't panic though, a lot of conditions respond very well to therapy, medications, or both. Good luck.

Actually, what you are referring to is called "grandiosity" specifically, as in the DSM IV-R. Just so you have the term right next time you use it.

I think you are trying desperately to save face. Your comments were insensitive and tactless, and the fact that you feel comfortable walking up to a complete stranger and telling her such shows your character.

A person doing that is not a kind, caring person, interested in the betterment of the individual in front of them, and that's not an opinion. If you think there is hedge room there, then again (I'm just repeating myself here since you refuse to answer content and instead discuss peripherals) there is a huge chasm in your understanding of how to treat people with kindness and understanding.

I've enjoyed chatting with you, honestly. It's very entertaining, and while this last post of yours was uncalled for, I was amused by the nature of it.

Thanks PurestGreen (I'm assuming it was you) for switching this over, and I like your title.

Twas I and you're welcome

Personally, I agree with Llewellyn, and yes, I would have said those things to the girl's face too. It would have been peppered in with consoling her and giving kind advice, but yeah. Part of me would have gone "You do realize you've cause un-fixable harm to the fetus?"

But why? What would that have donel? Why is it a stranger's place to tell her what may not even be true? No one knows the extent of damage.

Help me understand, Eiri! I'm being sincere.

In the unlikely event this actually happened, I would have said to her (among other things-like, 'how are you feeling now') 'I have no idea what may have happened, lets get you to a doctor to find out'. I would certainly not have compounded her own grief with the condemnation of a complete stranger.

What does a prochoicer care what the mother did to the fetus if her intent was to abort it? How can they then turn around after finding out the mother wants to keep the fetus and be a turdling about what she may have done to the fetus?

Because now that she has chosen to keep it, she must step up to what she has done it it. I think it's a pretty simple concept...