I have bipolar disorder which actually caused my wife and I to get a divorce last Ocotber. She said she couldn't deal with it. I can't blamer her. At the same time, she was cheating which I later found out. Now I'm in a situation where I met a wonderful girl and we were dating for about 5 months but knew each other for a few years. Here in the past two weeks I don't know what happened. I was out of meds for a week and I accused her of cheating just like my ex wife did. Let's just say that wasn't good. We haven't seen each other or talked on the phone. The only communication we have is txt messaging. We did talk on the phone a few times and I did get that she loved me, missed me but needed time. I don't understand what time is. Keep in mind, I bought this beautiful girl a wedding ring last week. I feel like my world has ended. Not only did I lose her for now but I don't have my kids except for on the weekend. My ex won't answer her phone half of the time so I can talk to them during the week. I'm sitting at work trying to figure out how I can put myself in danger on the way home. I feel that if something horrible happened then maybe I will find out who cares and who doesn't. Yes, today I wanted to die. I thought about how I would do it and when. Please help me get these feelings out of me.