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Q: I Can't Ejaculate With My Gf..

asked by: xxAnon on June 11th, 2007

New User

I have a new girlfriend and i've not been with her too long i'm 18 and still a virgin, I've never been any further than kissing a girl until i met my current girlfriend.

We've had quite a few chances to do stuff with eachother but we are always in the wrong place at the wrong time or the right place at the wrong time. I can get an errection fine and i can ejaculate when masterbaitin by myself.

Can anyone tell me why this is happening, Maybe because i'm under pressure to ejaculate and that i'm not comfortable with the time or place this is happening?

My girlfriend thinks its her fault and that she is doing something wrong and i keep assuring her its not her fault. I REALLY like this girl and don't want this problem to mess it up i feel asthough it is already causing problems but maybe it's me being paranoid.

Can anyone help me please?

Replies(8)

Llewellyn

replied on June 11th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: I Can't Ejaculate With My Gf..

xxAnon wrote:

Maybe because i'm under pressure to ejaculate and that i'm not comfortable with the time or place this is happening?

Exactly. It sounds like you are under pressure. You might be nervous and a little uncomfortable. You might be trying to force it. You might be worried about losing her or upsetting her because of it. All of that worrying just makes things worse!

You can keep assuring her that it is not her fault. You can even show her this thread if you think it will help. There are many other similar threads here too because this is actually a very common issue.

You will probably find that you have no trouble at all when you feel comfortable and relaxed and when you aren't worrying about it so much. Try to find somewhere private where you do not have to worry about anyone hearing you, or walking in on you, or anything like that so that can be one less thing to worry about.

xxAnon

replied on June 11th, 2007

New User

Thank you, Since the first time this happened i thought it may of been the pressure i was under. The thing is we never have any time completly alone because of our ages & the awkward distance we only see eachother once a week sometimes more.

I'll try to explain to her about being in the right place at the right time might help, I'm trying not to worry about it but after it happened again lately i started worrying about losing her more and making things worse.

fiona05

replied on June 11th, 2007

Supporter

my boyfriend had this issue for at least a month into our relationship. it's ok! make sure she knows it is not her, i think it is just an issue getting completely relaxed, which , as you say, may have a lot to do with the time and place you have sex. try not to feel under pressure. talk it through with her. me and my boyfriend didn't talk about it for a while, but once we did talk about it and got a better understanding of what was causing it, guess what? the next time we had sex, he came. keep communicating with her, and next time you have sex, dont rush into things. take your time touching, kissing, hugging, experiencing intimacy with each other. i'm sure your problem will go away soon Wink

ashamedman

replied on June 11th, 2007

New User

What I Did

every girl i have ever had sex with her i never went the first 3 times on average.. i think its about getting in rythm with each other.. one thing i did with the first girl is get her on top and move her hips back and forth like you are controling her movements and speed.. kind of like masturbation but better.. try to get her to roll her hips a little bit too. i would kill for this problem now. my problem now is the other extreme.

xxAnon

replied on June 12th, 2007

New User

Is there prehaps anyway i can stop myself from worryin so much? something that may take my mind off of the worry lol.

Tylanas

replied on June 12th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

xxAnon wrote:

Is there prehaps anyway i can stop myself from worryin so much? something that may take my mind off of the worry lol.

A better question is... why are you worrying? You need to confront the fear you have, work it out... and then you won't be worrying at all.

xxAnon

replied on June 12th, 2007

New User

I really have no idea why i'm worried i don't feel worried as such it's just awkward being rushed with something like this.

The one thing i am worried about is losing her because of this, she thinks its her fault even though i keep assuring her it's not.

Tylanas

replied on June 12th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

xxAnon wrote:

If you feel you're being rushed, then the time clearly isn't right. Wait a little. Have sex when you're ready, and there will be fewer problems!

Reassure your girl that it's not her fault, and that when the time is right and you are finally comfortable and not rushed, you'll be able to have sex.

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