why don't you guys get married and move away?

if he keeps giving him parents his money he will never have the money to move in with you.

I'm not really into the whole marriage thing lol I just don't see myself in it yet. I love him soo much I CAN see myself engaged to him. tho. Marriage especially when not ready or wanting to yet doesn't make a relationship better. If he thinks I'm the one and he proposes with all my heart I'll say yes...but no yet

And he doesn't have anything saved up because of his parents throwing all their reaponcabilities on him. I understand how important family is but I think parents should understand that their children have to grow up and that their not just an extra source of income. I love him so I can wait. But I can only wait so much. If with time I see that things don't chang
e I don't kno what I'm gonna do:(

He is an adult and he lives with his parents so he SHOULD contribute to rent/utilities/food.....................ho wever it should be a reasonable amount. He should actually sit down and figure out what his share should be and then discuss it with his parents if the amount should fairly go down.
It's their family and if the mother chooses to stay at home she has every right too.................I believe raising little children is much more important than bringing in extra cash.

You didn't mention whether you work or not??..........perhaps you should get a job or a "better" job. I agree you should not move in with them and maybe you should think twice about moving in with your bf...........sounds like the apron strings are a little tight and short................and if you think moving in together is not like "marriage" your mistaken..............alot of the same rules apply sans the papers. If you and your bf want to be treated and respected as adults you have to act like adults.................ie the responsibility is all on you!

Yes I understand the mom has all the rite to stay at home if she wants. Yet she says "why work when I have 2 men supporting me?" lol sounds iffy to me. He's honduran and I'm Mexican American so our beliefs on how woman should act or are brought up are wayy different.

I do work.fulltime. I have my own apartment in san Francisco and I can provide for myself and I still have enuf to cover a bill here and there for my family back home.. His parents are surprised that I live on my own lol and yea living together is like a marriage. My parents have been together for 20 and never married because they feel a title puts a lot of pressure on some people. And no my family is not diafunctional because my mom and dad aren't officially wed like most people think lol

He should pay A reasonably amount. He pays half of rent.food. Bills. His and his fathers insurance everymonth. His own car payment. Child support (for his kid back hom) to me that sounds like he's paying a bit to much than what sounds resonable don't you think. and then he provides for his siblings as if they were his own which I have no prob with.

He gets diability money cause he was injured in the war so to me all they see in him is a chek. They feel if they let him go then they won't be as coMFy as they are now. I'm just watching from the sidelines cause there's nothing I can do. Its up to him to take initiative and talk seriously to his folks

So I am being an adult lol you made it sound like I'm a child lol not at all I assur you. I support him in any decision he mite make be it staying wit them since he feels so obliged. I will be moving closer to my family soon. even if it means that he won't be there wit me to share that. And I don't mind anymore. I'm just mind boggled as why some parents act that way. Its very hurtful cause he's so noble and it feels like he's being taken advantage of.

sorry but i dont think your b/f is going to put his foot down anytime soon so i would not count on him moving in with you. pretty bad his parents would make him feel guilty

I kno that's why I stopped getting my hopes up. He's looked at apartments and that's sweet but I don't take it seriously anymore cause of the way things are looking. My parents advized me to just enjoy the time we have together and if the day ever comes that he wants to move our relationship to the next level he's going to have to have the guts to make a choice.

I even told him that if he felt so obligated he could still provide a little for his family even if he lived on his own. But that's up to him. And yea I don't think we.ll be even be thinking bout moving anytime soon from a guys point of view what do you guys think?

i think your wasting your time on him. just how long are you willing to wait?

I really love him even tho he's got a kid(she doesn't live wit him by the way) even tho there's that in the way and even tho there's the whole family not wanting to let him go and making him feel bad deal.. I still don't think I would leave him just like that.

We.ve known each other for 2yrs and been together for 8mnths. I'm willing to invest time and get to fully kno each other but I'm not waiting 2 more years just for him to put his foot down and say enuf u kno. I felt BAd when I left my family back home cause my mother wasn't working at the time. I felt that as the first born it was my obligation to provide.

But my mother told me that it wasn't. She said I had to make it on my own and that I wasn't an ATM machine for them to hit me up for money. After she started working I felt relief cause both my folks were working and I saw that they were financialy ok without me.

So that guilt went away with time. Lol I don't kno if it'll happen to him. But were almost at our one year mark but if he keeps complaining and whining about the situation then we're gonna have to have a time out so he can think of what he really wants. If he still wants to take care of 6 kids lol

Well I understand a little better now................and I do apologize if I made you to sound like a child................and I do not think people who choose to live together without the benefit of marriage are "dysfunctional"

...........half the rent/food/utilities is way too much...............if I understand you correctly there are 3 children and 2 other adults in that household................mathematically that doesn't add up.................and in addition he pays the father's insurance!.......................your right, they see him as an ATM machine. There's nothing wrong with helping out your family but this borders on ridiculous.....................noble yes but also a dash of sucker too......................where does that leave you?..............set a date for change and stick to it.................the "ultimatum"................and again your right....................he's due for a "time out".....................the longer you wait the easier it will be for him to not do anything.................advice from experience!

I agree. He won't have the guts to leave them.