Get away.Go far far away.Who is he to tell you what to do.You are your own person you are very capable of making your own decisions.Your mom?He wont let you go out with your own Mother?No way,that is way too much and way too rediculous.It's just not healthy and you would quite honestly be better off alone.Answer this: Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?Having no friends,no family no nothing *allowed* around you?What is he trying to protect you from?He's trying to keep you close for his own security because obviously he has issues.He wont leave you but you can sure as heck leave him!

Once again Melissa's right!.........why do women put up with this cr*p?!..............I guess cause they are as insecure as the men they are going out with..................the mens insecurities are manifested with control and isolation and the women think that "gee he must really love me cause he wants me all to himself?!"......................as if! For your child and for yourself....................please go............you won't regret it

exactly! I thought the same thign at first.I didn't see him trying to control me,I saw it as "wow,he must really care about me making sure i'm not talking to any guys and making sure that where i'm going is ok".sounds dumb but true.I just wanted to be lloved by him and thats what came out.then,I started to notice I couldn't bear it anymore,I couldn't breathe. . .You could do all the things you did before now,you just have a boyfriend/finace. He should not be holding you back from anything,he should love and trust you and get over himself.

Not allowed to go out with your Mom!!!!!!

That is a big warning sign there. If he is not doing it yet, he will be doing it soon, he is going to start hitting and beating you girl.

For the love of your child and yourself get him to a counselor and if he refuses or does not change his attitude soon, get out.

Give it a three month or two month time period for things to change.

However, if you feel your saftey is in trouble, get away now. Call your Mom and any friends you know to help you pack and leave.

I hate guys like that, and I am a guy. He has all kinds of rules for you, but he himself does not follow them right? If you did some of the things he does, it would bring on a big argument from him, correct??

I feel so sorry for you. I whish you could be strong enough to just dump him now, cut all connection, and what not.

Yes, let him see his child after a while, but right now for the immediate situation, you need to be strong and determined. Again all for yourself and your child.

In the end the choice is yours, life is not easy or perfect. But that does not mean you have to put up with abuse. Make the correct hard decision and make him change or you make the change.

Thank you all for your advice. I forgot to mention in my forum that my b/f is actually living with me and my family. I have kicked him out once for only a week cuz he wanted to be with me and his daughter. i am not worried about him beating me even tho he threatens to do it but I know he wont cuz of my brother still lives at home with my family. MY brother would never let any harm come to me or my daughter. And besides my b/f knows that I would go to cops if anything like that happened.

Bernie it is ok saying your brother will protect you but he won't always be there.
I presume as you have a baby you hope to have a long relationship if not get married. This would mean moving home to your own place. Who is gonna protect you then?
Usually what we tend to do when the abuse starts is protect them because we are ashamed of what is happening to us, so we pretend to others that it isn't happening & therefore end up with further abuse, which can be menatl, physical, sexual, verbal.
Just think about what is happening in your parents home already, I dread to think what will happen when you set up home together.
Good luck!

Run as fast as you can, get away from that situation. Been there done that and I got out.

If he continues to bother you, then move out of state, start a new life without fear.

You have options, use them.

she asks for advice, we give it, and she ignores it or rationalizes why it is okay for her to continue.



It is easy said than done, but advice has been given. Advice that would see you and your new one safe. For the sake of your own freakin child why not just take it?

Just because she requests advice does not mean she has to take it.

I agree with all above who state that you should get away from this man. You are an adult, and as such, you have teh freedom to do as you wish, provided your child is well cared for. You are correct in your assertion that you have a right to get out for a while. I think you know what the right thing is to do, but it is a scary step. You need to take it, though. If he threatens to beat you, then he is giving you fair warning of what he is willing to do to have you under his thumb. No man or relationship is worth your freedom.

Best of luck to you and your little one.

I am not ignoring any of the advice that everyone has given me. I'm not around him 24/7 every single day. I've been goin over to my friends' house with my daughter take to get away for a while. And I've been doing this for the past week now. I'm not afraid of him hurting me or my daughter. Lately I just provoke him to do it just so i could get him in trouble for it. When we fight its not physical...just verbally and emotionally. All he does is yell at me for caca i dont even do. When he tells me that I cant do something...I'll sit there and argue with him and if he still wont let me I'll do it anyway. But its caca that i'm not allowed to go out on the weekends b/c I'm in a relationship with someone and only single women go out on the weekends.

Yes he has all these kind of rules for me. He actually goes by the rules himself also. He hardly ever goes out with friends b/c he doesnt talk to many ppl anymore except for his workers. And he doesnt want to hang out with them on the weekends cuz all they do is drink alcohol and smoke weed. My b/f feels that since he's a dad now, he shouldnt do that. He drinks every once in awhile. I did dump him for awhile cuz we got into an argument about my hangin out with ppl who screwed him over in the past year. i dumped for like a week after that. But somehow he came back....dunno how the hell that happened.

I know my bro wont always be there to protect me. i have lived on my own with my b/f for about 10 months then we moved to my mom's until we can find another place. I dont really plan on moving out of my mom's again until I'm done in college. But I will see how things go. i dont expect to have a long relationship with my daughter's father and I dont plan on marrying him either.

Hi i am going through the same thing rite now have been with my bf for nearly 6 years. He doesnt like me going out with my friends he says i should want to go out with him. Its even gettin to the point if i dont answer my phone when he at work i get grief. He smashes up my things and says if i leave him he will kill me.
We have children and i dont want them to grow up around this theey hate it when he is like this he even says thing to them about me that is very nasty and has got them to call me names