I'm 17 And Want a Baby. Should I Have One?

Do you want a honest opinion?

Hi! I'm Detch. I'm 24 years old. I'm pregnant right now & it's our first baby. My due date will be on December 20. My problem is, I have a goiter 2 years ago. Right now my Dr. told me to do the TSH again & I ask him what if my goiter came back & if it will be ok for the baby. He told me they will know on my result so that they can correct it. I'm scared right now coz seems my husband was also scared that I have a goier. He was scared if it will affect to the baby. But I remember before my Dr. told me 2 years ago it's ok if I have a goiter as long as I will give birth while I'm still young. What do you think guys? Do you think it will be ok for me & my baby?

yes i would like an honest opinion please.

The best advice i can give you is don't do it. I'm 15 and 38 weeks pregnant, i wouldn't change it for the world now because i've fallen in love with my little girl but if i could be in different circumstances i would be so much happier. Looking after children and having your own child are two completly different things, my sister has an almost three year old boy and an almost two year old girl and i have a vert close relationship with them and when i got pregnant and made my descision to keep our baby i thought it would be so much easier than it is because i saw my sister go through pregnancy, from an outside eye it does look so much easier than it is. You say that you and your boyfriend arn't ready to have sex, so how do you propose to get pregnant? If you're not mature enough to think you're ready for a sexual relationship then you anre most certainly not ready to raise a child.
I truely am sorry if any of that sounded harsh but it really bugs me when people around my age actually want to have a baby because they have no idea what it takes, if i had my way i wouldn't be pregnant now but i do still love my daugter. Just wait untill you're older, have a career and a home and then start to raise a family

Honestly, Its completely normal what you are feeling. Many of us have felt this way. I personally have wanted a child, seriously, since I was about 14.

Did I want a child very badly? yes.

Did I realize that it would be in mine and my child's best interest to wait until i was financial and emotionally stable enough to raise a child? Yes.

Did I realize that it was very selfish of me to want to bring a child into this world to an unstable relationship on purpose? Yes.

If you really want a child, then you need to s tart thinking like a mother. As a mother you want nothing but the best for your children and would do anything to give it to them. An unwed teenager, that is still in highschool, not financially stable or even living on your own...not the best for your child. Things happen, I understand that. But to plan a child at this time in your life is completely selfish, and nothing else.

I want to say, agian, that what you are feeling is completely normal. But, you need to think responsibly for your life and the life of your future children and wait until you are stable enough to provide a healthy environment for your child.

thanks for the replys. it made me think and i still want a baby really bad but it would be in the best interest of my future child if i finished high school and started a career. it makes me feel better to know that it a normal thing to be feeling so thnx you guys.

Well said. I have wanted to be a mommy since about 14 as well. But waiting until you are settled is the best bet. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. =0)

yeah i guess so. well thanks everybody for the replies. i guess i just needed someone to talk to without talking to my parents about it. I still want a child but i guess i will wait because i dont want to be selfish and do that.
Lisa

Hi Lisa i can kind of relate to you as i'm 17 at the moment turning 18 in Sept and i have twin boys who are 11 months. My ex and i really wanted a child and we love them them to bits though they are difficult and spoilt lol. My current bf is eager to have a child now and as i know how difficult it is raising kids we arent trying but we're baby dancing occasionally and whether i fall preg or not we'll be happy but im not rushing into it. He does have his own flat and works so basically like everyone says it is best to carry on with your education and just wait till its the right time. If you've got any queries jus pm me.

Kaileeyx

Hiya hun, I turned 16 last Thursday, and I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my little girl due 18th September. I sit here, and I think that I have just under 13 weeks left, and what do I have for my daughter, how can I afford it, how much does it cost, is it good quality. Babies cost, so so much. You'd need well over a grand. How would you get it? Would your parents give it you? Maybe, but that ain't fair on them. Would you have everything you'd have if you had the money? No. Seriously, it aint fun. Pregnancy messes with your head, hormones and your body. The one thing out of it thats worth it all is the fact we'll have a beautiful baby at the end of it. But, why not wait? I really think you should practically put yourself in mine, or Danni's position, and think how hard it really is. Just wait for a few years hun.

you should spend a month with me. i'm 21-yr's old & currently [almost] 22-wk's pregnant. i have a 19-yr old sister, who is sexually active with her long-term boyfriend. before my pregnancy happened [which was an accident, not at all planned] my sister & her boyfriend rarely used condoms. now, after spending so much time with me, they're afraid to have sex without protection.

i share a room with my sister. she has watched my body change & my belly grow day-to-day, week-to-week. and every night, when we talk before turning out the lights, she never fails to say, "i never want to have children." i'm pretty sure watching the whole process take place on me & with me has scared her into waiting until she's ready. she has seen me throw some terrible mood swings, go from happy to hysterical in less than a minute, has seen my flat stomach turn into a beach ball, & she's seen my dreams change. neither one of us has ever had an easy path to travel. that's another story, but i've been living "on my own" since the age of 19. i've worked two full-time jobs & attended college full-time, but after a year, it became too much for me to handle. i know what it's like to work hard & have nothing. right now, i'm jobless & pregnant. money is tight & paperwork for financial aid is never-ending.

i have always wanted a baby, too. trust me on that. all i could see myself doing in life was being a full-time mother. i pictured the perfect little life for myself, raising a happy little family, & living happily ever after. it rarely ever works out that way for a person. especially for a teen mother. [no offense to anybody]. i'm not a teen, but i am still a very young mother. i have three younger siblings & i've helped to raise them. so, like you, i know what it's like to take care of babies. but when it comes to those babies being your own, it's completely different. they are 100% your responsibility. if things get out of hand, you can't hand them back to somebody else.

i look at my 19-yr old sister now & envy her. she's going off to college in a couple of months. something i have always dreamed of doing, but wasn't determined enough because of my desire to settle down & have children. i felt like schooling & a good, solid education was a waste of time, because in the end i'd work as a full-time mother. well, i was completely wrong & blinded by my maternal desire. i wish i had an education, and i wish i was working a job that provided me with financial stability & medical benefits. i wish i could enjoy this pregnancy to the fullest & look forward to the arrival of my daughter. i love her, very much. she's my entire world, of course. but i'm afraid for her. i'm scared i won't be able to give her everything she wants. or she'll grow up without a father if something happens between my boyfriend & myself. as much as we love each other & as great as our relationship has been for the past year, plus a couple of months, i know we're still young & anything can happen.

do yourself a favor, please. look at the negative sides of pregnancy, because there are a lot of them. if you love your body, embrace it. once you're pregnant, everything changes! my breasts have changed the most so far. i went from a full-A to a full-C in less than 6-months. they're no longer perky & they're covered in purple stretch marks. they also leak during the day & late at night. i was talking to my younger brother the other morning & he started to give me a funny look. when i looked down, i was so embarrassed. my shirt was soaking wet around my breast area. it's just one of the many lovely experiences of pregnancy, i guess. i went to the beach for the first time this summer yesterday, with my sister & a couple of other family members & friends. i felt confident driving to the beach, but as soon as we were sitting amongst the young, skinny girls in their skimpy, cute bikinis - all confidence disappeared. i felt embarrassed by my expanding belly. it was so hard for me to take my shirt off. everybody stared. you'd think they'd never seen a pregnant woman before.

just, don't rush it. it is selfish. it is life changing & body changing. you're 17, you have your whole life ahead of you still. you can have children later on in life. it's not like this is your last chance. set goals for yourself & reach for them, achieve them, & be proud of yourself. become someone you'd want your own daughter to aspire to be. would you really want for your own daughter to become a teen mother herself? [think about it]. would you want her to have a baby at the age of 17, when she's still in high school? your children are going to look up to you as they grow older. make sure you have stories to make them proud. when they ask you "when you were my age, what was your life like?" don't answer them back with, "i was working some dead end job to provide for you." make sure you can tell them stories about how you worked your butt off through college, while partying hard of course.

you'll do what's best for you, regardless of what people tell you. you are the one responsible for the decisions you make in life, not us. i wish you lots of luck, sweetie.

Although I understand the maternal wants....Choosing to have a baby before you can vote or legally drink in most states is crazy... I wanted to have kids when I was 23 (much older than you are) and looking back now that I'm older with my husband, a home we own and really good income/benefits from working for many years....I never would have been able to give my baby that much even at 23. Try to remember that you have many childbearing years and having an education and a good job is the best thing you can do for your child. Plus, in my case, my husband and I focussed on school and we have quite a savings from our careers and his income now is enough that not only can we support the child but I will be able to be home with him/her when the time comes...they will have financial and emotional security. I think you already know the answer to your question...you just need to be happy with the thought of your future child being soooo happy and you being able to enjoy them as they grow up without struggling just to pay rent and put food on the table.

Yes honey. You are too young, if you wait until you are older you will appriciate your baby even more when oyu are older, you will be able to relax more and spend alot of time with them, i am 15 and i want a baby too! But not until i am old enough.

heyy girl, im 17 i turn 18 in september. if you are about to turn 17 i would say wait. honestly some people are just born to be mothers at a young age and if it keeps calling to you then it might be something to consider. but I am not recommending it. All of my cousins got pregnant at 14 15 and 16 and they dnt regret it but they all have a lot of kids at the ages of 20 21 and 22. Me and y boyfriend have been together almost a year and we have talked about marriage and he wants kids tho he doesnt have a job nor do I. we have sex unprotected everytime. this has to be something that is meant to be. I am still going to tell you to wait till you are financially stable and have a job but somethings just cant wait.

If you're not ready for sex, you are definantly NOT READY for a baby. Ok let's just say you had the baby. While I'm sure you would always love the kid, you almost definetly would regret when you had it, and who you had it with. At your age you need to think about yourself. Take care of your needs right now. The more you do for you right now, the better off your future child, who you will love just as much as this one will be.

Having a baby wouldn't be good at your age. Your dreams to go to college are vivid, and because of this, it wouldn't be possible for you to have a baby as well as go to school. I'm 28 years old, and had my son when I was 26 and am now expecting twins. My husband and I began going out when I was in 10th grade and he was in 12th, but we didn't have sex until our honeymoon. Even then, we knew that we weren't ready for kids, so we waited another 2 years. We both attended school and are now happily living our lives and have a lot of stability. Overall, you should wait to have children.

Hi lisagirl,

NO. Although, you have the emotional desire to have a child, you don't have the maturity or the finace to raise and support a child. Instead of having your own, go volunteer at a homeless shelter and see first hand the difficulty of having to live in a shelter with your child. Talk to other teenagers who are your age or younger and see what advice they would give you. Spend a few days with a teenager, who has to give up being a teenager and grow up over night to be responsible for the survival of another human beinng. That is a "REAL" responsibility.

Good Luck,

Faded Rose

hi there... i'm 18 and & married its going to be a year in decmber.. buh my hubbys abored i got married and styd with him for 2 munths and cme bk to england i will be goin back this decmber .. and i really want to get pregnant i dont have any money issues i can raise it i have a job & also a house & can some one please tel me how long it takes to fal pregant quick me and my partner really want a baby.. wen i styed with him for 2 months i was really lookin forward to get pregant .. buh i iron levels were really really low & alsoo my vitmans etc... need your adviceee ...???