Bipolar Disorder Forum - I Fell In Love With a Bipolar Guy ... i Need Help !

Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum > I Fell In Love With a Bipolar Guy ... i Need Help !

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Q: I Fell In Love With a Bipolar Guy ... i Need Help !

asked by: Mayhem1979 on June 10th, 2007

New User

So I have been talking to a guy from work in the U.S> office (I am in Canada). It started as flirting to texting to calling to talking everyday. When we are not talking we are emailing or texting. We developed STRONG feelings before we met. He told me he never talks on the phone. He told be all his deep dark secrets. I was 100% honest with him with all my stories, and I am never am.
We met last week, I spent 4 days and nights with him. We both fell in love. I am convinced he is the one for me, despite we only been talking for a month.
He told me he is bipolar. He has a VERY aggressive sexual nature. He like control sexually. He told me he always has these 2 lives, 2 girlsfriends at once to fulfill both sides, his good and bad. He told me he thinks I am the one, he said this even before we met. Before we met he got rid of his friend / partner b/c he said their sex was no good and he could never change his sexual vices fort someone. We both clicked and after an amazing 4 days as soon as I left he got all freaked out.
He tells me he loves me and is scared to hurt me. He is confused and does not know what to do. He said he was not ready for this, for, to be everything he wanted. It has been 8 years since he has had sex with emotion and got everything he wanted....I gave him everything he wanted...and now he is a messed up not knowing what to do. We barely talk now b/c he is scared to lead me on in case he can't fix himself.

What do I do? I love him, I want him and I am so scared of loosing him? What do I do.....

Replies(4)

Mayhem1979

replied on June 10th, 2007

New User

Here is an email I just recieved from him

This is intense

very intense

sorry i didnt write back last night. i took some pills and passed the
medical question out. i love you. i really do. its freakin me out. im not ready
for this. i am really not. I was and still am really, totally
unprepared for this. and you were right when you said that you were falling
for a stranger. thats what it is. i love talking, i loved last week.
it was so intense. i am really not ok with myself, and what i want. i
dont think that what i want is whats best for me...or rather what i
thought i wanted. you helped me so much already...and we barely know each
other. i feel freakishly close to you, and want to maintain that...i
want to be here for you...i just cant handle anything more than
that..not now. i really need to figure caca out with myself...im gonna work
hard on it., but i cant be what you need to me to be..and i am not
comfortable with that fact.

i dunno..im rambling...i hate this anxious feeling..

i love you..and i am sorry that i am such a mess...

i hate myself for reasons like this..

ill talk to you soon i hope...

Birch

replied on June 10th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I love the whirl of new love...

Bipolars can be very, very immediately deep and passionate and devotional people. It makes for a great 'honeymoon period'.

If I were you, I'd enjoy the ride, make sure everyone is treated with the upmost respect (including yourself) and be careful. If things start getting hyper chaotic, make like a tree and leave. Give it more time. Don't allow yourself to be sucked into a vortex of crazy. Hypersexuality is a trait of bipolar people. This can be hard to change, and it might not have a thing to do with you.

Do some reading about bipolar, and take the time to get to know one another. I hope you find something beautiful.

Best of luck!

Mayhem1979

replied on June 10th, 2007

New User

Thank you.

I do not want it to be a honeymoon. I do love him. I know it's new. How do I show him I care withiout being pushy. He doesn not want lectures on what to do. He says he knows...He thinks he will never be normail he tells me to have no faith in him b/c he has none in himself.....

adamnoor84

replied on June 11th, 2007

New User

I Would Be Careful!

I had two friends the guy was Bipolar and the girl was not, anyway to cut a long story short! They both met through me, I am Bipolar and They Hit it off almost instantly they fell in love, He is aggressive sexually or she tells me, and he tended to be very controlling as when they started dating I began to lose my friend(The girl) by the day! He was very obsessive, very verbally abusive, and now they are broken up, my relationship with him began to collapse too! So in a sense I lost 2 friends at once! Anyway, my point is that, he hasn't been in love like that before that he did not know how to react, and you are telling us that this guy of yours did not have sex for 8 years! If I were you I would becareful, I am not saying don't jump in to the relationship but you should make sure you are happy and comfortable with the situation! If it starts to crumble, you have to be willing to leave at the first sign of trouble or you may find yourself like my friend! She almost went nuts, and she lost all her friends before she decided to put an end to it!

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