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How to Get Rid of Gay Feelings? (Page 1)

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I am 21(Male) and a college student. Since from my school days i am attracted towards same sex... I am confusing whether i am gay or not... I am also attracted towards opp. sex and mostly towards same sex... i masturbate by thinking of my beautiful boy frnd but i never had any illegal relationship with boys... and i am afraid of future. Whether it will crate any problems after marriage... i heard that gay and other sexual is due to genetics and why i punished for my ancestor's mistake. Is there any treatment for gay.ie to elimate the gay feeling and forced to think abt opp. sex... in our culture and religious gay is considered to sin and even having sex b4 marriage is also a big sin...
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First Helper temp
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replied June 7th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual. It's just how you're born. It's like being born with blond hair as opposed to brown hair. It's not a big deal. There's no "cure" for it because it is not a disease. It is in no way a punishment for anything anyone else did. Rather than trying to change what cannot be changed, I would suggest changing your attitude towards homosexuality and bisexuality.
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replied June 7th, 2007
Thx for your valuable words. I want to know whether i am eligible to marry a girl... May i satisfy her? My son will also be a gay? Whether it is possible to prevent him/her from becoming gay/lesbian?
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replied June 7th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
If being gay were hereditary, the gene pool would end, know what I mean? Think of sexuality on a continuum. On one end you have a strong attraction to women. on the other, a strong attraction to men. Somewhere along this continuum is you-from what you have said, perhaps somewhere in the middle. If you push the social stigma aside and follow your heart, you will find the answer that is best for you. I am married, monogamous, and consider myself to be right smack in the middle. I like women and men equally, but I have found my match, and he just happens to be male.
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replied June 7th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Silly is right. You can still marry and satisfy a woman if that is what you want to do. It sounds like part of you wants to get married to a woman and have a family, but it sounds like another part wants to be with a man. Nothing is wrong with either of those things. You just have to find out which one is right for you. I know it is easier said than done, but I would suggest thinking about what you want, not about what other people want to for you or what other people will think about you and your decision.

Maybe your children will be gay, maybe not. There isn't anything you can do or not do that will change that.
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replied June 8th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Would you really want to be married to a woman when you are attracted to men? Would you want to live your whole life with a woman wishing you were with a man?

Why not start a family with a man? There are many lovely children that need adopting. And it sounds like you might be happier that way. There is nothing wrong with being in a gay relationship. Same sex families can be just as happy as heterosexual families.
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replied June 8th, 2007
Thanks for all you guys... I had even consulted a psychiatrist for this problem(??!! Hereafter its not a problem at all) in my local area(Tamil Nadu, India) and even he himself didn't answer properly. I have even thought of suicide for being attracted towards gay. Actually when i was with my friends, i'll tease girls and really like it. I really feel gay thinking only when i am alone. So whenever possible i'll be with my friends.As a engineering student, i'll have several things to study, but i'll thinking of sex. There are so many medicines to increase the feelings of sex, but i wonder why no medicine for reducing the feelings for students, like me. I have abnormal sexual feeling, masturbating 4 or 5 times a day , even before the semester exam day, if i feel sexy... How to avoid excess(not normal ) sexual feelings and concentrate on study?I'll never share my sexual feelings with frnds, bcaz if they know i am a gay, i am sure that they wont even sit nearby me in bus/class room. Also, i'ts impossible for me to marry a boy in my culture.(suicide is 1000 times better than gay marriage, here). With your answers, i have concluded that i am bisexual, Since I am not attracted to all men/boys, only one or two extreme smart among 100 and almost all beautiful girls.Whenever i think of a smart boy, i'll visualize his ugly face/actions to hate him to get rid of gay feelings, right now.
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replied November 28th, 2013
i also having same feeling but i tried different thing to get out of it when ever u r getting the feeling u just start counting from 100,99,98...........1then 100,98,96,94............2 u wl feel relaxed and by this u can avoid the feeling
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replied June 8th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Being gay does not mean that you are attracted to all men out there. I am a straight (heterosexual) woman. I am only attracted to men. However, I am certainly not attracted to every single man out there. So you would be gay if you were attracted to men (that certainly does not mean you have to be attracted to all men), and you would be bisexual if you were attracted to both men and women (again, that does not mean you will be attracted to everyone in the whole world). You do not have to label yourself right away if you do not want to.

I hope you do not consider suicide again.

Keep in mind that different people and cultures have different opinions on homosexuality and bisexuality. So don't let your culture's views make you feel bad about yourself. Where I live, it's all usually very well accepted. People don't generally bother to hide their sexual orientation at all. A man could live with and share his life and bed with another men if he chooses to.

There isn't really a definition of a "normal" sex drive. Many men masturbate as much as you do. A sex drive is only considered abnormal if it is really interfering with your daily life, in which case there is not much you can do. You can try talking to your therapist about it if you haven't already though.
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replied June 10th, 2007
Once again thank you for your lucid answer. I have almost understand many of 'gay', still i have one doubt. So according to you any 'perfect' men/women will only attracted to opp. sex(not even a single person of the same sex). But in my class an extreme smart guy is studying with us. Virtually, almost all of our classmates(about 80 members) will try to 'touch' him for his handsomeness, including our staff. Whether all they are gay? Is there any generic ratio for gay.(afaik it is 1/10). Is it possible for someone to identify me as a gay without my knowledge?
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replied June 10th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
temp wrote:
Once again thank you for your lucid answer. I have almost understand many of 'gay', still i have one doubt. So according to you any 'perfect' men/women will only attracted to opp. sex(not even a single person of the same sex). But in my class an extreme smart guy is studying with us. Virtually, almost all of our classmates(about 80 members) will try to 'touch' him for his handsomeness, including our staff. Whether all they are gay? Is there any generic ratio for gay.(afaik it is 1/10). Is it possible for someone to identify me as a gay without my knowledge?


I don't consider any person to be "perfect" and sexual attraction absolutely has nothing to do with it. Being straight (attracted to opposite sex) does not make you "perfect". Being gay doesn't make you "perfect" either. That's a silly concept.

Many people are able to look at another person and say "That person is attractive". It doesn't matter if it is a girl looking at another girl or a guy looking at a guy. A man saying "That smart man is very attractive" doesn't make him gay.

You are the only person who can say if you are gay or not. You have to listen to your feelings.

Other people can say that you seem to act gay, but just because they say this, doesn't make it so. Only you can decide if you are gay.

Please don't try to get rid of your gay feelings. They are part of who you are, and if you try to hide them, then you are hiding part of yourself and you won't be able to be true to yourself. You will be living a lie.
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replied June 10th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I agree with Eiri. Being attracted to the opposite does not in any way mean someone is perfect. Being attracted to the same sex does not in any way mean that they are imperfect. It's just a preference. Kind of like preferring the taste of apples over oranges. It has nothing to do with how good of a person someone is.

No one will know for sure whether or not you are gay unless you tell them. Gay people have many differences since they are all individuals. They do not all act exactly the same way.

I am only attracted to men, but I can still tell you if I think a woman is smart or pretty. That does not mean that I am sexually attracted to her. It's kind of like saying a puppy is well behaved and cute. That does not mean I am sexually attracted to puppies, however! Laughing
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replied June 11th, 2007
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temp wrote:
Once again thank you for your lucid answer. I have almost understand many of 'gay', still i have one doubt. So according to you any 'perfect' men/women will only attracted to opp. sex(not even a single person of the same sex). But in my class an extreme stuff guy is studying with us. Virtually, almost all of our classmates(about 80 members) will try to 'touch' him for his handsomeness, including our staff. Whether all they are gay? Is there any generic ratio for gay.(afaik it is 1/10). Is it possible for someone to identify me as a gay without my knowledge?


We don't know of a genetic ratio for being gay, as there is not really a consensus on if it is a genetic thing at all or just how some people are born. (Which seems to be more likely). Because you are gay doesn't mean your kids will be, in other words. We also don't know how much of the population is gay because a lot of people (like you) are afraid to admit they are.

When more people are comfortable accepting gayness, then we will be able to research and learn more about it.
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replied June 15th, 2007
Dude, chill. You are who you are. Embrace it.

Hey, if you found yourself attracted to nature but wanted to be a city buy, would you still be complaining? Apples and oranges, I know but damn...

Be bi! Embrace it! Love it! It's fun!

"You must unlearn what you have learned" -Yoda

You have to let go of all the BS they fed you growing up that "gays are bad" or it's dirty or evil. Explore it. You might find that you like it.
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replied June 24th, 2009
To get a handle on your urges...Have sex with a man.
If it is an itch your had to scratch it will be over. Otherwise you might be Bi.
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replied June 29th, 2010
In all due respect being gay is WRONG we all know it deep inside,btw didn't the bible clearly says that a man lying with a man)R)having sex with a man is totally abomination in the sight of god?and yes my question to yall who r gay,why would a man leave a woman for a man that acts likes a woman and want to be a woman.THINK ABOUT IT.
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replied April 18th, 2013
I'm Gay and very happy about it. I'm also not Christian so I do not live by the Bible. You've made a great mistake in assuming that a gay man acts like a woman. Yes, there are effeminate Gays - no problem with that. Neither myself nor my partner are effeminate - and he had been unhappily married to a woman before he met me, denying his true sexuality.We're best friends and lovers, it's great! Men know what men want.
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replied August 27th, 2010
hey
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replied August 27th, 2010
hei temp,
me too from tamilnadu and i too have the same problem what u have.Even i cant able to control my feelings.Thinking of suicide and other thing is a stupid one.Its nature.Nothing wrong.But in our culture we cant able to expose these things in public.Thats the problem.I too attracted by my friend but i cant tell him.I can understand ur feelings.
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replied August 27th, 2010
kavala padatha machi..........
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replied August 30th, 2010
Experienced User
well, you ca get rid of your gay feelings, just associate with girls, try to focus on them and maybe it could divert your feelings...
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replied March 18th, 2011
to (Llewellyn),
i am gay im really attracted to men , i think this is all wrong, i have always wanted to be normal , im really depressed , desprate , ashamed of my self,and i cannot tell any one about this
what im trying to say that it is a diseas , i am gay and i really like to have sex with same gender but i really want to be normal , what should i do? is there any treatment? im from Egypt and its really illegal in here to be gay
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