Can Buddhist Meditation Manage Addiction? Posted: 06-07-07 11:40am
My partner battles 2 addictions: sex (100s
of mags and videos stashed away in the
attic) and shopping (finished paying off a
6-figure cc debt). He has since discovered
meditation and practises it for an hour or
longer each day. It seems to help. He has
become "mindful" of his actions and his
"egoic" self. My concern is related to the
benefits of a 12-step program in
conjunction with meditation. You see...
both of his addictions are something that
he conducts in secrecy, especially from
me. Isn't it important that he actually
participate in a 12-step program and says
those words out loud ,"I am a sex addict,"
to others, while depending on the group
for guidance when he is feeling weak?
Otherwise, he only has a non-accountable
method of managing his urges. And, I could
learn the hard way that he has rebounded
into previous, destructive behaviours. So,
is meditation enough? I'm so tired of the
lying.... Any advice?
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danielv
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2003 Posts: 79 Location: South East, Macedonia
Buddhist Meditation And 12 Step Programs Posted: 06-08-07 03:06am
different approaches work for different
people. meditation alone *can* have
remarkable results within a person's life,
however what is right or wrong for
somebody is very hard to determine.
some people have a harder time in a group
than others.
12 step programs do ultimately lead one
towards a continuous contemplation of
one's life, so whether he starts now or
later, it's one of the best practices he
can keep in his life.
however, you brought up some excellent
points, particularly about the
accountability issue, as well as the fact
that his behaviours are quite secretive.
although i would not recommend trying to
manage his recovery, perhaps if you do end
up in a discussion about the value of a 12
step program, you can bring up the fact
that empathizing with all life and
disclosing the self to another are
wonderful Buddhist practices.
in addition to your concern for your
partner, i would strongly recommend that
you continue to strengthen your own
support system. you will find this
extremely helpful in dealing with
situations as they come up.
the fact that you are here looking for
other people's perspectives is a wonderful
sign.
all the best,
-daniel
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shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 06-08-07 09:02am
Neworleanscalling…
I am an alcoholic and have been in
Alcoholics Anonymous for a few years, and
for what it’s worth, here are my
thoughts on your post and your partner.
Yea, I think meditation is very useful in
anyone’s life. Addict or not. I know
people in the program that expound it’s
benefits all the time. In fact the Big
Book of Alcoholics Anonymous uses the
words prayer and meditation more than
once. It works.
But… that may not be enough. When we
talk 12 step recovery programs, we are
really talking about identifying a power
greater than ourselves, and commencing to
do business with that power every day.
That is the heart of 12 step recovery.
You are right that he needs to say out
loud “I am powerless over (fill in the
blank),” but not so much to the group,
yea they are there, but he needs to say it
to his higher power. The group can’t fix
him, they can’t change his heart, but
this higher power, it can do wonders if he
is willing to make honest contact.
You are also right about secrets, we are
as sick as our secrets. The word honesty
shows over and over in the Big Book. Tell
the truth, that is what the old timers
told me when I first showed up.
Also did you know that another program
exists for people like you? Just as he
would benefit greatly from 12 step
recovery, so will you! Do yourself a favor
and look into Al-Anon. It is a 12 step
program for people like you who love
people like us.
Richard
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neworleanscalling
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 2 Location: Canada
Buddhist Meditation And 12 Step Programs Posted: 06-08-07 09:45am
Dear Daniel and Richard,
Thank you for your insight. I have a
junior understanding on the benefits of
meditation and see it as very beneficial.
But the continuous shocks of learning the
truth and then having to contend with
clumsy lies and backbeddling can be
nothing less than heartbreaking.
I will show him your thougths and look
into joining a meeting group.
Thank you for your help and sharing your
time ~God Bless~
~ I won't share my name to protect his
anonymyty at this time.
