You did the right thing by coming on the forum, especially if you can't talk to someone about your feelings.
I think what you need to do is find a program that works by doing diet and exercise in MODERATION! Starving yourself for two days isn't the answer, because then you binge because your body is hungry. Then you feel like a failure. Don't set yourself up like that. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. They are filling, and don't have NEAR the calories that other foods do. Start counting calories. It is much more rewarding and you'll see your weight come down a pound or two a week. Anything more than that could mean your losing muscle mass. Muscle helps burn fat, so you don't want to lose the muscle.
If you want to talk just pm me anytime!

thanks hawkeyes for your advice. I cant do it that way, I tried and once I eat I eat too much. So I have to do it a really strict way, but I dont have the self control it looks like. How do I get that? Loads of other girls have it.

I just purged about 30 times in the bathroom...lost count after 12, but i got rid of most of it...if not all of it because there was only stomach bile? coming out when I stopped. Good I dont feel sick or full now, still disgusted doing that and eating. I will try to exercise tonight at the gym.

I brushed my teeth a lot to get rid of any acid on them after doing this, but my throat is burning, should I just drink water to help that? This is a once off....hopefully because I want to fast and exercise to lose weight, not purge, so there wont be any long term damage from this purge I just did.

I have to lose weight, I have to be skinny....people are counting on me to look good its not just me wanting to be thin, they want me to be thin too. Im ashamed I only lasted on a fast for 2 days...

Believe me, you don't want to lose weight via eating disordered behaviors. I would never wish an eating disorder on anyone. Anorexia nearly killed me. I have pictures taken, at the time I was 21 years old, and I looked older than I do now, at 29, I looked like I was 40 years old in those pics. Yes, I was skinny, but I thought not skinny enough and that I still needed to lose weight.

Do it sensibly--weight watchers, south beach diet and start exercising and weight training. Purging will do a number on your teeth...but so will restricting you know. My teeth are horrible after anorexia, it strips the calcium from your teeth and causes them to break easily. In addition, the malnutrition caused me to develop a habit of clenching and grinding my teeth which I can't stop after recovery. I have broken several teeth and needed many crowns all as a result of my eating disorder.

Other aspects of it aren't fun either...including endless insomnia, I just couldn't sleep well at all, there were times I went 3 day stretches without sleep, your hair starts falling out, you can develop osteoporosis, it can cause you issues with fertility in the future if you want children (and some day you may marry and actually want kids, even if you don't now, I didn't start having desires to have children until I was 28 years old and thank God I didn't mess up my body so much that I couldn't get pregnant). You're weak and dizzy, you can't concentrate on much at all other than the ED...I love reading and writing and I couldn't do this for 5 years because of the grip the ED had on me. You don't have a life at all.

Please be careful and please be healthy.

honey, i remember when i was at where you were at. all i wanted to do was go a day without food. that was like my holy grail. wow. one day. no food. it was my focus and goal for so long, until every night at about eight oclock my body was desperate for food and did everything it could to eat.... and eat.. and eat. a few months later i tried to kill myself because this goal was so unattainable. now, two years later, im trying to recover from binge purge anorexia, not going to school, was in hospital for a bit over a month, and realising that the last two and a half years of my life, my adolescence, have been spent struggling with food and not eating and bingeing and purging, instead of exploring myself and learning who i want to be; establishing my identity. at the time i thought i would never let it go far, all i wanted was a day without food.

but you need to ask yourself, where do you go after that? im sure if i had of achieved it, my next goal would have been two days without food. three. four. five. a week. until im malnurished and on a drip in hospital.


please get help soon. please, dont get to my stage and look back at the years which are meant to be your best, and remember only the worst.
x

Keep a good attitude!! Im 15 and 275 pounds...i joined my schools football team becuse i know practice was going to help me get where i want weight wise...it takes time, go to your doctor and get help, you can get a workout plan and a good clean diet, i know im trying to reach my goal, just keep a good attitude, my weight doesnt keep my from meeting new ppl and being an overall cool person, it doesnt stop me from talking to girls i find attractive or anything, just be yourself and do whats right,

...Have you ever went through an entire day without hating yourself? I haven't. Every other girl I see...in school, on the street, at the mall...I am constantly comparing myself to that girl. "She's thinner, her stomach is flatter...her thighs are skinny..." The list goes on.

I am beginning to feel depressed. This time the feeling is not going away. I keep wondering why God created me like this. When I eat, I wish I didn't' When I have hunger pains I feel good about myself. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see what I truly am. I hate it. Every single bit of it.

I want to be a size 2...I want to be pretty. I just want to be someone other than myself.


It wouldn't hurt to have someone to talk to...

HI,

I DO UNDERSTAND WHAT U MEAN. BUT DONT FORGET U ARE AN INDIVIDUAL.


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