Sexual Health - Women Forum - Boyfriend Thinks I'm Obbessed With Sex !

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and the sex was great at first. We were both into each other and couldn't get enough of one another. I guess with time things change, but now it's getting to the point of actually hurting my feelings. I want to have sex about 3 times a week, not the usual 2 times that we do, and I get tired of what I call the "sex scheduel". He works first shift, I work second shift, so our scheduels are all off. When I'm in the mood, he's not. Sometimes I'm not in the mood (rarely) and he'll say something hurtful to me like "are you sleeping with someone?" just to get a rise out of me as he puts it. Then there are the times that I try to flirt and be sexy with him for like 3 days in a row, with NOTHING! When I finally start to get a little hurt over it he gets angry and tells me that I'm obbessed with sex and I'm not normal. He makes me feel like a total freak! He just doesn't seem to understand that I'm attracted to him, that's why I want the physical contact. Could he be right, am I not normal? I thought for being in my early 20's this sort of sex drive was normal. What can I do to make things better? Any tips would be greatly accepted.

Replies(5)

Georgia59

replied on June 6th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Your sex drive sounds perfectly normal. I would look at the marriage and relationship forums for more advice on this topic.

Llewellyn

replied on June 6th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Sounds like you have a normal sex drive to me.

The relationship forum was a good suggestion since this seems like an issue with your relationship more than an issue with your sex drive. It sounds like you and your partner do not have the same drive. Nothing is wrong with two people in a relationship having different sex drives if the people can work around it and compromise. If your partner is calling you abnormal and suggesting that you're cheating just to get a rise out of you, that does not sound like a sign of a healthy relationship.

fiona05

replied on June 7th, 2007

Supporter

i know exactly what you mean - when you love someone sex is not just sex, it is a bonding experience. make sure your boyfriend understands that this is the way you view it. the fact he has made these comments about you sleeping with other people suggests to me that he might have insecurity issues. perhaps he is aware that you want sex more than him and feels bad cos he thinks he cant please you. he feels insecure because he thinks you just want him for sex whereas what you really want is the intimacy. it's just a suggestion, maybe you could put his mind at rest.

your sex drive is totally normal. dont feel bad. just talk it through with him and explain that you find it hurtful when he says those things about you. talking to each other is the best way through any problem, i think. tell him how things are from your point of view but without putting pressure on him. maybe you could take the focus off sex for a while and on to other things. when things in your relationship are going well, the sex just tends to fall into place.

HAILEYTREYJORDAN

replied on June 10th, 2007

New User

Is He Cheating

Has the thought ever crossed your mind that he may be cheating on you? I wonder if he just wants to make you fel like you are obsessed with sex so you will fell bad if you thought about having sex with someone else. Men are tricky with words. Usually they tell on themselves in some strange way. I would think he was cheating.

bjmcfarland

replied on August 5th, 2007

New User

Obbessed With Sex

n_m_zia_girl,
I know exactly where you are. I was in the same situation for eighteen and a half years. It is very stressful and I was accused of cheating, It was worked out with the help of a counselor,so putting your self on a sex schedule isn't a bad idea. You know when you are going to have it and then you can plain for the occasion Laughing

and do something creative, hopefully that will put the spark back into your relationship. Until then just work on what you want and don't give up.

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