Girlfriend Having Trouble Obtaining First Orgasm

I highly doubt there is anything wrong with her. She sounds normal to me. It sounds like you are being too rough with her. Some women have a sensitive clitoris and rough or direct stimulation can get very painful very quickly. Try doing the same thing you have been, but a lot softer. I often have the same problem that she does during oral.

Well since I've been trying for a year now, I've tried doing it really really softly, and also a little bit more vigorously and quickly and it seems to have the same effect. Although I always lick the clitoral area, because I thought the clitoris needed the stimulation to get that type of orgasm, but I'm just a guy so I'm probably wrong. Any suggestions for indirect stimulation, or anything else?

Most women do need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. For me, direct stimulation is ok if the man is gentle during oral sex. Everyone is different though. Some people do not have a sensitive clitoris, so they never have this particular problem.

As for how to get around the issue if she is extremely sensitive, I am not too sure. Your best bet is to ask her. Have her guide you. Have her tell you what hurts and where. Since everyone is so different, it is tough to say what will work for her. The area around the clitoris is sensitive too, so you could try stimulating that without directly touching the clitoris much and see if that is enough to give her an orgasm. Make sure you're both communicating.

If that does not work, you can try things other than oral sex. You could try manual sex or vaginal sex, when you are ready if you are not at that point yet. I find that during vaginal sex, I never get that sore feeling that I get during oral sex. I do not get sore during masturbation either. It would probably help if she was willing to masturbate. It might help her guide you if she knew more about her body and what she liked.

Thanks for your advice, I just have to keep experimenting I guess. I just wanted to make sure this was normal. Do you think a vibrator would help or would it just make her sore faster?

Also, we have had sex already, but she tends to get sore during sex, too. However, I believe it's because we're usually busy so we don't get to do it very often, and she never gets loosened up (for the lack of a better phrase, unfortunately). Does that sound feasible to you?

the term you are searching for is 'aroused'. not 'loosened up'.

if your girlfriend is not sufficiently aroused before having sex then this can be painful. it is also possible that she does not produce enough lubrication during sex, and the friction is hurting her. if this is the issue, then investing in a tube of lubricant should solve this issue.

is she specific about where it hurts during sex? deep inside? her vaginal opening? her clitoris?

if she hurts deep inside then it is likely your penis is hitting her cervix. if her vaginal opening hurts this could be caused by rough sex or by a lack of lubrication. if her clitoris hurts during sex then she must have a very sensitive one. it sounds strange, but very occasionally when me and my boyfriend have sex my clitoris might get sore because his big wirey pubes are rubbing against it! it doesn't happen often, but if she is getting clitoral pain during sex, this could be a possible cause.

you always have to bear in mind just how sensitive the clotoris is. some studies have suggested it may be 14 times more sensitive than the head of a penis. when you are going down on her be .e.x.t.r.e.m.e.l.y gentle. more so than you have ever been. don't go harder and faster when you think she is going to reach orgasm, just be gentle and tender. instead of stiffening your tongue, use it flat. if you want to use the tip use it really carefully and softly because it could cause pain if you flick it over the clitoris. in short, just try changing techniques a little.

as for the vibrator question, i say go for it. in my opinion, if anything is more likely to bring her to orgasm it is a vibrator. you can get fairly inoffensive small ones that aren't going to scare you or her!

if you would like any more help feel free to pm me.

I have never had an orgasm from oral or manual stimulation. (Not that I don't like it, I just don't reach orgasm) But I have no problem reaching orgasm from sex if I am well aroused and we spend plenty of time doing it. If she does ahve a really sensitive clitoris, she will probably need indirect clitoral stimulation. Try rubbing her clit through her labia. Just gently pull the labia over the clit and massage it a little or lick it.

Mostly though, I would try sex but you have to make sure she is well aroused . Spend at least 15 minutes on foreplay, or until she is practically pulling you into her- let her decide when she is really ready. If she is not ready or relaxed, it will hurt and she will be sore after and she will not reach orgasm. Trust me... women deal with this all the time.

There is nothing wrong with her. It's a common problem. Just keep trying things!! And vibrators are wonderful, just never use it directly on her clit (it sounds like that would hurt her as well but you could use the labia trick) I think buying her one would be wonderful. I wish all men were as sensitive as you.

I agree with the others. If she is getting sore during sex, it might be an issue of not having enough lubrication. You can buy some at the store if you haven't already tried it. Look for one that says "water-based."

Ask her more about the pain and where it is. Like the others said, it could be the cervix, clitoris, or the inside of the vagina in general. All of those are normal though, so you don't have to worry about anything being wrong with her from the sound of it.

I have never orgasmed from oral sex, I orgasm most from masturbation and through penetration being on top of a male partner, facing each other and kissing.