Wow, that is a hard one, for once I dont think I know what to say

What really scares me about your situation is that I fear at some point he could turn that violence onto you. He sounds like he is very insecure and has a massive control problem. I'm not saying your boyfriend is going to abuse you but many men who have control issues turn to abuse to gain even more control over their women. Here are some warning signs that I hope you don't take offense to that I found ((its long!!)):
is your partner controlling? Is it hard for you to understand the difference between caring and control, or are you in denial because you love him or her? Control has nothing to do with love or care, but has everything to do with lust for power, fears and insecurity. It is common for controlling partners to claim that they behave that way because they love you so much, but love is not about imprisoning your individualism. Love is accepting you for who you are and giving the freedom you need to grow as a person and accomplish your life goals.



Extreme jealousy is a big sign that a partner will probably become controlling jealousy is an expression of insecurity that your partner has in him or herself and it has nothing to do with you personally. Unless you give your lover good reason to feel jealous, there is no right reason for them to take their insecurities out on you and you should talk to them about it early in the relationship before it gets out of control.



Keeping track of where you go and for how long is a sign of control. By knowing where you go and dictating how long you can be out, your partner feels relieved because they feel in power of the relationship. However, relationships are not about having power or being in charge- it is about working together and respecting each other.



If your partner tells you what to wear or constantly criticizes you for what you are wearing until you go change, he or she is keeping you from expressing your personality and style, which would be another sign of control. If this happens to you, it is important that you talk to your partner and tell them that you feel good about the way you dress and it is an expression of who you are- and you do not believe in changing that and need them to accept you.



Telling you who you can and cannot be friends with is not okay and it is a decision you should be able to make yourself. Giving an opinion and telling you what to do are two different things. Your lover has a right to their opinion and suggestions, but cannot be the one to make choices for you, for it would be robbing you of your personal rights.



The behavior of scrutinizing everything you do and directing you on what you can and cannot do is an obvious sign that your partner is controlling you. He or she may claim they do this because they love you and are looking out for you- but this is not the real reason. Telling you what to do all the time is about fear. Your partner is afraid of not having full control over everything that happens in their life, so they feel they are securing themselves from unpredictability and unpleasant surprises by keeping close watch on you.

Hey hun, sorry to say but it sounds like an abusive relationship. I don't mean physically. I understand that he makes you happy but do you want someone controlling your life? Do you think he makes you happy because you have low self esteem? I applaud those guys for getting on his ass about disrespecting you. No guy has a right to do that. None. You don't even wanna know what I would do if anyone ever spoke to me in any manner such as the one you described. And if he heard the whole thing, and heard you make it clear you weren't available, why did he go off like that? Girl I think maybe you should try getting your guy some counseling because it does not sound like yall r headed down a happy road. But it might be fixable! I don't mean to sound blunt or rude, those are by noe means my intentions, but I just think you need to look out for yourself and maybe stand up for yourself once in a while. Because he doesn't want you to hang out with all your friends....Are you ok with that? My mom always told me "boyfriends will come and go but real friends last forever" this guy could dump you one day (not saying he will) and then you might be left with no friends to turn to. Now I know that nobody wants that. But please look into counseling because it really sounds like your boyfriend is abusive. Keep us updated......If he ever touches you tell him ill open a can of whoop-ass on him! Lol. After I have this baby......Good luck hun. I really hope I didn't offend or scare you.

Guys suck. I'm in a relationship....That (yes nikki) I know I shouldn't be in. No it isn't physically abusive, it's just..... Not a good one to be in, but it's so hard to get out! I'd love to talk if you ever need anything! Send me a pm or e-mail me
love,
chanda

Okay, I know a lot of people probably think you should leave him but I dont. What I think is he is too jealous. You cant just tell him not to be jealous and expect him to stop. I think maybe you should go to counseling together. He probably has security issues he needs to deal with. That is my opinion.

Well sometimes when ur serious with a guy like sexually b4 marriage they get like that...

But theres no trust for u.. I know how it feels.. I guess when u give urself to a guy, they think "whats stoppin her from goin and doin that with another guy now that I got her(in my case, even tho I said I was waiting til marriage) I dont know if this applys to u but like they get possesive sometimes..Dans like that sometimes but I love him so much I do almost n e thing I gota to make him happy..

If its really worth it..Stick to it..And def. Tell him how u feel about it all


love mol

I agree with kissy there is no way I would let anyone talk to me the way u are describing, I have more respect for myself than to be degraded especially in public like that and even more when there is no reason for that sort of behaviour.

Ur not his property and even if they were hitting on u he has no right to tell them to get lost he should trust u enough to say look im with him and walk away. I would be getting out and not looking back, I dont care wot anyone says if u have to at any point suck up or apologise for something that u feel u shouldnt then I say dont, women deserve to be respected whether or not u have had sex with them before or after marriage.

From someone who cant wait to have a jellybean all of their own