I currently have the diagnosis of:
- Anorexia Nervosa: restrictive subtype
- Major Depressive Disorder with many attempts of suicide
- Generalized Anxiety
- Borderline Personality disorder
- anemia, acid reflux

I am 5'1". And I'm 80 lbs. I was told my healthy weight would be around 110 or so. People tell me I am very skinny and unhealthy looking and pale all the time. I have fainted many times with regards to not eating or dehydration. I've been to emergency rooms a lot of times. Avg I would say about 1 or 2 times per week.

I'm getting admitted in 2 weeks into a extra care unit for renourishment designed for people with eating disorders. I will be tube fed and expected to try to eat something. I will also be receiving IV fluids and mineral/vitamins.

With my extensive mental/physical problems, and me being a strict vegetarian, my care team says my condition doesn't look promising and may require longer than the usual admission time which is 3 weeks. I have a super high metabolism. I lose weight when I sleep. And I've been losing more weight lately because of stress. I take a lot of medications for my psychiatric illnesses as well for my acid reflux problem.

I've been anorexic for about 5 years, but never got diagnosed of it until about 3 months ago because it wasn't really full blown until now.

I have mixed feelings of being admitted into the hospital. I'm very anxious and scared and also not eating as much, though I already don't eat much. I am worried about a lot of things. With a lot of sleeping medications, I am not able to fall asleep.

I'm torn between wanting to get better and knowing I need treatment and wanting to just leave it as it is and fade away slowly. I've been in the hospital for psychiatric treatment for 6 months last year, and I'm not really looking forward to this admission, because I know it will be long, but maybe not quite as long as 6 months. I don't want to spend my 19th birthday in the hospital again as I did with my 18th birthday.

I don't know if this helps anyone to know that they are not alone. I am open and free to talk to anyone in need. I also want to say that, as a supporter, I truly wish to support everyone and help others deal with health problems.

I wish everyone the best!