What Should I Do?

I'm a 16 year old male that has left school for a coures in July and has ADHD. I've been feelign depressed for over 4 years now, when i was 12 - 13 i used to cut my self to punish myself for thinking i was a loser. I stopped that when my mum walked into my room and caught me. After that i was put on a anti depressent called fluoxide as i recall. I felt fine when i was on that during the day but not in the evening when it seemed to wear off. After 6 months my parents took me off it thinking i wasnt depressed. After all that time i still am. The reasons i think im depressed is because im so alone.. my friends never talk to me anymore where as they used to call me each day now if im lucky i will get a single text each year if i want to come over for fireworks (last year i stuffed it up and got sent home because i accidently set fire to a hill :'() i havent had a girl friend in over a year and even if i did get one i would not have the self esteem or confidence to tell her how i feel, even now i feel scared to write this incase i get put down, my parents say maybe 2 words to me a day "good morning" "good night" and I spend almost 24/7 on the computer trying not to think of who i am and why im so alone.
The only thing that keeps me going is that on my course i will make a friend or when im older i will be able to go to a bar and socialise.
I have thought of suicide many times but the closest i came to it is when i drank a full bottle of rum and 8 bottles of 5% beer and vommited several times in my sleep. The rest of the times i contemplate suicide i think im trying to get attention from my self by thinking it and it makes me feel even worse.
I dont want to tell my parents how i feel because it isnt how our family works my dad suffered from depression and it crushed my mum i dont want to put her through that again. I wish i had a friend that could support me though i dont. My only friend is 14 years old and still goes to my old school i think our friend ship will eventually fail.
I would like to go to a doctor and tell him how i feel so i can be subscribed to a medication but i dont have the confidence to do so in case my parents find out. If any body could please give me some advice on what to do i would appreciate it so much :'(

- Anonymous