I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how much you must hurt, as I've gone through several of those myself (I'm 50 years old, didn't get married until I was 3.

Based on what you've written, there appears to be some kind of disconnect around the two-year mark. Looking over the past, is there anythng you can think of that happens to change the dynamic?

It's nice to fall madly in love with someone at the beginning but after awhile things have to come back to center. When they do you really see the person for who s/he is--it's the same in any kind of friendship. You don't really have a friendship until you've weathered some storms.

Emotional relationships can get very difficult, I don't mind saying. It's so easy for sex to get tangled up into it because, while it is a great way to make up, it's the worst reason to stay together.

I moved 1000 miles away because of a guy (and I was 29 back then). He was my best friend's cousin and when she told him I was coming to his neck of the woods he offered his hospitality. I accepted and to say we hit it off was a major understatement. I was there for a week and we both cried the day I had to leave. The minute I got in to the door I called him and I think we spent I don't know how long professing our love and telling each other how lonelywe were.

I decided that if we were going to have a relationship I would move down to him and I did. I went into it knowing I had a 50% chance of it moving ahead. What I didn't realize (or wouldn't realize) is that the glitter started to rub off before I moved there.

Not long after I got down there the differences started manifesting themselves and over time I realized that our differences were greater than what we had in common. The relationship limped along for a few more months and finally died after Valentine's Day (I had moved down the previous September). I don't really know who dumped whom in my case, I just know that I went on a tremendous emotional high for six weeks after it ended. I think I'd cried for so long before that when it finally ended I was all cried out.

Not that it still didn't hurt--I missed the good times a great deal. I also realized I had to move on.

I don't understand why you're continuing to live together for two more months (if I read your post correctly). How does someone decide that s/he wants to move out of the country from out of the blue? Either this person just wants to get out of the relationship under a big lie or he's been planning this for awhile.

Is there anything you can do to start putting space between you? Can you move out or have him leave? Is the lease in both your names? If you can't afford to move or to buy him out is there someone who can take you in for awhile?


If he treated you the best of all the bfs you've had, sister, I am sorry for you. When you moved to be with him was there some kind of understanding or promise when you got there? Were you expecting somehing from him that he might not have been wanting/williing to provide? Did you talk this over before you moved?

If I'm reading your post correctly, you met him, decided you couldn't be without him and upped and moved to be with him? How long did you know him before you decided to move away?

As painful as it is, you must cut the tie NOW. Get him out of your life, mourn your loss, lick your wounds and move on. Perhaps you have a trusted friend or a mental health professional to whom you can talk? Maybe there's something unconsciously being done to derail the relationships. Can you find some commonality in the guys you've been seeing? You're not just going from rebound to rebound to keep from being alone, are you?

It's scary to be alone but you have to know what *you* want out of life, the universe and everything. The only way you can do this is to decide for yourself what way(s) you want to go. What you will accept and what you will not, period. Much of that comes from serious self-examination (a mental health professional might be able to help in this case). Do you have any kind of support network out there that can help you through your sadness? I didn't when I broke up with "him"--all of his friends who were so kind to me when I first moved down dropped me. I wasn't surprised--when I was with them I felt like the outsider and they really never did anything to make me feel like I was part of the group.

Good luck and do keep posting. I'm here and would be happy to listen.

what made the guy leave you? you have to see things and deal with them accordingly. There should've been a reason behind the break-up. Look for the answer. Probably it's the guy, or it's you. what's in you that made other guys leave you? answer these questions. Ask you ex . . . communicate with him. Only will you able to correct everything if you exactly know the root cause of everything . . . probably not with him, but with another man . . .

Look we don't know you to tell what can be wrong with you but you may want to read the book "why men marry health forum" by sheryl argov. It helped me to understand some mistakes i did in previous relationships.

I haven't read any of the responses yet so forgive me if I repeat something that was already said.

Have you both sat down to talk and figure out what the problem is?maybe you could make a list of things that are different since he moved in?thats really all I can tell you without more detail with it.I know it hurts so bad to get dumped and even worsewhern it happens for almost the same reason everytime.Pm me to talk if you would like,i'll listen!

Hello,

I wanted to say sorry for your lost, I know that breaking up is very hurt on us!! I agree that maybe sitting down and talking to your partner would be a good idea, ask him what your doing wrong, and how you can fix the things thats going wrong?? I feel he needs to give you more time, and talk it over before he just up and leave!!! Good luck.