Who Am I ! ?

I havnt had anyone to talk to in years about my depression. I had an experience whe i was a kid, that made me want to keep things to myself. My counselor told me i was lying after I admitted to her i was being molested. Ever since then I was scared to talk to anyone, even my family. My family is full of addicts. I grew up in many homes. Anywho I met someone I thought was great and the'd make me happy. I moved to be with them and we never actually moved in together. Now that were making plans, I dont know if I even want to. I wouldnt win either way. I have no friends here, no family anywhere. I know what lust is, but I dont really know how to love and what its like to be loved. I know how relationships should make you happy. But i dont know who I am anymore. Everythig about him ive grown to hate. He made me wait almost 2 years to move in. im happy not being around him but i dont know if breaking up is the right thing to do. I dotn know what makes me happy.