Its seems like every day is the same. I have a mental problem and every day i think suicidal because i cant F'n stand it. I see things in a different way ever since i got heavy into drugs. I used 2 snort coke and smoke weed for 2 yrs in highschool every day. I Quit then started again smokin bud every day and poppin pills then met the wrong guys n started tweaking..prob for like 5 months and even got so messed up i huffed spray paint. I have been clean 4 over 5 months now and ever since then my perception on life in general hasn't been the same. Doctors say there's nothin wrong with me but thats jus F'n B.S.
when im having a conversation with 1 person or more theres more than wut their literally saying..its like i can understand a whole diffrerent meaning 2 wut they say. And its SO F n strange i Dont get it at all. Im wondering if i just do sum coke again i'll think normal but idk. Now i just try 2 figure out every day but dont happen. I end up getting drunk. Then its the same caca over n over im really losing my mind. I just think it ain't real and its a dream or im dead.maybe this is heaven or hell..who really knows.its got 2 the point where i just dont Give a F ne more. If i die tomorrow then good.Sh** Never changes anyway. So Live It Up!