Okay so i vented in my last post but me and brian went at it last night. He refuses to talk about his past with me and it is so frustrating!! I feel like he is hiding stuff from me and he tells me no, i just do not want to talk about my past. I realize guys are different then girls but omg! Im his wife! Why cant he just tell me whats he has gone through in life!? I mean it all is over him telling me he was cheated on and that he knew how it felt to be betrayed. I was like who, when, how? and he just refused to even give me and idea. It hurts so bad and it feels like he is holding stuff back and even after crying, and telling him how horrible it makes me feel that i dont know whats happened in his life and how i know its stupid but i just want to feel like i know more about him, and how it feels like there is a wall he wouldnt budge and tell me. I mean if it is that important to me why cant he just say it? Then the kicker is in the middle of this argument where im really upset he falls asleep!! what!! I realize he has to wake up at 5ish every morning and it was late but it really hurt my feelings that he would just fall asleep when i was so upset. Then i look at his text messages last night ( Okay okay i know im horrible but im really scared to be cheated on again and i do it after he is asleep so he wont know) and there is a text back and forth from this guy at work. there talking about how one of the girls that works for him keeps talking about what a nice ass he has and how hot he is. and then brian says well tell her it's twenty bucks to touch it. now, i know he was kidding but jesus that made me feel ill to read. Im just so so so scared of being hurt and it feels like the more i try to talk to him the more im pushing him away.. What if i push him so far into the arms of another women? Im just so scared of being hurt. Hes promised me so many times he would never do that to me but now i see that there are females going after him at work and he i thought that he told me everything but he never told me about that, even if it is stupid it hurts he didnt tell me about it. Basically when i get stressed out i dont eat much and my stomach gets super upset and i have to use the bathroom a lot. Ive lost 6 lbs this last week and a half and im 33 weeks pregnant (Im still eating i promise girls) but what scares me is that my stomach looks noticeably smaller now.. Some reassure me please!! I know its part me being insecure/hormones but he left for work and has to work over night until tomorrow morning and when he left i was still upset.


PS hes in the marine corps so why i freak about girls at work is that when he deploys to another country he will be living with these females in iraq. this is where and how i got cheated on before, when my husband was in iraq with a female in the military. my best friend is in the army and i love her but she even agrees with me when i say 90% of these girls are shady, and sluts. They dont give two sh!ts if hes married with a baby on the way, which is common knowledge.