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mc4ever02 Extremely eHealthy
May 23rd, 2007
I suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome from a sexual assault a few years ago. (which has since manifested itself into a mild case of social anxiety disorder.(More specifically a fear of being touched))

I was in an auto accident just over a year ago. Due to an insuffeciant settlement offer, my husband and my attorney decided that litigation would be our best route. I am really relapsing due to this. All I want to do is sleep....all the time...or cry. That seems to be all I do. There is allot of talk about depositions and court. I'm really starting to flip out. I really don't think I can do it agian. The first time was absolutely horrible. The intire point was to go after my credibility and I haven't always been the best person. I just don't know how I'm going to go through this process agian.

On top of this, my husband and I are trying to start a family. We have hit a few bumps along the road and I don't think that all this added stress is going to help the situation at all. Which makes things worse.

I'm sorry, I know this is just kind of rambling. And I'm not really sure what the point is....I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me everything will be ok.
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kkaylalynn
replied May 23rd, 2007
Depression
I dont know much about depression for I am only 16. But I do know that you can get through it with a positive attitude and the thought that you can do it and get through this. Stand tall and keep your head up high. Its good that you want to talk to someone and get your feelings out. I feel that helping you will help me knowing what many other people are going through this too. Set high standers for yourself. You can get through this, I will keep you in my prayers. Remember stand tall!
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mc4ever02
replied May 23rd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Thank you for your kind words. I really knew all of that, I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you again.
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musikmaker
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I am here for you girl. I have somewhat suffered from slight depression because my dad died when I was a teenager and it was extremely rough on me. If you ever need to vent or talk to me I am always here. Remember that I also went down the long road of ttc and I know that it is not fun.

Keep you head high because you are an amazing person and I wish you only the best in life.
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HcoBrunette06
replied May 24th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
i don't know what to say to help but we love you and we're always always always here!!!!
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mc4ever02
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Thanks you guys. You really don't know how much it means to me.

I think its been so hard because I have gone off all my meds. I'm going to call my doctor and ask if there is anything safe for me to be on. Hopefully, that will help some.
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ShiningShannon
replied May 24th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
I posted a reply in the chat forum, would you like it to be added here?
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mc4ever02
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
ShiningShannon wrote:
I posted a reply in the chat forum, would you like it to be added here?


I read it there, and thank you.

I know I must sound so needy. But, It's just really hard for me and It helps, more than any of you will ever know, just to know there are people that will be there for you to cry to when you need it.

Thanks agian.
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ShiningShannon
replied May 24th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
mc4ever02 wrote:
ShiningShannon wrote:
I posted a reply in the chat forum, would you like it to be added here?


I read it there, and thank you.

I know I must sound so needy. But, It's just really hard for me and It helps, more than any of you will ever know, just to know there are people that will be there for you to cry to when you need it.

Thanks agian.


We are here when you need it. Its not needy, it human. We need eachother and we can all relate to one thing or another..especially when it comes to hard times, we all have em. It's good to have supportive people to lean on.
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Willa Weintraub
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
you know you can always talk to us girl.I'm sorry your having a rough time and I really hope thigns start to look up for you soon! Smile
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Amber*Marie
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
hey I have the same thing beause of sexual assault. Ive had it since 12 but didnt do anything about it till i was 14. It makes me life hard because theres times where I dont want to be touch in anyway. I have even tried to commit suicide when I was younger because I felt like no body loved me because I was dirty from his touch. I was taking zoloft when I was younger then switch to cymbalta but quit taking because of being pregnant. I was given lexapro after birth but did nothing for me so I quit. My whole family can tell a difference since being off it so I need to start taking something again. I just hate depending on meds, ya know? I defintly know how you feel on that part. if you ever need to talk to me Im here. I defintly know how you feel!
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mc4ever02
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I'm sorry that you have had to go through this as well.

This might sound like a stupid question, but, when you were pregnant did things seem to stablize some? My doctor said it is common for you to kinda overcome alot while pregnant.
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miasmamma
replied May 24th, 2007
Experienced User
I am really sorry you are going thru this. It's not easy to over come the issues that come with being sexually taken advantage of, Be it molestation, rape or harrassemnt. It often gets hard to be alive and to function in this world knowing that there are people out there that could/would do such things. I know how hard it can be to face the world as i have too everyday, and having a child didn't make it any easier. it infact made it much harder because now i have to think that this could and might very well happen to her too. I don't have a choice and neither do you, love. You have to step out because if you don't then he/it wins. You are stronger than that and you have a wonderful (so it seems) husband that is there for you. He may not understand what you are going through but i believe that he is there to lift you up and help you. Go to court hun and take a step out of your comfort zone. Your a strong independant woman and you need to take your life back. I know its easier said than done because i haven't gotten there yet, it will be 10 years since i was assulted, but i am taking the steps to getting there. Please don't let 10 years go by and then realize that you are still in the same spot as you were after the incident took place.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers love.

I wish you well.
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Amber*Marie
replied May 24th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
mc4ever02 wrote:
I'm sorry that you have had to go through this as well.

This might sound like a stupid question, but, when you were pregnant did things seem to stablize some? My doctor said it is common for you to kinda overcome alot while pregnant.



Im going to answer this honestly. No, it made things worse for me. For some reason it made me have flashbacks all the time!! When ever that started happening, i was 8 weeks, i totally turned against Joey. I even hated my dad. Any man I seen made me sick at my stomach.Sad I didnt trust any of the "safe" depression meds that you can take during pregnancy. About a week after having .Mel it was back to the way I was before. I rarly have flashbacks now. Things are alot better with me and joey. Im guessing the hormones triggered everything. Im so glad I have a man like him. He stayed by my side 100%!! I feel bad for being like I was but theres really no way to control it.
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Idony
replied May 25th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
i know its not all that much comfort but ive been through simmilar situations (not with the court thing, but the other thing)

its a good thing you can at least talk about it, ive been dealing with post tramatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder, and a slew of other "social" and "mental" problems because of what i went through

ive never been able to handle people touching me, when i was little it was so bad that if someone came too close to me that i didnt know i would completely breakdown and freak out

so if you ever need anyone to vent to and you dont want to do it publicly im here for you

~alicia~
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