How Do You Tell Your Partner You Want a Baby?

Welcome to .ehealth!

My name is .christy I'm 21 and currently ttc our 1st.

I think you should be honest. Just come right out and tell him you are ready to start a family. Are you to married? Or engaged? Do you live together?

Honestly, I make more than he does and my dh makes much more than I do, and we will be struggling once a little one comes along. So, you really should sit down and do all the math and make sure you are financially ready.

Hi welcome to ehealth!!!

My name is gabby and i am 23 (next month) currently ttc #1 also.

I think that if you are ready to be a mom you should talk it out with ur partner. Having a baby is such a responsibility and i agree that you should do the math. But if you decided that u are ready then you should talk to urpartner and let him know exactly how you feel. Good luck!

Let us know what the out come is so you can be in the club here with the us ttc girls.

thanks you guys, well i make $300 a month im a waitstress, but i dont know we are engaged and practically live together. hmmm what is a ttc? i think i might already be pregnant but im not sure just alot of pain in my stomach and nausea and increased appetite and tired. But if not me n him have been using the pull out method for 4 years and still havent go pregnant so that mean hes really good at it? or does that signify a problem with me or him???

ttc means trying to conceive. Well I think that after that long of using the pull out method, it is a possibility that he is really good at it because my sister did not want to get on birth control after she had my niece and she is 5 yrs old. All of this years they have been on the pull out method and it has worked so maybe it has just worked for you. But if you want to have a baby, you should try for a few months then if u notice that nothing is happening then i would recommend that u see a dr just to make sure nothing is wrong. They say that it takes a healthy couple at least a year to have a baby so after you have a year trying then i would worry. I am going on 11 months trying and nothing so this month of June i am off the dr cause i am desperate to be a mommy already. Well good luck and keep us updated.

Hi there. Welcome to the club. Well good luck with the ttc.

I would really like to have a baby. I am 32 and my partner is 41. I am worried though as his brother was downs and died in childhood. I dont want to leave it much longer and increase the chances of this. We have discussed it but he isnt bothered yet and thinks 35 is a good age for me to have our first child. He also wants to be married before starting a family but doesn't seem in much of a hurry with asking me that either, and we dont live together even! he talks of when we are older as though we have two+ 10yr old kids running around but doesnt appreciate he has to think about it now if he wants it then! My friends all had kids 5+ years ago - I ve wanted this a while and have waited but I think we have to start trying soon as it may take time to concieve.
You may have guessed he does call the shots in our relationship and what he says goes! as for accidents - its not going to happen! We use the withdrawl method and hes obviously too good at it!
I dont want to scare him but I have to say it as I really want it but I wonder how to actually get my point across! Anyone got any good pursuading pointers?

There are a couple of issues here.
Most causes of Down's Syndrome are not genetic; ii is usually caused by mistake in cell division during the development of the egg, sperm or embryo. So his having a brother-in-law with it does not mean that you will have a child with it. Even if his brother does have the genetic type, Translocation Down's Syndrome, there is only a 3% chance of a child having it when the father carries the gene. (There is a 12% chance of the child having it if the mother carries the gene.)
I hate to be so blunt but it sounds like he is not ready to commit to you in any way- whether by marriage or by having a child. I would not give him an ultimatum but I would have a serious discussion to find out what each of you wanted and expected from the relationship. You could start by each answering this question: Where do you see us/ our relationship in five years? If he sees you still possibly dating with no kids, then you need to decide if you want to wait another five or more years to have the family you desire. But I don't think you should pressure him into having a child. Everything else in a relationship can be negotiated but having a child is an all or nothing thing. You either really want one or you really don't. It would not be fair to him or the child for you to 'accidentally' become pregnant. (To be honest, you're the first person I know of that the withdrawal method works for, so I'm very surprised that an accident hasn't already happened.)

Thanks Deteragram, Its reasurring about the downs stats. As for the withdrawl method being a success I guess that is because when we first started having a sexual relationship I was honest then that I wanted kids. I explained that I didnt want to go on the pill anymore but condoms were fine. I also was truthful that if I became pregnant I would not abort and would have the child. I put the ball in his court contracption for once would not be my responsibility. He accepted this and as not fussed on condoms chose withdrawl.
I spent years on the pill and used condoms too not just to prevent STI's but in long term relationships too as I did not want to be pregnant until I was financially stable to raise a child. I am now,even on my own if necessary (not my desire but even my 'very solid' folks split after 25 years and it was a struggle for them to support us). I guess withdrawl works for him as he is making very surfe it does!!
The crux is the commitment I guess, I did ask him a while ago about the 5 year thing which is how I know he has thought about it and my perfect age of having children being 35. I love him and cant imagine leaving him but my desire to have children is so powerful I am begining to think the three years hes has set is just stalling. I guess I need to ask him again, I dont want to be an old mum and I dont want to find out in three years time he still wont commit to me or our relationship, let alone children. He would be such a good father it would be such a shame if he never has any children and I guess that is what I worry about too. I can still in theory have kids for a while yet but I dont want to be drawing my pension at the same time as dropping the kids off to school and he will be doing that soon er than me. I want him to be fit enough to be an active father! I guess I am just frustrated that he doesn't see the bigger picture.
Your post was helpful - sad but true. Thanks.

You're welcome, lemoncurd. I hope things work out for you.