Relationships and Marriage Forum

meblonde01

replied on May 21st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Marital Assets

echovnc wrote:

Before we got married, which hasn't been too many months now, we signed a prenuptial agreement. Both of us wanted it, in fact, she asked for it before me. We both have assets before marriage. Mine accounts for 3/4 of what we have. Saturday, we went to the dealership and I bought her a new car and paid for it in cash. She traded her truck in and that did pay for 1/3 of the price and I paid the other 2/3. Afterwards, we went to eat and she brought up the fact that it was put into both of our names, while becoming very upset in expressing it, and that if we divorce, I would be eligible for half of it and would I take it. I replied no and was shocked. Afterwards, she started insisting that I add her name to my vehicle which I don't have a problem with, fair is fair. After that, she started wanting me to add her name to all of my accounts. The prenup specified that we both have to leave our before assets in our own names, otherwise it is void and the other in entitled to half upon divorce. Today, she added me as a beneficiary to her account, but doesn't actually add my name to it, which that's ok with me. My accounts don't have a beneficiary clause. She never brought up about adding my name to her house, which is the asset she has and is fully paid for. I had my house fully paid for too, which I sold to move in with her, and that is some of my money. She wants her name added to that account for one. I believe if her name is on that account, my name should be on the house.

It has really hit me wrong here. I have thought that to calm her down, we would have a postnup written up guaranteeing her the vehicle. Hopefully, that would ease her mind. This is my first marriage and I stayed single for so long because all women ever wanted from me was what I would buy them. I thought, I hope, she is different. Have I fallen into a trap?

what state are you in? I know here in Michigan it does not matter what names is on the house or accounts it is half if there is a divorce.
I think the prenuptial might work for what you had before you got married, but depending on the state I think eveything purchased after marriage,"no matter who's name is on it" is split half.. Like I said it might be differnet in your state.
I think maybe the fear is just there because of the new car. I would not worry about it to much. You might just cause stress on your relastionship that isn't even needed. Ask her is she would feel better with a postnup over the vehicle. But don't dwell to much on all of this, you will cause problems between you. And it's not worth it!

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Willa Weintraub

replied on May 21st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

wow, it sounds a little odd that she would marry you and worry abour something like this.didn't you two talk about this before you did it?I would sit her down and ask why sheis so upset by this and wonder if she is planning on a divorce anytime.I would be very carefulk about what you do. follow the prenump rules to keep things from geting ugly.I would tell her if she doesn't like it too bad, you both agreed and signed the papers.

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echovnc

replied on May 21st, 2007

New User

~*~Melissa~*~ wrote:

wow, it sounds a little odd that she would marry you and worry abour something like this.didn't you two talk about this before you did it?I would sit her down and ask why sheis so upset by this and wonder if she is planning on a divorce anytime.I would be very carefulk about what you do. follow the prenump rules to keep things from geting ugly.I would tell her if she doesn't like it too bad, you both agreed and signed the papers.

Yep, we did talk about this stuff. In fact, this is the second time this has happened to me with her. The first time was over the wedding. I paid for 2/3 of it and she paid the last 1/3. Before the day came for her to pay the 1/3, we had discussed and agreed on this and I thought that nothing more of it. When that day came, she really got upset having to pay the 1/3 and threw up to me about that I should pay the whole thing since I had more money. Now, just a few minutes ago before she went to bed, she made the statement to me that our marriage will end someday because I will find someone else that is better than her. She then threw back up to me that I have all the proceeds of my house in the bank and that I get the rental income and that it's drawing so much interest that she will never see because we'll be divorced at that time. She acts like I am hoarding all of it, but I have spent a lot of money on the two of us for our comforts, but it's almost like she doesn't appreciate it.

This has really pissed me off. I tried to make things better by telling her that she is too pessimistic on everything, but then she replied that just the facts in today's world. After her making these statements within such a short period of the car, I am definitely not going to add her to my accounts whatsoever, just as the prenup states. I am losing trust in her completely. At this point, I am beginning to question as to why she really did marry me.

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Willa Weintraub

replied on May 22nd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

echovnc wrote:

I am definitely not going to add her to my accounts whatsoever, just as the prenup states. I am losing trust in her completely. At this point, I am beginning to question as to why she really did marry me.

I am absolutly shocked.I think your doignt he right thing.keep it the way it is and the way the prenump states and things can't get too bad.sure maybe she'll get mad but marriage is *not* about money,it's about love.It' doesn't sound like she's in the marriage for all the right reasons. tell her what you just told me!

"I am losing trust in her completely. At this point, I am beginning to question as to why she really did marry me"

see if any of that grabs her attention!

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mc4ever02

replied on May 22nd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I'm one of those girls, so I apologize if this comes off as rude.

My husbands name is on my car as is mine. Because he traded in his car towards it and I continued the payments. (this is before we were married). Because he had financial interest in it he wanted to guarantee that he got his return in the event of a breakup.

We recently purchases an suv for him. I put down the money for it and he will continue to make payments. My name is also on this title for previously mentioned reasons.

I have made it perfectly clear that I do not expect my name to be put on anything that he previously owned and visaversa.

However If I am to help him pay for any assests my name is to be placed on them as well. He knows this and excepts this. I refuse to help him (for example) pay for a house or a boat or what have you, only to turn around in a divorce and say that my name isn't on it so, therefore, I have no legal intitlement toward it. If I am making a substantial financial contribution to obtaining an asset my name will also appear on it. If he has a problem with my name being on something then I will not help him purchase it. Plain and simple.

My mother is in her 3rd marriage and I have seen first hand what happens when your name is not on something you paid for go to someone else.

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Willa Weintraub

replied on May 23rd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

mc4ever02 wrote:

I'm one of those girls, so I apologize if this comes off as rude.

My husbands name is on my car as is mine. Because he traded in his car towards it and I continued the payments. (this is before we were married). Because he had financial interest in it he wanted to guarantee that he got his return in the event of a breakup.

We recently purchases an suv for him. I put down the money for it and he will continue to make payments. My name is also on this title for previously mentioned reasons.

I have made it perfectly clear that I do not expect my name to be put on anything that he previously owned and visaversa.

However If I am to help him pay for any assests my name is to be placed on them as well. He knows this and excepts this. I refuse to help him (for example) pay for a house or a boat or what have you, only to turn around in a divorce and say that my name isn't on it so, therefore, I have no legal intitlement toward it. If I am making a substantial financial contribution to obtaining an asset my name will also appear on it. If he has a problem with my name being on something then I will not help him purchase it. Plain and simple.

My mother is in her 3rd marriage and I have seen first hand what happens when your name is not on something you paid for go to someone else.

this is different.you guys have an agreement about this and both of youpay for things.they signed a prenump stating thst everything before their marriage stays there's so if there is a break up it will be less nasty.He did say her name was on the vehicle so I don't see what her probem is.It sounds like this woman wants to be put into all his financial assets which is kinds odd and I think a little rude after they both signed the agreement.

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daley

replied on May 24th, 2007

New User

It sounds like she is upset because all of her money is invested in the house and therefore has lessened what she has access to spending. I don't think you should add her to your main account b/c you are not on the house title,

BUT

if she still has a hard time with this she should sell the house and the two of you should go in on something 50/50 (down payments and mortgage fees). If she is not willing then that is too bad, she already has the house in her name.

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Fairy Godmother

replied on May 24th, 2007

Supporter

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Sounds as though she is trying to put you on yet another guilt trip...you stated the first she agreed to 1/3 cost of the wedding, then the day comes and she treid to whine out by saying "you're the one wiht all the $". I would not agree to change anything at this point. If this woman was honest and secure, she would have no reason to even speak the word DIVORCE. This makes me question her, and also other statements she made. I would not even consider a prenup, because I am an honest person and if something were to happen to my husband and myself, I would allow him to have everything that was his before he came into the marriage. As for what we have acccumulated together, I know we would share. I think for me its a trust issue. If you can't trust someone, why be with them? For your own sanity, keep the prenup as it is, and talk to an attorney!

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nightangel73

replied on June 1st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

If you marry in the catholic church you can't have pre-nups agreements with your intended spouse. This is because signing a pre-nup agreement indicates you are predicting a divorce. And reading this original confirms it.

This is a very good topic of discussion.

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