Depression Forum - What Am I ... ?

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Q: What Am I ... ?

asked by: overturearrow on May 19th, 2007

New User

i dont know what ive become. i had a few issues in my life, and they seemed to take a hold of me. some days, im fine and happy and perky, the next the only thing i can feel is hate and how much i want to die. i know i am depressed, but i dont know how severely or anything.

i feel like i cant talk to anyone about it, not my friends or my mom or anyone. im worried someone will tell me otherwise and that im just a drama queen. and even if they dont, how could i work up the courage to tell them that theres something wrong?

but i know there is. the other day, the only thing i could think of is how much i wanted to die and how much i hate myself. this anger is the only thing it seems like i feel anymore. but its not always, when im at school or whatever, i put on a happy face for my friends, but then when i get home im trapped with my mind. its like my house is a ball and chain.

i googled depression, and i found the whole topic confusing. dysthymia, manic, bipolar, severe, PMDD, etc etc etc... i havent the foggiest what i have, or even if i have it!

id really really like to try antidepressants, but again im so afraid to talk to anyone. are there any non-prescription antidepressants for whatever the hell i have i can get on a "bike ride" down to shoppers without my mom knowing?

please help me. i dont know anymore.

Replies(6)

overturearrow

replied on May 19th, 2007

New User

Re: What Am I...?

i know its long! but please, i need a reply!

littlesqueaks

replied on May 19th, 2007

Experienced User

Not for positive but I have heard of St. Johns Wart an over the counter medication that helps with mood swings. I have heard many positive responses from those that have taken it. And I know that my step daughters mother had also given it to her to help her through her mood swings. (depression, anxiety, PMS and other symptoms) She was not consistant with it so I am not sure if it was consistant with it or not.

One of the toughest times in a girls life is her teenage years, so don't think your alone in your feelings I am sure there are many girls around you that might feel the same way. So don't be affraid to talk to someone about what you are going through if you feel that your problem is that sever be open and honest with someone you trust and try to get in to seek help.

But try the St John's Wart and see if it works for you. Good luck.

jessica38

replied on May 20th, 2007

New User

unfortunately, i'm not going to be much of a help here, but i just wanted to let you know that you're definitely not alone. i know that i'm depressed (self-diagnosed), and am way too scared to ever tell my parents. scared and embarrassed, and i wish there was a way to just get rid of all of these awful feelings without having to get a prescription. so if you do find something, please let me know.

hope you find something that works..

Fairy Godmother

replied on May 20th, 2007

Supporter

Sweetie, this is not something you are going ot be able to handle alone. You are going to have to find a mental professional and be able to tell them all you are feeling. Depression hurts and its really hard soemtimes to try to put on htat fake ass happy face and pretendeverything in htewrold is just fine...in reality you hate life. BEen there, done htat...but there are meds that can help. Its not your fault or anyone elses, its a chemical imbalance in our brain. I wish my parents had figured this out 30 years ago. Sometimes it may take several attempts trying different meds that will take that edge off, but when you do, its like LIFE TURNS around. Feel free to IM me if you'd like. I do understnad because I have been there and if you need to talk IM me! Surprised

goodhealth2u

replied on May 22nd, 2007

New User

Dear Overturearrow,

You should really find someone to talk to. It is important for you to know that you are not alone. You are not crazy. It's a chemical imbalance.

If you aren't convinced to go to talk with your family and go to a doctor, then here is another option. Find a local health food store. There are good natural products that can help with depression. Someone in the store would be glad to help you out.

I found a store locally that had someone that could evaluate you and suggest what herbs or vitamins you should take. Some places they do that for free and sometimes they charge.

At one point in my life I didn't have insurance so I couldn't afford the drugs so I tried herbs. They really helped me alot.

Just please make sure you do something. There are a lot of people here cheering you on to good health.

Most Sincerely,
Karen

goodhealth2u

replied on June 6th, 2007

New User

Overturearrow,

How are you doing? You haven't posted any updates? Have you found someone to talk to?...a friend...a family member...a doctor?

I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.

Most Sincerely,
Karen Carmody

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