Parenting Community Forum - Husband And Step Son

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Q: Husband And Step Son

asked by: littlespicywoman on May 17th, 2007

New User

I really need help, I can't sleep and I can't talk to my husband because when I try he walks away or just starts talking loud to me and I have tired to talk to him but it don't work out. We are having problems with my step son and I can't understand why he is acting the way he is and I have tried talking to him and nothing is working. Now all I do is cry and cry all day when everyone is gone and it just seems like nobody is here to talk to and I feel that my husband doesn't listen to me. It's like I want to tell him things but I feel that I am screaming and no one hears me. How do I fix this problem and how do I fix my marriage? I have five kids and just one gives me problems and when the other kids are around I just make a happy face so they don't see the break down I am having. Please, please help me!

Replies(8)

meblonde01

replied on May 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Husband And Step Son

littlespicywoman wrote:

tell me a little more about what the problem is please. I have a step son too..

littlespicywoman

replied on May 17th, 2007

New User

Well first my husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and he has three kids of his own and I have two. The past year my step son has been in so much trouble at school and here at home he calls my other kids names and just a few weeks ago he got pickup my the police cause he was stealing things from the store and my husband talked to him. The thing is that I feel that my husband always and I do mean always has an excuse for him doing something wrong and it's like he has this shield around him so nothing can't get my step son and I ask my husband why he does that and he says I don't do that but he really does. My step son lies and lies and I even catched him in some but my husband don't see that so I am so tired of the lies and now I feel that he is coming between me and my husband.

meblonde01

replied on May 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

littlespicywoman wrote:

well, it is time not to argue about it but to sit your hubby down and say we need to talk.
Tell him you love his son but the way he is acting is putting a wedge between not only you and him, but between you and your husband.
Tell him you don't want to start feeling like the wicked step-mon and that you don't want to start feeling as if you dislike your step-son. Tell your H you are not nagging and don't want to nag, but something has to change before it get to bad and everyone is unhappy.. Be calm and humble when you talk.. Hopefully he will listen.

littlespicywoman

replied on May 17th, 2007

New User

I have try that before and it didn't work and believe me I have try over and over again, nothing is working. I am at the end of my rope and I just feel I can't do a dam thing. I love him with all of my heart and soul but my husband doesn't see what its doing to me. Right now I just wish that a third person can explain to him what is happening to us and show him that our son is breaking us up.

meblonde01

replied on May 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

littlespicywoman wrote:

how about consuling? But if he doesn't think there is a problem he probably won't go there either.

This is tough one..

littlespicywoman

replied on May 17th, 2007

New User

my dear friend who is listening to me, I have tried that too but he is like okay if you think we need to go then lets go but the thing is that he is in retail and there is no time for him. I am just going to just take it and just act like he is right and I am wrong because no matter what in his eyes his son does no wrong, so I guess I will just be depressed. Crying or Very sad

sillyakchick

replied on May 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Have you thought of leaving the parenting of this boy up to his dad? Step families are, I think, one of the hardest relationships to dance around some times. Maybe what they need is a little bit of space to work this out on their own. Would he (the son) believe you if you just told him you will love him no matter what he does? Or is the relationship not that close? My brother was a lil health questions to my my stepmother some times, and they had a really hard time getting along. I think she might have expected more than he could give to her at times. I am sorry that you are inthe middle of the hornet's nest right now, so this might be a good time to try the unconditional but tough love stuff.

littlespicywoman

replied on May 17th, 2007

New User

yes I have tired to let my husband handle it because he is the boys father but it hasn't worked out. When my husband talks to him he just looks at him like okay i hear you but there is nothing I am keeping in my head. Thats how the boys looks at my husband and hey if it was for me, I would get a hold of him and shake him to see what the hell is wrong with him but hey that is not a thing to do so I just will let my husband find out on his own about why am I so sad. Mad

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