That's the only word I can think of to describe what happens to me every so-so months.

It's extremely hard to explain, so I'll try my best.

My body shuts down, completely motionless, my eyes work but I usually end up staring at something. I get this excited feeling in my stomach, sometimes like I have to throw up but only if I just ate, and start thinking REALLY weird thoughts.

And by REALLY weird thoughts, I mean stuff from dreams I don't remember prior, or subconscious thoughts. Really abstract things and it's just so hard to explain, I'm terribly sorry, I know this is vague.

To try and provide an example,

Just 10 minutes ago I was on the phone with my significant other, and while talking perfectly normal a color on my computer screen caught my eye. I started staring at it and my body shut down, so I was just staring, and all these random abstract thoughts came into my head. I was still talking, trying to explain to him what was happening and I tried to shake myself to get my mind out of the set it was in, but that didn't help. In like a minute, it went away, and my man managed to say:

"I'm really worried about you"

These usually come for about 1-4 days every 4 months? It seems? Usually before menstruation but sometimes just whenever. I've also been stessing incessantly about being pregnant when I know I'm probably not. I hope not, anyways.. (I've been tired all the time lately, and urinating more frequently than usual, but the chances that I could've gotten pregnant are so slim I'm beginning to think maybe the urinating and fatigue is all in my mind) Augh..

If anyone, anyone has any idea what's happening to me.. or any advice for me, I'd really REALLY appreciate any help. By the way, I'm 16 years old.

Please email me any information if you can:
bunnichan28@hotmail.com