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I Think I Let the Best Thing Go.

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oxfragilerosexo

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 210
Location: Jacksonville florida
I Think I Let the Best Thing Go.
Posted: 05-15-07 22:53pm

He gave me everything cared about me and still does. I left him for someone that ended up beating me. I know i screwed up but i left the guy i was with and found someone new. it has been almost 8 months since i left him but i think about him constantly.. why.. why can i not get over the past.
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littlesqueaks

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 296
Location: Caldwell, Idaho

Posted: 05-15-07 23:27pm

you know the song "Don't know what you got till it's gone"? Things happen in a relationship where you question if you would be happier with someone else. Things change in a relationship after you have been together for a long time some of the changes you don't expect and sometimes there's changes that you don't want to see happen. Such as the puupy love spark that couples have in the beginning. When you meet someone new and that spark happens again some tend to fall for that feeling again and leave the old behind for the new. What you don't expect is getting into a relationship that you soon to regret and want back what you once had before the new man entered your life. When you enter a bad relationship your mind has a tendancy to think back to the last, best relationship you had and wish that you had it back again.

I am not questioning your feelings for your ex but was there a reason of why you were driven into the arms of another man? Was your relationship with your ex not going well? Not saying there has to be a reason that you had left him, but have you ever thought of why you did.

Strong feelings are hard to shake off. Are you and your Ex still friends? Maybe there is a way of rekindling what you once had. Feel free to PM me anytime if you just need to talk to someone I wish you all the luck.
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Willa Weintraub

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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 3399
Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Re: I Think I Let the Best Thing Go.
Posted: 05-16-07 06:45am

oxfragilerosexo wrote:
He gave me everything cared about me and still does. I left him for someone that ended up beating me. I know i screwed up but i left the guy i was with and found someone new. it has been almost 8 months since i left him but i think about him constantly.. why.. why can i not get over the past.
because you lost something good.like heather said you don't know what you have until it's gone. have you tried to call him or contact him?are you and the abusive guy still together?
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oxfragilerosexo

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 210
Location: Jacksonville florida

Posted: 05-16-07 09:26am

We still talk. There was alot of drinkin going on. We both have a chmical imbalance that drinkin can make worse... (mostly makes us mad.. he never hit me...alot of yelling) but we both quit drinkin no meyy eeeeeed that is what happens when a cat walks on the keyboard... and the abusive guy are not still together i am with someone new.. but I don't feel needed or wanted around here. I have to be needed. I honestly am just tired of feeling like i am not good enough.Like i will never have no one or nothing to love.. I think another thing is I want the guy I am with to love me as much as my ex did and he has a thing where he even said it could be years for him and he still might not love me. Well i don't want to know that. I want to be loved i hate being with someone and knowing that there is a possibility that I will never be loved by them. I am just so lost. I have no friends. And i am slipping farther into a depression that i have been fighting for years..(i am bipolar and manic depressive) And i was doing good. when i was with my ex.. i never got that way. I dunno i am calling my ex now to tell him i still love him.
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Willa Weintraub

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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
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Thanked:46

Posted: 05-16-07 09:38am

go fro it girl! I am asking some personal questions so if you don't wnt to answer you don't have to! Why did you leave your ex?was there a reason besides the fact that there was someone else? When your with someone its should be because they care about you and are heading towards or already do love you.If it takes 'years' for him to love,Imo he isn't worth it and he does not have the same intentions as you do.how old are you? maybe you need to take some time out for yourself?be you,do things for *you*! you don't need a man to be happy hun Wink
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oxfragilerosexo

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 210
Location: Jacksonville florida

Posted: 05-16-07 09:53am

~*~Melissa~*~ wrote:
go fro it girl! I am asking some personal questions so if you don't wnt to answer you don't have to! Why did you leave your ex?was there a reason besides the fact that there was someone else? When your with someone its should be because they care about you and are heading towards or already do love you.If it takes 'years' for him to love,Imo he isn't worth it and he does not have the same intentions as you do.how old are you? maybe you need to take some time out for yourself?be you,do things for *you*! you don't need a man to be happy hun Wink


It scares me to be by myself.. and it is harder. I don't have a job cause the guy i am with now his mom asked me to stay home this summer and watch his little brother since we live with his mom. So even i f i wanted to leave i have no where to go... My abusive boyfriend and i wore out the welcome with my family as he did not hold a job for like 3 of six or seven months i was with him and i still kept forgiving him. I have asked the guy i am with to talk to me about it to tell me how he feels if this is only sex and he won't tell me. I am so confused. I just really need some me time someone to talk to to go out to lunch and just talk. I wish that i could just get away and disappear and no one no where i am..(I can't drive) If my ex asked me to move to ohio i would do it. He already told me he could get me a job i don't know if i should have taken that as a hint or what. but i just can't figure anything out. Why do i have to be an emotional teen. I just wish that i knew if i am making the right choice. I am so impulsive i do things and don't think them through. and see also my periods have been funny i don't think i am pregnant. but the past two have only lasted a few days and the last one lasted like a week.. but there was also alot of stress as i was still with the guy that beat me and was trying to break up with him scared that he was going to kill me(he told me if he can't have me no one could which scares me and has me looking over my shoulder.. but i don't think he would do it then again he did try to kill himself what makes me think he won't try it with me.).. PM ME please i just need someone to talk to.. I don't have yahoo or nothing.
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paul995

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Posts: 140
Location: ,

Posted: 05-24-07 17:59pm

. . . because you love him . . .
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entices1

Supporter
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 120
Location: North Florida, USA
You Let the Best Thing Go?
Posted: 05-24-07 18:35pm

I know you're broken-hearted and it scares you to be along, but GET OUT OF THERE!!!! Forget watching his younger brother--sounds like older brother and do a good enough job on his own, given his work record.

Is there some reason your family won't take you back, especially if you're contrite. Parents can be very forgiving. Perhaps an older sibling who lives on his/her own could provide you a place or a friend could let you stay with her--I said HER--in your state you need time away from men. If you can't, perhaps you can find a shelter for abused women. STAY OFF THE STREETS!!!

Melissa's right, you DON'T need a man to be happy. You must first be happy with yourself. You say you have an emotional imbalance. Are you on meds? Have you seen a mental health professional? You need more help than anyone on this group can provide (no offense to the supporters), you need face time with someone who is looking out for your best interests and who will challenge you to get better.

I care about you, and I want you to start on the road towards wellness. You have to take that first tentative step, like a toddler learning to walk. It's scary but you can do it.

Good luck and please get away from that situation RIGHT AWAY!
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oxfragilerosexo

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 210
Location: Jacksonville florida
Re: You Let the Best Thing Go?
Posted: 05-24-07 23:03pm

entices1 wrote:
I know you're broken-hearted and it scares you to be along, but GET OUT OF THERE!!!! Forget watching his younger brother--sounds like older brother and do a good enough job on his own, given his work record.

Is there some reason your family won't take you back, especially if you're contrite. Parents can be very forgiving. Perhaps an older sibling who lives on his/her own could provide you a place or a friend could let you stay with her--I said HER--in your state you need time away from men. If you can't, perhaps you can find a shelter for abused women. STAY OFF THE STREETS!!!

Melissa's right, you DON'T need a man to be happy. You must first be happy with yourself. You say you have an emotional imbalance. Are you on meds? Have you seen a mental health professional? You need more help than anyone on this group can provide (no offense to the supporters), you need face time with someone who is looking out for your best interests and who will challenge you to get better.

I care about you, and I want you to start on the road towards wellness. You have to take that first tentative step, like a toddler learning to walk. It's scary but you can do it.

Good luck and please get away from that situation RIGHT AWAY!


It is not the boyfriend that i am with now that beats me it was an ex but it was just little while ago that i was with him.
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entices1

Supporter
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 120
Location: North Florida, USA
I'm Confused
Posted: 05-25-07 19:04pm

Based on what I read from your post you were in a potentially life-threatening situation. Is it just that you've broken up with someone and you're incredibly unhappy?

You broke up with the first guy for a guy who ended up abusing you, is that right? Is there any chance that guy1 would consider taking you back if you came back contrite and made a very heart-felt apology? If not, then you have to learn from your mistake.

A relationship (with very few exceptions) takes time. How long were you and guy1 together before you threw him over? Did something happen to cause you to seek comfort with guy2? If so, if this ever happens again, be careful of what you wish for because it might come true. There's no law that says you have to have instant chemistry with a guy.

The basis of a relationship is friendship. Everything good takes time, and if after some period of time, you realize you want to be more than friends with him then don't let anything stand in your way (unless he doesn't and then you may have to move on). If you decide that you don't want to get emotionally involved with him the worst thing that happened is that you made a friend.

I'm sorry you're hurting--sometimes the best lessons are learned the hard way.

Good luck and keep posting.

Camille
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