my girlfriend and i tried having sex
without a condom for the first time. shes
saying that she has missed her period. she
is freaking out about if shes pregnant or
not. i really need to know what to do if
she is, if she is we cant tell her parents
and we cant tell mine. they would never
let us see each other again and everything
would just be all messed up and i love her
, weve been together for almost a year it
will be 10 months on the 24th of may. i
need to know if just incase she is , does
one of eather of our parents need to be
there for it , or could i get a close
friends mom to do it. we have two parents
that will do it. and how much will it all
cost. i dont want to lose her , hell i
dont know what i would do without her . i
need an answer , please someone let me
know . thanks
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Re: I Hope We Can Do It Posted: 05-15-07 20:35pm
collin72406
wrote:
my girlfriend and i tried
having sex without a condom for the first
time. shes saying that she has missed her
period. she is freaking out about if shes
pregnant or not. i really need to know
what to do if she is, if she is we cant
tell her parents and we cant tell mine.
they would never let us see each other
again and everything would just be all
messed up and i love her , weve been
together for almost a year it will be 10
months on the 24th of may. i need to know
if just incase she is , does one of eather
of our parents need to be there for it ,
or could i get a close friends mom to do
it. we have two parents that will do it.
and how much will it all cost. i dont want
to lose her , hell i dont know what i
would do without her . i need an answer ,
please someone let me know .
thanks
Why did you have sex without a condom if
she wasn't on any other form of
protection? You should have known that
pregnancy could result from this.
I think you're asking if her parents need
to be there for... an abortion? Or do you
mean the pregnancy test?
First things first, your girlfriend needs
to confirm that she is actually pregnant.
You need to take her to a store and buy a
test. It has directions for proper use.
The first time she goes to the bathroom in
the morning is the best time to test as
that urine is the most concentrated.
If that test comes out positive, or, if
you can't tell, then you need to go to a
clinic such as planned parenthood. No
parents need to be there, just you and
your girlfriend. They will give her a
blood test if she got a positive, or maybe
another urine one to confirm if she is
pregnant.
Then, if she is pregnant, she will need to
make the hard desicion. Does she keep the
baby, does she give it up for adoption, or
does she abort it? You can give advice,
but you don't have the right to tell her
what to do. It's her body.
Abortions can be expensive. Then again
pregnancy can be too. The people at the
planned parenthood can help your
girlfriend with these desicions; they
won't push her in either direction.
They'll give her the pros and cons.
How old are you guys? I'm glad you have a
few adults who are willing to assist you
ad your girlfriend.
Also, this post needs to be moved off of
the abortion debate forum and placed on
the "medical abortion" forum. This is not
up for debate, these are two people who
need help, not hate.
|
HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8005 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-16-07 08:07am
I love it how my post was deleted because
i was honest.
don't be irresponsible and don't have
sex without protection .k.n.o.w.i.n.g
that's how you get pregnant and then want
to get an abortion!!!!! that's the
most idiotic thing i've ever heard in my
life.
if you have sex without protection then
you should live with the consequences.
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3791 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 29
Thanked:11
Posted: 05-16-07 08:17am
What you did was very iresponsible,
unproteced sex will eventually lead to a
pregnancy you really should have been more
careful. I pray that she's not pregnant
because the fact the you had unprotected
sex knowing full well that an abortion
would be readily available for her if she
was to be pregnant is so iresponsible and
to be quite frank makes me feel ill.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-16-07 13:07pm
Look you guys, he may have not know; I'm
not saying this makes it better, but he
may have thought that a girl somehow can't
get pregnant the first time she has
unprotected sex, or maybe they thought it
was a safe time during her cycle.
DO not carry out your anti-abortion (or
even slightly pro-life) views out against
this guy.
Original poster, we'd love to hear back
from you and your girlfriend as to how
you're doing.
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4049 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 143
Thanked:13
Posted: 05-16-07 13:11pm
Saying what the guy should have done in
the past is not helpful.
Have you ever made a mistake?
It sounds like he is very young, and needs
help.
Dannzibelle, are you not fifteen years old
and pregnant? Alot of people would say
that your choices were "very
irresponsible" (your words). Be careful
what you say about other people. I know
you are a very responsible young lady, and
I respect that. However, those who live
in glass houses...
collin72406
wrote:
my girlfriend and i tried
having sex without a condom for the first
time. shes saying that she has missed her
period. she is freaking out about if shes
pregnant or not. i really need to know
what to do if she is, if she is we cant
tell her parents and we cant tell mine.
they would never let us see each other
again and everything would just be all
messed up and i love her , weve been
together for almost a year it will be 10
months on the 24th of may. i need to know
if just incase she is , does one of eather
of our parents need to be there for it ,
or could i get a close friends mom to do
it. we have two parents that will do it.
and how much will it all cost. i dont want
to lose her , hell i dont know what i
would do without her . i need an answer ,
please someone let me know .
thanks
Okay, you goofed up; let it be a lesson.
I know using condoms is a bummer, but
that's the deal unless you get your tubes
chopped. She needs birth control, too, so
you don't have to worry about the condom
breaking.
If you are in the .u.s., what state are
you in? And what are your ages? These
things matter in regards to parental
consent and abortion laws.
Eiri has great advice; just take her to a
planned parenthood to 1. Find out if she
is pregnant 2. help you figure out how to
proceed if she is and 3. if she is not
pregnant, get her on some b.c. and get
some education.
Don't goof up again, or I will come
through the computer "the ring" style and
beat your testicles with a full box of
trojans.
I love it how my post was
deleted because i was honest.
don't be irresponsible and don't have
sex without protection .k.n.o.w.i.n.g
that's how you get pregnant and then want
to get an abortion!!!!! that's the
most idiotic thing i've ever heard in my
life.
if you have sex without protection then
you should live with the
consequences.
Consenting to sex is not consenting to
spending nine months pregnant at 18 years
raising a child. Understand that fact
before you give advice.
To the original poster: I agree with all
that EIri said. Now you need to make sure
that you use protection all the time if
you don't want children yet. It may be
worth asking the doctor for different
contraceptions for your girlfriend.
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3791 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 29
Thanked:11
Posted: 05-16-07 13:28pm
Birch
wrote:
Saying what the guy should
have done in the past is not helpful.
Have you ever made a mistake?
It sounds like he is very young, and needs
help.
Dannzibelle, are you not fifteen years old
and pregnant? Alot of people would say
that your choices were "very
irresponsible" (your words). Be careful
what you say about other people. I know
you are a very responsible young lady, and
I respect that. However, those who live
in glass houses...
collin72406
wrote:
my girlfriend and i tried
having sex without a condom for the first
time. shes saying that she has missed her
period. she is freaking out about if shes
pregnant or not. i really need to know
what to do if she is, if she is we cant
tell her parents and we cant tell mine.
they would never let us see each other
again and everything would just be all
messed up and i love her , weve been
together for almost a year it will be 10
months on the 24th of may. i need to know
if just incase she is , does one of eather
of our parents need to be there for it ,
or could i get a close friends mom to do
it. we have two parents that will do it.
and how much will it all cost. i dont want
to lose her , hell i dont know what i
would do without her . i need an answer ,
please someone let me know .
thanks
Okay, you goofed up; let it be a lesson.
I know using condoms is a bummer, but
that's the deal unless you get your tubes
chopped. She needs birth control, too, so
you don't have to worry about the condom
breaking.
If you are in the .u.s., what state are
you in? And what are your ages? These
things matter in regards to parental
consent and abortion laws.
Eiri has great advice; just take her to a
planned parenthood to 1. Find out if she
is pregnant 2. help you figure out how to
proceed if she is and 3. if she is not
pregnant, get her on some b.c. and get
some education.
Don't goof up again, or I will come
through the computer "the ring" style and
beat your testicles with a full box of
trojans.
yes i am 15 years old and pregnant but i
was on the pill which i had bad reactions
to so had to come off and we used condoms
and i got pregnant through that so
personally i don't see that as
iresponsible because i didn't actually
have unprotected sex i was just one of the
unlucky ones
|
meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2131 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 05-16-07 13:32pm
Dannzibelle
wrote:
Birch
wrote:
Saying what the guy should
have done in the past is not helpful.
Have you ever made a mistake?
It sounds like he is very young, and needs
help.
Dannzibelle, are you not fifteen years old
and pregnant? Alot of people would say
that your choices were "very
irresponsible" (your words). Be careful
what you say about other people. I know
you are a very responsible young lady, and
I respect that. However, those who live
in glass houses...
collin72406
wrote:
my girlfriend and i tried
having sex without a condom for the first
time. shes saying that she has missed her
period. she is freaking out about if shes
pregnant or not. i really need to know
what to do if she is, if she is we cant
tell her parents and we cant tell mine.
they would never let us see each other
again and everything would just be all
messed up and i love her , weve been
together for almost a year it will be 10
months on the 24th of may. i need to know
if just incase she is , does one of eather
of our parents need to be there for it ,
or could i get a close friends mom to do
it. we have two parents that will do it.
and how much will it all cost. i dont want
to lose her , hell i dont know what i
would do without her . i need an answer ,
please someone let me know .
thanks
Okay, you goofed up; let it be a lesson.
I know using condoms is a bummer, but
that's the deal unless you get your tubes
chopped. She needs birth control, too, so
you don't have to worry about the condom
breaking.
If you are in the .u.s., what state are
you in? And what are your ages? These
things matter in regards to parental
consent and abortion laws.
Eiri has great advice; just take her to a
planned parenthood to 1. Find out if she
is pregnant 2. help you figure out how to
proceed if she is and 3. if she is not
pregnant, get her on some b.c. and get
some education.
Don't goof up again, or I will come
through the computer "the ring" style and
beat your testicles with a full box of
trojans.
yes i am 15 years old and pregnant but i
was on the pill which i had bad reactions
to so had to come off and we used condoms
and i got pregnant through that so
personally i don't see that as
iresponsible because i didn't actually
have unprotected sex i was just one of the
unlucky ones
When is your Baby due? And I have to
commend you for keeping it. You are very
young, but I bet you will a great
mother!!!
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3791 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 29
Thanked:11
Posted: 05-16-07 13:40pm
meblonde01
wrote:
Dannzibelle
wrote:
Birch
wrote:
Saying what the guy should
have done in the past is not helpful.
Have you ever made a mistake?
It sounds like he is very young, and needs
help.
Dannzibelle, are you not fifteen years old
and pregnant? Alot of people would say
that your choices were "very
irresponsible" (your words). Be careful
what you say about other people. I know
you are a very responsible young lady, and
I respect that. However, those who live
in glass houses...
collin72406
wrote:
my girlfriend and i tried
having sex without a condom for the first
time. shes saying that she has missed her
period. she is freaking out about if shes
pregnant or not. i really need to know
what to do if she is, if she is we cant
tell her parents and we cant tell mine.
they would never let us see each other
again and everything would just be all
messed up and i love her , weve been
together for almost a year it will be 10
months on the 24th of may. i need to know
if just incase she is , does one of eather
of our parents need to be there for it ,
or could i get a close friends mom to do
it. we have two parents that will do it.
and how much will it all cost. i dont want
to lose her , hell i dont know what i
would do without her . i need an answer ,
please someone let me know .
thanks
Okay, you goofed up; let it be a lesson.
I know using condoms is a bummer, but
that's the deal unless you get your tubes
chopped. She needs birth control, too, so
you don't have to worry about the condom
breaking.
If you are in the .u.s., what state are
you in? And what are your ages? These
things matter in regards to parental
consent and abortion laws.
Eiri has great advice; just take her to a
planned parenthood to 1. Find out if she
is pregnant 2. help you figure out how to
proceed if she is and 3. if she is not
pregnant, get her on some b.c. and get
some education.
Don't goof up again, or I will come
through the computer "the ring" style and
beat your testicles with a full box of
trojans.
yes i am 15 years old and pregnant but i
was on the pill which i had bad reactions
to so had to come off and we used condoms
and i got pregnant through that so
personally i don't see that as
iresponsible because i didn't actually
have unprotected sex i was just one of the
unlucky ones
When is your Baby due? And I have to
commend you for keeping it. You are very
young, but I bet you will a great
mother!!!
In just under 6 weeks on the 23rd june.
For me and my boyfriend there was no other
choice really neither of us like abortion,
i knew i couldn't carry a child i would
love to term and then have it adopted so
the only choice left was to keep her and
for me it was the best decision i could
have made
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4049 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 143
Thanked:13
Posted: 05-16-07 14:29pm
Dannzibelle
wrote:
yes i am 15 years old and
pregnant but i was on the pill which i had
bad reactions to so had to come off and we
used condoms and i got pregnant through
that so personally i don't see that as
iresponsible because i didn't actually
have unprotected sex i was just one of the
unlucky ones
Some would say the decision to have sex at
fifteen years old is not responsible.
Some would say that only using a condom,
regardless of your reaction to hormonal
medication, is not responsible.
I support your choice to maintain your
pregnancy, of course...that's not what I
meant. (Just to clarify).
My point was that I would be careful
throwing the word "irresponsible" around
so casually.
I am no saint; I have only used condoms as
well, but then I am not going to be
jumping on people about their behavior
either.
Again, I think you sound like a pretty
sane fifteen year old, and I'm sure you'll
be a good mother.
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3791 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 29
Thanked:11
Posted: 05-16-07 14:36pm
Birch
wrote:
Dannzibelle
wrote:
yes i am 15 years old and
pregnant but i was on the pill which i had
bad reactions to so had to come off and we
used condoms and i got pregnant through
that so personally i don't see that as
iresponsible because i didn't actually
have unprotected sex i was just one of the
unlucky ones
Some would say the decision to have sex at
fifteen years old is not responsible.
Some would say that only using a condom,
regardless of your reaction to hormonal
medication, is not responsible.
I support your choice to maintain your
pregnancy, of course...that's not what I
meant. (Just to clarify).
My point was that I would be careful
throwing the word "irresponsible" around
so casually.
I am no saint; I have only used condoms as
well, but then I am not going to be
jumping on people about their behavior
either.
Again, I think you sound like a pretty
sane fifteen year old, and I'm sure you'll
be a good
mother.
Some people might say that but then again
some people also think that having sex
before marriage is irresponsible even if
the woman is in her 30's. Don't get me
wrong i do understand what you are saying
and i didn't take offense to it because at
the end of day it's my life and my choice
and i have to live with that and i don't
expect everyone to agree with what i do or
believe
|
HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8005 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-16-07 21:19pm
Kypros
wrote:
HcoBrunette06
wrote:
I love it how my post was
deleted because i was honest.
don't be irresponsible and don't have
sex without protection .k.n.o.w.i.n.g
that's how you get pregnant and then want
to get an abortion!!!!! that's the
most idiotic thing i've ever heard in my
life.
if you have sex without protection then
you should live with the
consequences.
Consenting to sex is not consenting to
spending nine months pregnant at 18 years
raising a child. Understand that fact
before you give advice.
To the original poster: I agree with all
that EIri said. Now you need to make sure
that you use protection all the time if
you don't want children yet. It may be
worth asking the doctor for different
contraceptions for your
girlfriend.
excuse me, but having unprotected sex is
consenting to pregnancy thank you
very much! you know it can happen
and if you are going to abuse that when
you don't want a child then you shouldn't
be having sex at all.
|
arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4469 Location: Illinois,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-16-07 21:27pm
i agree with .terra. if you have sex
without a condom, or without the girl
being on any type of birth control is
basically saying that you are okay with
having a baby. if you have unprotected
sex, you will get pregnant. maybe
not the first time. maybe not the second
time. but it will eventually happen. if
you don't want to get pregnant, or get
someone pregnant, you have got to use
protection. that's it. if you aren't man
enough to raise a baby, you aren't man
enough to have sex without a condom or
birth control.
end of.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-16-07 21:28pm
HcoBrunette06
wrote:
excuse me, but having unprotected sex is
consenting to pregnancy thank you
very much! you know it can happen
and if you are going to abuse that when
you don't want a child then you shouldn't
be having sex at
all.
No it is not, and this forum is not the
place to be debating it. Driving a car is
not consenting to a crash. Going out in
the sun is not consenting to skin cancer.
These are all consequences of actions, yet
not ones you consent to. Please do not
post such things here.
|
HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8005 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-16-07 21:32pm
oh blah.
you never want to hear opinions that you
dont agree with.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-16-07 21:34pm
arcadia
wrote:
i agree with .terra. if you
have sex without a condom, or without the
girl being on any type of birth control is
basically saying that you are okay with
having a baby. if you have unprotected
sex, you will get pregnant. maybe
not the first time. maybe not the second
time. but it will eventually happen. if
you don't want to get pregnant, or get
someone pregnant, you have got to use
protection. that's it. if you aren't man
enough to raise a baby, you aren't man
enough to have sex without a condom or
birth control.
end of.
I agree much more with the way you phrased
things, and I must agree.
"if you have sex without a condom, or
without the girl being on any type of
birth control is basically saying that you
are okay with having a baby."
An exception to this is of course if this
guy did not know that the first time would
cause pregnancy. That doesn't mean it
wasn't dumb, but it does mean you can't
completely be angry at them, unlike two
totally knowledgable adults.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-16-07 21:35pm
HcoBrunette06
wrote:
oh blah.
you never want to hear opinions that you
dont agree
with.
On the abortion support forum, opinions
like yours are not welcome.
It would be like going onto the prgnancy
forum and telling all of them that they
are contributing to overpopulation and the
downfall of social security.
|
HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8005 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-16-07 21:36pm
we said the exact same thing except
with different wording!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4469 Location: Illinois,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-16-07 21:38pm
that is true, .eiri.
although i do find it hard to believe that
someone 18 years old would not know that
she could fall pregnant, ya know? but i
suppose it's possible. it's just sad that
someone that age wouldn't be educated in
that aspect.
& .it would be silly of me to be angry
at someone for having unprotected sex
& becoming pregnant.. because that's
exactly what i did! i didn't want a baby,
but we did it, anyway. & .of course, i
got pregnant.
And I have to
commend you for keeping it. You are very
young, but I bet you will a great
mother!!!
