Pregnancy Community Chat Forum - How Am I Suppose to Feel..... Venting

Pregnancy Forum > Pregnancy Community Chat Forum > How Am I Suppose to Feel..... Venting

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Q: How Am I Suppose to Feel..... Venting

asked by: confused_girl on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

Two nights ago I was laying in bed with my fiance and all he turned over to me and asked me a dumb but very hurtfull question of "If you don't love someone anymore is cheating okay?" I told him no its not okay to cheat he has hurt me now by asking that question. Well I am 26 weeks pregnant and he asks me that. so I asked him if it was between us and he said no of course not and he was just wondering. So this makes me so nervous now that I dont know how to react anymore my emotions are up and down and I got sent home from work because I couldn't stop crying. I am just so pissed off he asked me that and I dont know if I should let us have some time apart or if I should just try to make things work out and be there for him and his daughter. I am the better mother figure to her than her biological mother because she has told people who know me that she smokes pot because she can't handle the three kids she has. But anyways I am sorry for the long post but I am stuck about what I should do about the question.

Replies(18)

mc4ever02

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Is there a reason for you to suspect that he doesn't love you? Are you guys gong through a rough patch? Or could he have been asking because of a friend?

Emma2

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

oh my....i would be just as insecure and angry as you are . I don;t know what i would though...try asking him how he feels about you? I'm sorry

Dannzibelle

replied on May 14th, 2007

Supporter

That would have angered me because when someone asks you that kind of thing what are you supposed to expect? i think you should just ask him outright if he is cheating or considering cheating for your own piece of mind

confused_girl

replied on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

I asked him and he said he loves me to death and all and he just felt like asking that question to be stupid. But I think there is more to it and he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. I love him to death he has changed me from someone who was so insecure to someone who is different then that and now he makes me think all that. My emotions make me sound so dumb but it hurts. And to top it off i haven't felt movement from my baby since he asked that question

mc4ever02

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

If you seriously haven't felt movement. That is what you should be most concerned with right now.

How often do you normally feel movements?

You should drink something very cold like juice and lay down and see if you can feel any movement.

Dannzibelle

replied on May 14th, 2007

Supporter

mc4ever02 wrote:

i agree, doctors say that you should be able to feel atleast 10 movements during each day. Try something sugary or orange juice that usually gets my little one moving

confused_girl

replied on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

I tried that both days and nothing I called my doctor and she said to wait until tomorrow and if nothing by tonight i am seeing her. I wish it wasn't this hard, I have told my fiance and he was like what am I suppose to do for you. I just give up!

mamaTT

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I am so sorry! I would probably be feeling the exact same way you are. The best advice I can give you, is just to sit down and talk to him. Tell him how hurtful that question was to you and how insecure it made you feel with your relationship. Sometimes, men can be very insensitive and don't think about other's feelings before opening their mouths. My husband has said many things that have upset me in the past, but he always is just being stupid and has never meant anything by it. Just sit down and have a nice long talk with him. Sometimes that can solve everything!! Good luck to you and I hope you feel better!!!

mc4ever02

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I'm shocked that your doctor wasn't more concerned. If I were you and had not felt movement in two days. (especially with all of the stress) I would have my but in the er. Just to make sure.

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. He really should have thought of how that question must sound. And I'm sorry to say, but I agree that is sounds odd that it is just a random question to pop into his head for no reason. That is why I asked about him maybe having a friend that is cheating or something was on tv to make him think of it.

And I would be one mad momma for my fathers child to not be just a tad more concerned about the movement thing.

confused_girl

replied on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

I tried to sit down and talk to him too but he says " It was just a question babe." so now it's all down hill for my feelings. I know I can trust him. I asked him in my version to see if it made him think about what he asked and i said it like this : " So would it be okay to cheat on you if I didn't love you anymore." He said he didn't get how I felt because men are jerks sometimes so I am hoping we can work this out and I can still be there for him and his daughter who is a very excited 4 year old big sister now.

mc4ever02

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

If you feel that you can trust him. Then you should. It is good that you told him how you feel. But it is so true that sometimes people just genuinly don't think before they speak.

I just wanted to be clear: If I were you, I would have been livid and hurt all at the same time. You are conpletely founded in how you feel.

I hope things get better soon!

confused_girl

replied on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

Thanks Mc I hope it does get better because I don't want to lose this man he's my everything. I have never had a guy be so good to me when it came to him and I being together I didn't think it would last this long and it has until just now about that damn question.

sillyakchick

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I am sorry you are going through this. Hormones rage so badly when you are pregnant. If my husband would have asked me if I wanted Chocolate or Vanilla Ice Cream while I was prego I would have burst into tears. They are sometimes so clueless as to what they are syaing, and they have no idea the insanity raging through our heads! Take a deep breath, it will get better. As for the movement, There were many times I swore the baby was still born in there, and it was usually when I was really stressed out. She was just a quiet little thing in there-especially when she got past 20 weeks-I think she ran out of room for somersaulting. It's OK to go have it checked out by your care provider, though. Good luck. He's probably just being a guy. Rolling Eyes

confused_girl

replied on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

Thanks for the reply tonight I just sat down with him and had a long talk and he says he is very sorry and he didn't think but he still sounds a little hesitant towards it all and I hate that. So I called my mother and asked her what I should do and all she said was she is my mother and she can't tell me what to do anymore and she says to keep working things out. LOL my mom is crazy sometimes let me tell ya. So I called my dad to see what he thought about the question and he says well that is one arsehole to me. So my father told me to get over I am just a dumb young girl who doesn't know how to handle crap! Me handling crap I didn't walk away from my mother when she was a month pregnant and said the whole entire time I wasn't his! he drives me crazy to the point I hate him I have only known him these last three almost four years of my life!

mc4ever02

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Sorry your dad was so unsupportive. I'm sure you guys will work it out with time. Have you felt any movement yet?

confused_girl

replied on May 14th, 2007

Experienced User

No movement yet so tomorrow at 8am I am headed to the doctors office and I want to demand a last ultrasound we had one other one and the baby didn't want to show us the in between parts so if I get another one hopefully we will find out what the baby's sex is, instead of the "Here mama heres my butt."

mc4ever02

replied on May 14th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Please let us know right away that everything is ok.

Willa Weintraub

replied on May 15th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I think you might be oer reactingf and looing for things.I do it all the time and the fact that your hormones are raging makes it that much worse! calm down.He had every chance in the world to come right out and say something if he was asking that for himself so relax.I get to thinking about things someties and ask dumb questions too! lol

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